An Action-Packed Week At Keele In Mid-February 1984

Truda Smith, Kate Fricker & Mark Ellicott, with thanks to the latter for the photo

Another week in which the diary only tells a small part of the story, as my memory dredges other details too, not least the fact that Kate (now Susan) Fricker was elected SU President that week.

Sunday 12 February 1984 – Took Bobbie [Scully] to Health Centre in the morning – not at all well. Odd day clearing up etc – saw film – went Union in evening.

Monday 13 February 1984 – Funny day – tried visit B etc. – let her out in afternoon – went there & Constitutional Committee eve – met Jula [close friend of Bobbie’s] et. al. afterwards

I don’t remember what ailed Bobbie, but this incident brought back memories of my own incarceration in the health centre at the same time of year the previous year with glandular fever.

I wonder whether Bobbie had rubella, as I was afflicted with that two or three weeks after her captivity.

“Funny day…” – I am pretty sure that Concourse came out around then (probably the Monday), with my seminal H Ackgrass article in it.

In order to cover my tracks, I was as visceral about myself in that initial piece as I had been about the students’ union protagonists. I particularly remember Annalisa de Mercur approaching me in the Chancellor’s Building, worried that I might be upset by the coverage. So concerned was she and so seemingly unconvinced by my shrugging it off, I confessed to her that I was H Ackgrass and adopted her into the small inner sanctum of spies henceforward. This proved to be a useful tactic, as Annalisa was a bit differently connected to people on the periphery of union politics than my other spies and was unlikely to be suspected as part of an underground H Ackgrass network.

Tuesday, 14 February 1984 – Pleasant day – prepared talk for evening – fairly lazy day – gave talk to Careless Talk in eve – Bobbie came back.

Wednesday, 15 February 1984 – Busyish day about place – shopped – worked etc. Popped over to B’s for a while in eve.

I’ve talked about Careless Talk otherwise known as “Bob & Sally’s Thing”) previously…

…but I did not in truth remember ever giving a talk to Careless Talk. Ashley Fletcher and/or Sally Hyman might remember what I talked about. It might have been something to do with the economics I was studying (I was deep into the pharmaceutical industry for my dissertation that year) or something to do with my view that reform is universally preferable to revolution.

Thursday, 16 February 1984 – Busyish day – worked, union etc – didn’t get much work done. Went over to B’s – stayed.

Friday, 17 February 1984 – Hectic day – shops – classes, etc. Election count etc – Jilly [Black] arrived – went home and had meal.

Saturday, 18 February 1984 – I showed Jilly around – went to Newcastle – came back – cooked a big meal – stayed in after.

Jilly visiting Keele, but I think this photo was on a subsequent visit later that year.

Kate Fricker winning that presidential election was the first peg in the ground of a seemingly suitable committee for 1984/85. Good people, such as John White and Pete Wild, had already put their names forward for the next round of elections by then too. In my mind, Bobbie would be the final sabbatical peg as Education & Welfare Officer, but Bobbie had other ideas.

Unconnected with union politics, I think Bobbie went away that weekend to see her family. That will have been one of the reasons that it was a suitable weekend for Jilly to visit Keele. I’m not entirely sure who would have participated in “the big meal” I describe for the Saturday, but it might well have included people like Annalisa de Mercur and/or Michelle Epstein. It might well have included my flatmate Alan Gorman, who enjoyed the sort of food I cooked, as did Vivian Robinson, with whom I was very much on dining terms by then. My other flatmates, Pete Wild and his regularly visiting girlfriend Melissa Oliveck were strict vegetarians, as was, I think, Chris Spencer, the other actual resident.

Whoever it was who dined, given that I described it as “a big meal”, Barnes L54 will have been buzzing that evening.

As a slightly strange postscript – several of the characters from this piece met up for dinner almost exactly forty years after the events:

When I “Went OTT” At Keele, In Matters Culinary And Community, Early February 1984

My Chinese food at Keele was not quite as OTT as this picture, 26 years later, of me in Dali, Yunnan Province

My early February diary is silent on the more consequential things that were going on – me starting my “career” as a Concourse gossip columnist and political machination-ista.

I guess I wrote my first H Ackgrass column in the early days of February 1984. Around the same time, I must have “forged” Alan Gorman’s (aka The Great Yorkshire Pudding’s) spoof candidacy for president of the union – another matter that I wrote about some while ago:

But my diary is mostly concerned with work, distractions from work, food, health and going out.

Thursday 2 February 1984 Again, did a little work – went to J-Soc in eve – did some work after -> Bobby came over.

Friday 3 February 1984 Tried to do some work today – went to film -> bar for a while – then did a little work.

Saturday 4 February 1984 Went shopping today – did some work (not much) – cooked Bobby a meal in Eve (went OTT – very nice).

I have written elsewhere about my strides with cooking – not least Chinese cooking, at Keele that 83/43 year:

That weekend in 1984 was Chinese New Year (Year of the Rat, seeing as you asked). 40 years on, I am writing this piece on Chinese New Year (Year of the Dragon).

Almost certainly the OTT meal mentioned in the diary would have been Chinese. Wonton soup was probably the starter, although I was also experimenting with hot and sour at times that year. The main course was probably chicken with cashew nuts in yellow bean sauce or beef in black bean sauce. Rice would have been involved and probably some tinned Chinese vegetables (it was impossible to get fresh ones at Keele back then) such as baby corn cobs, water chestnuts and/or bamboo shoots. The only fresh vegetable in sight was probably the trusty large bag of beansprouts, spread liberally throughout the meal.

I might even have gone as far as to produce a blended chestnut puree desert with some blended cream – it was a sort of fusion desert from one of the Sharwoods Chinese mini cook books.

Sunday 5 February 1984 Tried to do some work today of the latest start. Many distractions, but did some – went over to bees after for a while.

Monday, 6 February 1984 Did little work today – busy in union – meeting in evening – worked and went over to Bobbie’s after.

Tuesday, 7 February 1984 Did some work today – and went shopping – worked in eve – popped over to B’s for a while.

Wednesday, 8 February 1984 Worked reasonably hard today –Got a fair bit done – Bobby came over after.

My guess is that “many distractions” included getting that initial H Ackgrass column written and surreptitiously filed.

I also guess that “busy in Union” was the day that presidential submissions needed to go in, but I could be wrong. I do remember being so relieved that Alan “Great Yorkshire Pudding” Gorman, after expressing irritation close to anger that I had stitched him up as a spoof candidate, decided to see the funny side of it and join in the fun. My purpose had only really been to try to liven up the election and get more students to engage with the process.

Thursday, 9 February 1984 Did some work today after classes – union etc and went over Bobbie’s for a while in eve.

Friday 10 February 1984 Didn’t do much today – shopped in afternoon – went to Coach House for a meal in eve – very nice.

Saturday, 11 February 1984 Rose quite late – did very little today – some work.– Went to Michelle’s party in eve – left quite early.

I seem to recall that The Coach House was one of the posher places in and around Newcastle-Under-Lyme. It doesn’t seem to be there any more, 40 years later. Is it now named The Milehouse, perchance? Someone reading this might know.

“Michelle’s party will be Michelle Epstein’s party. Not sure why we left early but Bobbie was poorly the next day, as the next exciting episode will attest. In that episode you’ll also get the result of that presidential election. Here, by way of a sign off, is the summary slates of the six candidates:

Putting Up The Great Yorkshire Pudding For University of Keele Students’ Union President 1984/85, February 1984

Alan Gorman. “You can call me Al…but please don’t call me Pudding”

Keen to add some spice to the elections, I surreptitiously put my flatmate, Alan Gorman, down for the presidential election under his nickname, “The Great Yorkshire Pudding” (Alan was skinny and from Lancashire).

My behaviour (forging a candidacy) was unbecoming for the chair of election appeals committee, I do now realise.

Alan was really furious when he first found out about it – understandably so. I went out that evening wondering if I had gone too far and permanently messed up a good friendship. When I got back to the flat, Alan had gone to bed but had left a piece of paper on the table.

GYP Supplementary Manifesto Written Draft

I laughed a lot – partly because it was very funny and partly the relief of learning that he had decided to go along with the wheeze. The following two scans are that “supplementary personifesto” as it appeared in its published form. Connoisseurs of my doodles might recognise Schlock in the top right corner of the first page. Connoisseurs of 1980s culture might like to identify the personalities on the second page – no prizes but lots of kudos if you populate the comments section with some answers:

GYP Supplementary Manifesto Side OneGYP Supplementary Manifesto Side Two

The main manifesto is lost in the mists of time; probably just as well. It wasn’t a patch on the above supplementary.  I did also keep a copy of the little “Relayer” messages from that election; see the following couple of pages:

Fricker Pudding Election Relayer Side OneFricker Pudding Election Relayer Side Two

Mercifully, rather than Pudding, the delightful Kate Fricker won that election – she was excellent and working with her was such a pleasure.

Keele Gossip Columnist H Ackgrass is born, Concourse, February 1984

1983/84 was my finals year. I was Chair of Constitutional Committee that year (somewhat press-ganged into running I might add), so I was strangely on the inside of the students’ union politics without really being part of its core.

I thought it would be fun to have an anonymous gossip column, so came up with the idea of H Ackgrass, or “Hackgrass”. Many myths about that column spread in the years following about the column’s antiquity, but I know I made the name up myself. There had been others, such as Molesworth, in earlier years, but this name was new, as was the somewhat visceral nature of the humour. I know the name was subsequently re-used by others. I am flattered.

I knew the Concourse (and Union Committee) lot would want to know who H Ackgrass was and I thought I’d be a prime suspect. Thus I was rather harsh on myself, in this first column and subsequently, in order to try and divert attention. This approach pretty much worked.

I had a spare old portable typewriter, so battered about that I didn’t really use it any more; it was very obvious in its idiosyncratic type, so I thought that using it would add to the mystery and might put people off my scent, as long as I kept the offending machine hidden. Indeed, I know at least one Concourse person sneaked into my flat at one time to check out my (regular) typewriter, only to conclude that Hackgrass couldn’t be me.

Quentin Rubens, the Concourse editor at the time, hardly edited anything out of that first piece. I thought he would tone it down a lot; there were certainly a couple of edgy lines I expected would go. Surprisingly, Quentin did edit out one descriptive phrase I made about myself, “arch lefty”. I don’t know whether that reflected his feelings about my politics or his own sense of what is an insulting term. In later pieces, he got the redline pen out a lot more. Deservedly so in several cases.

Anyway, here is the very first column, both in published form and then its original submission form. My submission copies are clearly photocopies but I know they were originally carbons. I must have made photocopies just before I left Keele and disposed of the carbons.

Ackgrass Published Feb 1984 Page 1 of 2Ackgrass Published Feb 1984 Page 2 of 2Ackgrass Photocopy of Carbon Copy of Original Draft Feb 1984 Page 1 of 2Ackgrass Photocopy of Carbon Copy of Original Draft Feb 1984 Page 2 of 2