John Major Rock, Eventually NewsRevue, Originally 30 January 1992

An early lyric from the period when I was writing for fun and submitting to Spitting Image on the off chance. I seem to recall getting good feedback on this one. I have the correspondence somewhere for Ogblogging in the fullness of time.

This one eventually got a NewsRevue run or two, perhaps late 1992. It worked well in the show.

As I reread this lyric for the first time in decades (in May 2019), I must admit I smiled a few times and even laughed out loud at one or two lines. Although why I suggested at that time that cricket legend Don Bradman might have been dead I simply cannot fathom. He died in 2001.

JOHN MAJOR ROCK

(To the tune of “Crocodile Rock”)

I remember when I was young,
Me and Norma had so much fun;
Holding hands to Johann Strauss,
Watching films of Bambi and Mickey Mouse.
Oh the wild and wicked games we’d play,
We’d knock on doors and run away;
While the other kids were causing an affray,
We were home playing records by Mel Torme – wo

John Major is not a stranger,
To the wrong side of the track;
And here in Lambeth you quickly learn,
What it means to receive a smack.
Hey lordy mama its Friday night,
So Norma counts her pairs of tights,
And I read Wisden late into the night.

Na – nanananana – nanananana – nanananana,
Na – nanananana – nanananana – nanananana.

Well the years went by,
Don Bradman died,
Maggie got the bullet, tho’ I don’t know why;
She had always been so very good to me,
Making me the Chancellor and Foreign Secret’ry.
But I nearly fell through the floor,
When the papers said that I’m a bore;
Which is libel, but I’ve chosen to ignore,
A not inconsiderable case in law – wo

John Major is not a stranger,
To the wrong side of the track;
And here in Lambeth you quickly learn,
How to stab people in the back.
Hey lordy mama its Friday night,
And “Friday Night Is Music Night”,
It’s gone 10:30 when we turn out the light.

Na – nanananana – nanananana – nanananana,
Na – nanananana – nanananana – nanananana.

Below is a video of Elton John singing Crocodile Rock with the lyrics on the screen:

Murmuring Judges by David Hare, Olivier Theatre, 20 January 1992

Two visits to the Olivier Theatre with Bobbie in 48 hours. Just fancy. Must have been an availability thing and both of us wanting to see both plays.

In my log I wrote,

Good, but not as good as I had hoped it would be.

I seem to recall finding the play a bit wordy, a bit worthy and also some of the legal aspects a little unconvincing. I think the feedback from Bobbie’s legal entourage was similar on that last point when we ended up comparing notes.

Here is the Theatricalia entry for this production.

Here is a link to the Wikipedia entry for this play.

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Billington Judges JudgesBillington Judges Judges Sat, Oct 12, 1991 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Coveney’s Observer review:

Coveney Judges JudgesCoveney Judges Judges Sun, Oct 13, 1991 – 56 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui by Bertolt Brecht, Olivier Theatre, 18 January 1992

This was the first of two visits to the Olivier Theatre with Bobbie in the space of 48 hours. Go figure.

The second visit was this one:

We rated Arturo Ui higher than Murmuring Judges.

Very good indeed,

I wrote in my log.

Superb cast, headed by Tony Sher but also with Michael Bryant, Sally Rogers, Peter Wight, Anthony O’Donnell, Karl Johnson, Adrian Scarborough…

…oh my giddy goose, what a cast.

Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry.

“What did those with a more critical eye think of the production?”, I hear you cry.

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Billington on UiBillington on Ui Sat, Aug 10, 1991 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Coveney’s Observer review:

Coveney on UiCoveney on Ui Sun, Aug 11, 1991 – 49 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Norman Lamont, Topical Lyric, 17 January 1992

This is a sardonic song about recession and Norman Lamont, who was Chancellor of the Exchequer at the time.

I wrote this a few months before my NewsRevue era began, so it wasn’t written with that show in mind. It was almost certainly one of my Spitting Image submissions, which led to their editors’ recommendation that I get involved with NewsRevue.

However, several of those earlier that had shelf life (as indeed this song does) found their way into NewsRevue later.

I’m pretty sure This one found its way into NewsRevue in the end.

My more upbeat, slapstick, “Norman the Chancellor” song the following year, when Mr Lamont got his political comeuppance, was an even bigger hit in NewsRevue – click here or below for that one. 

Norman The Chancellor, Topical Lyric, 30 May 1993

Meanwhile, here is the January 1992 sardonic Norman Lamont song:

NORMAN LAMONT

(Sung, preferably in a Scouse accent, to the tune of “Norwegian Wood”)

1st BIT

I once had a job,

And my own house,

And a small car.

Then it all went wrong,

Not what I want,

Norman Lamont.

2nd BIT

My boss called me in and he told me that business was bad.

He said I was fired, and that made him feel rather sad.

3rd BIT

I tried to climb back,

Not one to shirk,

But there’s no work.

My girl left a note,

Sorry to run,

I’m now a nun.

4th BIT

They reclaimed my house and they sold off my car and my fridge.

So I took to meths, now I sleep under Waterloo Bridge.

5th BIT

Now when I awake,

All that I’ve got’s,

This cardboard box.

It’s not very warm,

Not what I want,

Norman Lamont.

Click here or below for a link to the song Norwegian Wood on YouTube.

This is a link to the lyrics and chords for Norwegian Wood.