Maxwell’s Wife, NewsRevue Lyric, 21 June 1992

A nasty lyric, but then Maxwell deserved it. I’m not sure whether or not this one was used. Probably not, or if so only briefly.

It has its moments as a lyric:

MAXWELL’S WIFE

(To the Tune of “Mack the Knife”)

 

VERSE 1

The old shark had pearly teeth dear,

And he acted rich and flash;

A fat check book had Bob Maxwell,

But that fat Czech had no cash.

 

VERSE 2

When the old shark took a dive dear,

Filthy lucre rumours spread;

Old age pensions had Bob Maxwell,

And he dumped them in the red.

 

VERSE 3

Now old Bob’s son name of Kevin,

Tried to save the family;

But the game played wasn’t cricket,

At the Maxwell MCC.

 

VERSE 4

Down in Chelsea, early morning, (bo, bo, bo)

Press and coppers spring to life;

“Piss off bastards, we’re still sleeping”,

Yes, that sounds like, Maxwell’s wife.

 

VERSE 5

Maxwell’s rich wife named Pandora,

Raised his bail, proved her rocks;

Kevin Maxwell took the money,

But did not o-pen the box.

 

VERSE 6

Rupert Murdoch, David Stevens,

Lord Rothermere, Conrad Black;

They’ve all boosted circulation,

Now the Maxwell story’s back.

 

(OPTIONAL INSTRUMENTAL, WILD DANCING, CORNY BUSINESS AND END)

Here is a vid of Louis Armstrong singing Mack the Knife:

…and here are the Mack The Knife lyrics.

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