Picture Tits, NewsRevue Lyric, 22 August 1992

Heck, I was having a quiet weekend – it was the weekend between ossobuco with Janie and our first proper date.

There was a titillating royal story in the news: Sarah Ferguson and John “Johnny” Bryan (subsequently “explained” in this link).

Ironically, for me, just embarking on a relationship with a chiropodist, this was the toe sucking story.

I remember asking Janie soon afterwards whether the toe sucking saga was good for her business.

Janie said it was. Very good for business.

I don’t think this lyric was good for my lyric writing business; I don’t recall it being used, although it does have its moments.

I also tried combining the lyric in a medley with the Princess Diana lyric I wrote a week or so later – click here.

                                                              PICTURE TITS

(To the Tune of “Picture This”)

 

VERSE 1 – NEWSHOUNDS

 

NEWSHOUNDS:All I want is a picture of boobs,

A shot of Fergie, a nipple or two,

All I want is a picture of boobs;

Wo-oh-oh, wo-wo-wo.

 

NEWSHOUNDS:All I want is some photos in the Mirror,

Of Fergie and her financier with ‘er,

All I want is to fill the Mirror,

 

CHORUS 1 – FERGIE AND JOHN BRYAN

 

FERGIE & BRYAN:Picture tits – all over the papers,

Picture tits – and all of our capers;

FERGIE:Done in front of the kids,

I’d end up on the skids,

If it weren’t for my suites at Windsor, Buck House and Balmoral wo-oh-ho;

FERGIE & BRYAN:Picture tits – and our peccadillos,

Picture tits – sucking ones big toes,

Now the Sun is really selling news – oh yeh.

 

VERSE 2 – FERGIE & JOHN BRYAN

 

FERGIE:All I want is financial advice,

JOHN:You raise the finance, I’ll raise the vice,

FERGIE:All I want is some sugar and spice,

Oh-oh -oh,

If you can…..

 

CHORUS 2 – NEWSHOUNDS, FERGIE & JOHN BRYAN

 

NEWSHOUNDS:Picture tits – with lenses and zoom tubes,

Picture tits – Fergie’s final boobs,

She’s got nothing to lose,

Since she jacked in Andrew’s,

Quiet life with his feet up reading Beano with a mug of hot cocoa;

FERGIE:Picture tits – oh my God it’s vital,

Picture tits – I may lose my title,

Johnny Bryan says he’s goanna sue,

He will instruct Carter-Ruck,

If the papers claim that we fuck – yeh.

If you want to see Blondie singing Picture This, click below:

…and/or click this link for the Picture This lyrics.

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