This lyric is shown on my January 1993 “Bowden submission sheet” – click here for link to that artefact.
It hadn’t been used in late 1992 (unsurprising, as the Christmas run tended to keep any December material out until January) so I resubmitted it in early 1993.
I don’t think the song was used, nor on re-reading it do I think it should have been. I cannot recall precisely why it seemed topical to write this song and/or to rhyme “Austin Metro” with “hetero” in Verse Three, but I think someone somewhere was caught doing something sexual with the exhaust of his car.
♬ MY GENITALIA ♬
(To the Tune of “My Generation”)
VERSE 1 – INTRODUCTION OF THE UNFORTUNATE CHARACTER
People try to put them down,
{talking ’bout my genitalia}
Just because they’re small and round;
{talking ’bout my genitalia}
The things I say are always crude,
{talking ’bout my genitalia}
Cos I can never get myself screwed.
{talking ’bout my genitalia}(My genitalia, my genitalia)
VERSE 2 – HE’S ON HIS OWN
Why don’t I just f-f-f-feel myself,
{talking ’bout my masturbation}
My DIY kit on the shelf;
{talking ’bout ejaculation}
The doctors call it sexual failure,
{talking ’bout my gamomania}
Just talking ’bout my genitalia.
{talking ’bout my genitalia}(My genitalia, my genitalia)
VERSE 3 – EXTRA VERSE WHILE THIS STORY IS STILL TOPICAL
People think that I’m not hetero,
{talking ’bout my genitalia}
Because I love my Austin Metro;
{talking ’bout my monomania}
I lust for its boot and regalia,
{talking ’bout my gamomania}
And that exhausts my genitalia.
{talking ’bout my genitalia}(My genitalia, my genitalia)
VERSE 4 – HE’S OFF
Women try to put me down,
{talking ’bout emasculation}
Cos I’m the biggest prick in town;
{talking ’bout exaggeration}
I’ll take a trip out to Australia,
{talking ’bout a grand vacation}
Where all men talk about genitalia.
{talking ’bout my genitalia}(My genitalia, my genitalia)
copyright © Ian Harris 1992