This was probably my most successful NewsRevue song of all. It ran for months; perhaps even years and found its way into several “best of” runs, and some other shows. Ben Murphy recorded it and I seem to recall Jacqui Somerville taking it to German Radio.
But I never saw a penny for it myself, as I assigned the intellectual property rights to Save The Children as soon as I wrote it.
I remember writing it at Janie’s place over new year, while the family (Tony, Phillie and Charlie) were visiting; they were living in Germany at that time. Mark Bowden slotted the song into his January 1993 run – my comments from opening night are in the letter linked here.
Anyway, I am proud of my lyrics (below) and very pleased that they earned Save The Children more than a few quid.
♬ BETTER FACE ♬
(To the Tune of “Heal The World”)
There’s a mug that you see on your TV frequently,
‘Though I look differently I’m Michael Jackson;
It may be a surprise ‘cos you may not recognise,
The new bits that my plastic surgeon tacks on.
I may have a face lift, a nose job or a skin shift,
To have a better face and a different race.
Every year, I’m gonna have a better face,
Both my eyes and my nose will be in a different place;
Now my cheeks need grouting,
And my lips have been fixed pouting,
It’s the strangest face that you’ve ever seen.
The third world’s misery to the music industry,
Is the best chance we have to make a living;
War and famine is sad but it doesn’t seem as bad,
When you’re taking much more than you are giving.
There are people starving but I’m the last one laughing,
I’ll get a better place in the record race.
In the charts, I’m gonna get a better place,
Discs of gold and platinum are added to my case;
‘Though the poor are dying,
I’m not the one who’s crying,
It’s the best chart place that I’ve had for years.
CHORUS 3 – MUSIC SWELLS, ENTER CHORUS
Change the key, and sing at a better pace,
Bring in chorus of alto, contralto and a bass;
‘Though the songs a cliche,
You know that I’ll release a,
Song that demonstrates the space twixt my ears.
A song that demonstrates the space twixt my ears.
written by Ian Harris – copyright 1993 © Save The Children Fund