Þe Chronique Of Primordyall Z/Yen: Þe First Part – Sumer Is Icomen In, Spring 1994

At Binder Hamlyn (BDO Consulting), 20 Old Bailey

My earliest diary note of the events that actually led to Z/Yen are in the week of 28 March 1994, which has a 9:30 call with Michael Mainelli that day and the evening of 30 March booked out “MRM” (that’s Michael) for a Park Inn Chinese meal, at my place, organised at short notice.

It was on 28 March that the rumour broke in the press that Arthur Andersen was in the process of taking over our firm, BDO Binder Hamlyn. Our part of the firm at that time was known as BDO Consulting. 

My memory records a couple of “two bottles of wine” evenings with Michael, but actually I don’t think 30 March was one of those. I think the first “two bottles” evening was a couple of weeks later, after a consultancy team meeting at which it became clear that the so-called “merger” was going ahead and that the consultancy was going with it.

I’m pretty sure that we ate and drank in a place along Craven Road, near to Michael’s place. Spanish, I think, but possibly Italian – I think now Il Gusto.

The date of the “two bottles of Rioja” evening during which the name Z/Yen emerged is lost in the mists of time, but I am guessing late spring and I specifically recall the name emerging towards the end of another Park Inn Chinese meal at my flat. By that time we had colleagues Stuart Otter, Steve Taylor and Kate Carty lined up to join the new venture, together with the elusive John Thompson, who had been a client of Michael’s. No-one was entirely comfortable with the name Z/Yen, but when we challenged everyone (including ourselves) to suggest something better, answer there came none.

So Z/Yen it was.

Letter To Daryl Boot Re NewsRevue, 27 June 1994

Daryl Boot 27 June 1994
News Revue
 
Dear Daryl
 
SONGS

 
A couple of new ones. The only recording I have of Flintstones is a great pastiche in the style of Bruce Springsteen. It’s a shame we don’t have a saxophonist! Hope you like the songs.
 
See you soon.
 
Yours sincerely
 
 
 
 
 
 
Ian Harris
 
 

Letter To Di Botcher Re NewsRevue, 27 June 1994

Di Botcher 27 June 1994
News Revue
 
Dear Di
 
SONGS

 
A couple of rewrites and a couple of new ones. The only recording I have of Flintstones is a great pastiche in the style of Bruce Springsteen. It’s a shame we don’t have a saxophonist! Hope you like the songs.
 
See you soon. Hope all is going well.
 
Yours sincerely
 
 
 
 
 
 
Ian Harris
 
 

It’s Cheap News Week, NewsRevue Lyric, 26 June 1994

I had previously done a lyric to It’s Good News Week on the theme of slow news. Now I was trying one on the theme of cheap news – i.e. a price war between the papers. I’m not sure if this version was used.

_ IT’S CHEAP NEWS WEEK _

(To the Tune of “It’s Good News Week”)

VERSE 1
It’s cheap news week,
Telegraph’s just 30p,
The price still seems too much for me,
It’s such an awful read;
It’s cheap news week,
Times is down to 20p,
I wouldn’t take it if it’s free,
They’ll cut price till they bleed.

MIDDLE EIGHT

Have you read the news?
What has it told?
Media price wars,
Independent’s bound to fold,
(Guardian has caught a cold).

VERSE 2

It’s slow news week,
Papers only talk about,
The price wars that they fought about,
On front page and on back;
It’s piss poor weak,
Customers will soon be thrashed,
When all they’ve got is Murdoch’s trash,
And crap from Conrad Black…
We want our papers back,
So give these shits the sack.

Click here or below for a video of Hedgehoppers Anonymous singing It’s Good News Week – if you click here you can see the lyrics in the information section.

Fatsos, NewsRevue Lyric, 26 June 1994

I’m not sure what to say about this lyric. It isn’t very subtle and I wouldn’t express such sentiments about European leaders today.

_ MEET THE FATSOS _

(To the Tune of “Meet The Flintstones”)

INTRO

Fatsos,
Meet the fatsos,
Of the European family;
Helmut,
And Duhane,
Must be en route for a coronary.

MIDDLE EIGHT

They hate,
Leon Brittan cos he’s rude;
Lubbers,
Sounds like something moist and crude.

OUTRO

All these,
Jerks are fatsos,
So use your blubber blubber veto;
Those fatsos eat – oh,
We feed those big fat heads.

Below is a video with The Flintstones theme including the words on screen.

The Birthday Party by Harold Pinter, Lyttelton Theatre, 25 June 1994

We do like a bit of Pinter. I was especially keen to see this one. I’d never seen the play performed live; this 1994 production was the first London production since the West End production in the 1960s. But I had seen the wonderful 1980s TV version with Pinter himself as Goldberg.

I’d also previously seen excerpts from the play performed live; not least by my own school mates in the late 1970’s when Dan O’Neill was selected for the role of Goldberg ahead of me because he could do a much better Goldberg accent than me. I don’t bear grudges but I do retain a sense of unjust cultural appropriation to this day, not least because I still cannot do a Goldberg-style accent. I played Aston in The Caretaker instead, but I digress.

Here is the Theatricalia entry for the version Janie and I saw in June 1994. My log says we thought it was very good. A young, then little-known Sam Mendes directed it. Bob Peck was Goldberg, Anton Lesser was Stanley. Dora Bryan and Trevor Peacock were Meg and Petey.

Here is a contemporaneous review from Irving Wardle in the Independent in 1994.

Below is the Michael Billington review:

Billington On The Birthday PartyBillington On The Birthday Party Sat, Mar 19, 1994 – 26 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Here is Michael Coveney’s review:

Coveney On the Birthday PartyCoveney On the Birthday Party Sun, Mar 20, 1994 – 85 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

In truth, my memory for this play remains full of the wonderful BBC TV production from the 1980s…

…and Dan O’Neill’s Goldberg at school of course.

Submission To Di Botcher, NewsRevue, 23 June 1994

LIST OF SONGS SUBMITTED AND TAPE TRACK LISTING
 
DI JULY-AUGUST 1994 RUN
 
Dear Di
 
I enclose your starter pack of lyrics and tape for my offerings.  The pack consists of new songs, songs currently in the show and one or two rewrites of older ones etc. If you want me to work on an old chestnut of mine that you might have uncovered in the archive, just let me know.
 
Feel free to call me and let me know if you are short of any subjects or styles and I shall try to oblige.  Also, if any of these need a bit of rewrite then I am happy to change them on request.
 
Good luck and look forward to seeing you soon
 

Beckett, Prescott And Amazing Tony Blair, NewsRevue Lyric, 19 June 1994

More than a year after introducing Tony Blair as a NewsRevue song character (April 1993) – click here for that first version and links to original versions of the song – he became the front runner to lead the Labour party and I was able to revive my “Amazing Tony Blair” song to the tune of Simon Smith and the Amazing Dancing Bear.

I wrote a few 1994 sub-versions, one a little earlier than the one shown below, during the European elections in May 1994, and another after the leadership election, dated 22 July 1994, but the version below from the leadership election I think was the better of the three.

This song ran and ran in NewsRevue. I particularly remember the superb Jonathan Linsley doing a fine Prescott for it, having previously been a fine John Smith.

♬ BECKETT, PRESCOTT AND AMAZING TONY BLAIR ♬

(To the Tune of “Simon Smith And The Amazing Dancing Bear”)

VERSE 1

BECKETT:                 I may campaign tomorrow,

Despite the sorrow, that Labour bear;

Now John Smith is a stiff,

I shall heal the rift, that is bound to flare.

SHORT:                      John Prescott’s impulsive,

BROWN:                    Beckett’s repulsive;

BROWN/BLAIR:      But Gordon Brown and Tony Blair,

Are the Labour Party conference pair,

Despite the fact we are square, we two can lead.

VERSE 2

BECKETT/SHORT:   For Europe Margaret Beckett,

Secured our ticket, in June out there;

BROWN/BLAIR:      But voters say she’s scraggy,

Another Maggie’s, too much to bear;

The Sun says she’s phoney, the press all love Tony;

BECKETT/SHORT:   Oh who would think that Marge and Claire,

Would appeal so well in the public glare,

And Labour voters out there, seem very pleased.

PIANO BIT

(During which individuals speak to the “voters” in the audience and try to upstage each other)

BECKETT:     Please don’t wreck it – vote for Beckett. Labour’s next leader.

BROWN:        I’m not down, so don’t vote for Gordon Brown.

PRESCOTT:   (pianist?) Labour’s best shot, vote for Prescott.

BLAIR:           The press prefer Tony Blur. (Looks displeased as soon as he has said it)

OUTRO

CHORUS:                  Our nearest and dearest, say we’re not careerist;

We won in Europe fair and square, and the leader’s seat is going spare,

BECKETT:                 Choose Beckett,

PRESCOTT:               Prescott,

BROWN:                    Vote,

BLAIR:                       Amazing Tony Blair.

copyright © Ian Harris 1994

In October 1995 I wrote the following update:

SHORT, BECKETT, PRESCOTT AND THE AMAZING TONY BLAIRE
(To the Tune of “Simon Smith And The Amazing Dancing Bear”)

VERSE 1

BLAIRE: I may campaign tomorrow, if I can borrow some more hot air;
Oh I’ll contend in style with my sincere smile cos I’m Tony Blaire.
PRESCOTT: He’s Christian and zealous,
BLAIRE: Prescott’s just jealous;
SHORT/BECKETT: Oh who’d have thought that Tony Blaire,
Would be so accepted everywhere,
Despite his suits and big hair, we’re in the lead.

VERSE 2

BECKETT: At conference Margaret Beckett…….
SHORT: She topped the ticket as Labour’s mare;
PRESCOTT: But voters think she’s scraggy,
Another Maggie’s, too much to bear;
BLAIRE: The others are phoney, the press all love Tony;
BECKETT/SHORT: Oh who’d have thought that Tony Blaire,
Would appeal to women more than Claire,
PRESCOTT: The Socialists left out there aren’t very pleased.

PIANO BIT

BECKETT: Vote for Labour, the party that believes in….um….um……um……John?
PRESCOTT: If you’re finally ready for a genuine, truly Socialist Government……… leave the country…I mean vote Labour….Claire?
SHORT: We have policies that the people of Britain really want. Let me give you an example…..um…..um…….Tony?
BLAIRE: Vote for me. God is on my side.

OUTRO

PRESCOTT:: He thinks “love thy neighbour” is Clause 4 of Labour,
BLAIRE: Our principles are just hot air, but we’ll get the votes so we don’t care;
SHORT: Short,
BECKETT: Beckett,
PRESCOTT: Prescott,
BLAIRE: and the Amazing Tony Blaire.

And finally, in March 1996, the following one:

SHORT, BECKETT, PRESCOTT AND THE AMAZING TONY BLAIRE
(To the Tune of “Simon Smith And The Amazing Dancing Bear”)

VERSE 1

BLAIRE: I may campaign tomorrow, if I can borrow some more hot air;
Oh I’ll contend in style with my sincere smile cos I’m Tony Blaire.
PRESCOTT: He’s Christian and zealous,
BLAIRE: Prescott’s just jealous;
SHORT/BECKETT: Oh who’d have thought that Tony Blaire,
Would be so accepted everywhere,
Despite his suits and big hair, we’re in the lead.

VERSE 2

BECKETT: At conference Margaret Beckett…….
SHORT: Could top the ticket as Labour’s mare;
PRESCOTT: But voters think she’s scraggy,
Another Maggie’s, too much to bear;
BLAIRE: The others are phoney, the people love Tony;
BECKETT/SHORT: Oh who’d have thought that Tony Blaire,
Would appeal to women more than Claire,
PRESCOTT: But Socialists left out there aren’t very pleased.

PIANO BIT

BECKETT: Vote for Labour, the party that believes in….um….um……um……John?
PRESCOTT: If you’re finally ready for a genuine, truly Socialist Government……… leave the country…I mean vote Labour….Claire?
SHORT: We have policies that the people of Britain really want. Let me give you an example…..um…..um…….Tony?
BLAIRE: Vote for me. God is on my side.

OUTRO

PRESCOTT:: He thinks “love thy neighbour” is Clause 4 of Labour,
BLAIRE: Our principles are just hot air, but we’ll get the votes so we don’t care;
SHORT: Short,
BECKETT: Beckett,
PRESCOTT: Prescott,
BLAIRE: and the Amazing Tony Blaire.

My First Attempt At Cataloguing My Lyrics And A Letter To Daryl Boot Re NewsRevue, 14 June 1994

The letter below refers to the original version of my log or song catalogue. I had forgotten that I originally produced it, with a harrumph, for Daryl Boot, at his request.

Now, I realise, I am grateful to Daryl for kicking off that process of logging the materials, as it has helped me no end with Ogblogging the body of work that is my lyrics and stuff.

Here’s a link to that original version of the catalogue – it was irregularly updated for about three further years.

Daryl Boot 14 June 1994
News Revue
 
 
Dear Daryl
 
I DUNNO – THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU – ETC
 
Humph, I dunno, the things I do for you.
 
See you Thursday.
 
 
Yours sincerely
 
 
 
 
 
 
Ian Harris
 
enc

Bowl Lara A Yorker, NewsRevue Lyric, 13 June 1994

I wrote little about cricket for NewsRevue, but felt that Brian Lara’s record-breaking 501 not out for Warwickshire against Durham needed to be celebrated in song.

Not one of my best. But it has its moments.

_ BOWL LARA A YORKER _

(To the Tune of “Tell Laura I Love Her”)

VERSE 1

Young Brian Lara’s a batsman,
Who’s wanting to score record runs;
Fours,
Sixes,
And no-one stops him scoring tons.
The bowlers are so frustrated,
They cannot get Brian Lara out;
They’re knocked away, round the park all day,
And this is what those bowlers shout.

CHORUS 1

{boom boom boom bomm}
Bowl Lara a yorker,
{boom boom boom bomm}
Bowl Lara a goog-l-ie,
{boom boom boom bomm}
Pick stitches off the seam,
It’s our only chance to bowl out his team.

VERSE 2

But back in his native West Indies,
They wanted young Brian in Trinidad;
His girlfriend moaned, “he’ll not come home”,
Although that Sobers spinner had.

CHORUS 2

{boom boom boom bomm}
Is Lara a lover?
{boom boom boom bomm}
Will Lara just leave her?
{boom boom boom bomm}
Despite his record cache,
He still can’t score off his maiden match.
({boom boom boom bomm} Tell Lara to lob her, tell Lara to feel her….)

Below is a video of Ricky Valance singing Tell Laura I Love Her, with lyrics on the screen.