Mike-Ill, NewsRevue Lyric, 12 October 1994

I don’t think this one was used. I wasn’t at my funniest that autumn – I was taking the job of starting up Z/Yen too seriously, probably.

Michael Howard, then Home Secretary, deserved the treatment, though.

MIKE-ILL
(To the Tune of “My Girl”)

VERSE 1 – VILLAIN

I’ve got lobster in a crowded gaol,
When it’s cold outside I still crap in a pail;

CHORUS 1 – STILL WITH THE VILLAIN

I guess you’d say,
Where do crooks behave this way?
Whitemore,
Talking ’bout Whitemore, Whitemore.

VERSE 2 – MICHAEL HOWARD

I’ve got so much money the thieves envy me,
I’ve got privilege aplenty, cos I’m home secretary;

CHORUS 2 – MICHAEL HOWARD

I guess peep-ill,
Think I’m tough on crimin-ills,
Mike-ill,
Diction’s strange, Mike-ill, Mike-ill.

VERSE 3 – TERRORISTS

We don’t need no bar files baked in a cake,
We’ve got Semtex, guns and fittings for bombs that we make;

CHORUS 3

We guess your bloke’s,
Law and order’s Grade A joke,
Michael,
Howard’s crap, Michael, Michael.

Here is The Temptations singing My Girl, with lyrics on the screen:

 

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