I don’t think I was at my very best as a lyricist in the opening overs of 1995. I think my mind was more on “baby Z/Yen” than on humour. A few hits but more misses, just for a few months.
This is one of the misses from that period. I don’t think it got used. I think I was very keen to do something to the tune of The Peanut Vendor. That aspect I still applaud. But the piece almost feels unfinished to me – like some fragments I can still find on my old jotters that never got past the “decent idea” or “good line or two” stage.
THE PEANUT FARMER
(To the Tune of “The Peanut Vendor”)
Jimmy Carter, he’s such a brick,
Jimmy Carter, he’s old and thick,
If you languish in Korea or Port-au-Prince,
Meet the fella with a mouth full of foot prints;
One day he’s out in Bosnia,
Next day with strike torn US baseball stars;
So if he swings a Balkan compromise,
Will they give him a Nobel Peaceful Prize?
But Jimmy would have gone there anyway,
On a low price Saga Holiday;
The peace talks saved him the fare.
Bill Clinton ought to learn from Carter’s aid,
And just lie low for at least a decade,
Or maybe two to be fair.
If Bill lies low he’ll do no harm,
Should leave his nuts on Jimmy’s peanut farm.
Jimmy’s revered, an autumn flower,
But he was a failure when in power.
Here’s the tune of The Peanut Vendor, by Alvin “Snake Eyes” Tyler. It’s an instrumental really, despite the “jungle fresh” lyric stuck in the heads of all of us who are of a certain age.