Clause Four, NewsRevue Lyric, 10 January 1995

I marked this one copyright 1994/1995, so it must have been more or less complete on my jotter over Christmas.

Not a very Socialist principle, that, copyright; owning the means of theatrical production and intellectual property exchange.

The story ran and ran; I also think this lyric had a good long stint in several runs.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO BREAK OUR TIES WITH CLAUSE FOUR?
(To the Tune of “What Do You Want To Make Those Eyes At Me For?”)
VERSE 1 – LEFTIES (PROBABLY WITH SKINNERITE NORTHERN ACCENTS)

(You’ll have to supply most of the do-wops yourselves, but here’s some to get you going)
Do-wop be-do-be-do-be, do-wop be-do-be-do-be, do-wop be-do-be-do-be do:

Why do you want to make those jibes at Clause Four,
When you don’t know what it says?
It makes us mad,
It makes us sad,
To think of common ownership that we’ve never had.

You’re fooling yourself, young Tony,
Oh, you’ll lead us wrong and then you’ll go away;
We’ll shake us fist,
You’re never a Socialist,
You’re more, we insist,
Conservative Unionist.

So why do you want to break our ties with Clause Four,
When you don’t know what it says?

VERSE 2 – BLAIR AND HIS ATTENDANT CRONIES

Do-wop be-do-be-do-be, do-wop be-do-be-do-be, (key change) do-wop be-do-be-do-be do:
Why do you have to vocalise on Clause Four,
When we don’t know what it says?
It makes teeth grate,
It’s out of date,
It makes me think of martyrs at the Tollpuddle gate.

We’ll never be the common owners,
Of the methods of production and exchange,
So please don’t fight,
You’re sounding off Trotskyite;
And don’t go and write,
A Socialist Composite.

But why do you want to keep those ties with Clause Four,
When we don’t mean what it says (da-da-dum)
We don’t mean (dum-da-dum-da-dum) what it says,
Do-wop be-do-be-do-be, do-wop be-do-be-do-be, do-wop be-do-be-do-be do
No way!!

It might remind you of this Emile Ford and The Checkmates classic:

You can click here to read the Emile Ford lyrics.

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