OJ’s Girl, NewsRevue Lyric, 28 January 1995

Like the story upon which the lyric is based, this ran and ran all year, with a few tweaked versions along the way. One of my most successful NewsRevue lyrics.

Here is the first (January) version of this lyric:

OJ’S GIRL
(To the Tune of “Bobby’s Girl”)

VERSE 1

VOICE OVER: (You’re not alive anymore, you’re not alive anymore)
GIRL: When people ask of me,
What would you do differently,
If you weren’t a stiff anymore;
VOICE OVER: (You’re not alive anymore)
GIRL: I know just what to say,
I answer right away,
I’d keep away from that vicious boor.

CHORUS 1

GIRL: I wouldn’t be OJ’s girl,
I wouldn’t be OJ’s girl,
That’s a pretty dangerous thing to be;
Cos if you are OJ’s girl,
If you are OJ’s girl,
You’re a victim of brutality.

VERSE 2

LAWYER: When people ask of me,
How will you get wealthy;
Now you’re not a beak anymore
VOICE OVER: (You’re not a beak anymore)
LAWYER: I know just what to be,
To make huge legal fees,
There’s just one case that I’m rooting for.

CHORUS 2

LAWYER: I wanna get OJ’s brief,
I wanna get OJ’s brief,
That’s the most important thing to me;
And if I get OJ off,
If I get OJ off,
What a heap of cash my fees will be;

{LAWYER: What a heap of cash my fees will be.}
{GIRL: What a heap of shit that guy must be.}
{Jointly }

Here’s the Marcie Blane original, with lyrics:

Here’s a longer version I put together in April 1995 – I think most casts persevered mostly with the January version at that time:

OJ’S GIRL – VERSION TWO: UPDATE AND REMIX
(To the Tune of “Bobby’s Girl”)

VERSE 1 – THE VICTIM

VOICE OVER: (You’re not alive anymore, you’re not alive anymore)
GIRL: When people ask of me, what would you do differently,
If you weren’t a stiff anymore;
VOICE OVER: (You’re not alive anymore)
GIRL: I know just what to say, I answer right away,
I’d keep away from that vicious boor.

GIRL: I wouldn’t be OJ’s girl, I wouldn’t be OJ’s girl,
That’s a pretty dangerous thing to be;
Cos if you are OJ’s girl, if you are OJ’s girl,
You’re a victim of brutality.

VERSE 2 – THE DEFENCE LAWYER

LAWYER 1: When people ask of you, what would you like to do;
Now you’re on TV every day.
VOICE OVER: (You’re on TV every day)
LAWYER 2: I’ll act flamboyantly, and make huge legal fees,
If this one case I can swing my way.

LAWYER 2: I wanna get OJ off, I wanna get OJ off,
That’s the most important thing to me;
And if I get OJ off, if I get OJ off,
What a heap of cash my fees will be;
{LAWYER 1: What a heap of cash his fees will be.}
{GIRL: What a heap of shit that guy must be.}
{Jointly }

OPTIONAL EXTRA VERSE – THE DUMB CRIMINOLOGIST

CRIMINOLOGIST: When people ask of me, how will you make a fee,
Now you’re not a criminologist any more;
VOICE OVER: (You’re not a criminologist any more)
CRIMINOLOGIST: I know just what to do, to dump me in the poo,
There’s just one trick that I have in store.

CRIMINOLOGIST: I wanna stitch OJ up, I wanna stitch OJ up,
That’s the most important thing to me,
And if I stitch OJ up, if I stitch OJ up,
What a twit I’ll look like on TV.
ALL: What a witness he turned out to be,
Now that OJ may get off scott free!!

And finally, here is the third version from November that year, which I think extended the lyric’s life a while longer:

OJ’S GIRL – POST TRIAL REMIX
(To the Tune of “Bobby’s Girl”)

VERSE 1

VOICE OVER: (You’re not alive anymore, you’re not alive anymore)
GIRL: When people ask of me,
What would you do differently,
If you weren’t a stiff anymore;
VOICE OVER: (You’re not alive anymore)
GIRL: I know just what to say,
I answer right away,
I’d keep away from that vicious boor.

CHORUS 1

GIRL: I wouldn’t be OJ’s girl,
I wouldn’t be OJ’s girl,
That’s a pretty dangerous thing to be;
Cos if you are OJ’s girl,
If you are OJ’s girl,
You’re a victim of brutality.

VERSE 2

LAWYER: When people asked of me,
How will you get wealthy;
If your client clearly broke the law?
VOICE OVER: (Allegedly broke the law)
LAWYER: I knew just what to be,
To make huge legal fees,
There was one case that I rooted for.

CHORUS 2

LAWYER: I went and got OJ’s brief,
I went and got OJ’s brief,
That’s the most important thing to me;
And when I got OJ off,
When I got OJ off,
What a heap of cash I made in fees;

{LAWYER: What a heap of cash I made in fees.}
{GIRL: What a heap of shit that guy must be.}
{Jointly }

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