NewsRevue Tonight, NewsRevue Lyric, 26 July 1995

By gosh this one ran and ran. I updated the lyric later in the year for the Xmas Special (see below the YouTube) and casts themselves tweaked the lyrics as they went along, of course.

Here’s a link to  three more subsequent versions.

Perennially useable with just a few tweaks…

NEWS REVUE TONIGHT
(To the Tune of “Comedy Tonight”)
VERSE 1

MAJOR: Someone familiar,
PAISLEY: Someone peculiar,
GIRLS: Wierdos from everywhere at News Revue tonight;
BLOKES: Lee Clegg’s appealing,
GIRLS: Aitken’s appalling,
ALL: No pardons anywhere at News Review tonight.

MIDDLE EIGHT 1

GIRLS: Nothing that brings share options down,
BLOKES: Bring on Ken Clarke in place of the clowns
GIRLS: Old exploitations,
BLOKES: New corporations,
ALL: Something to make the boss contrite;

CLIMAX 1

ALL: Barbican tomorrow,
News Revue tonight.

VERSE 2

GIRLS: Naff social diaries,
BLOKES: The Scott enquiry,
ALL: Sleaze factor everywhere at News Revue tonight;
BLOKES: Serbs’ revolution,
GIRLS: Scots’ devolution,
ALL: Side splitting everywhere at News Revue tonight.

MIDDLE EIGHT 2

GIRLS: Nothing with French nuclear tests,
BLOKES: Show us Paul Gascoigne’s Liz Hurly breasts.
GIRLS: News that reflects life,
BLOKES: Bill Clinton’s sex life,
ALL: Satire that puts the world to right;

CLIMAX 2

ALL: Maida Vale tomorrow,
News Revue, News Revue, News Revue, News Revue, News Revue..Tonight!!

Below is a YouTube of Comedy Tonight – or a link to lyrics here:

Below is my Xmas Special lyric, dated 30 November 1995:

NEWS REVUE TONIGHT – XMAS SPECIAL VERSION
(To the Tune of “Comedy Tonight”)
VERSE 1

MAJOR: Someone familiar,
PAISLEY: Someone peculiar,
GIRLS: Wierdos from everywhere at News Revue tonight;
BLOKES: Tax cuts appealing,
GIRLS: Budget’s appaulling,
ALL: Christmas is coming here at News Review tonight.

MIDDLE EIGHT 1

GIRLS: Nothing that brings share options down,
BLOKES: Bring on Ken Clarke in place of the clowns
GIRLS: Old exploitations,
BLOKES: New corporations,
ALL: Something to make the boss contrite;

CLIMAX 1

ALL: Barbican tomorrow,
News Revue tonight.

VERSE 2

GIRLS: Di’s social diaries,
BLOKES: The Scott enquiry,
ALL: Sleaze factor everywhere at News Revue tonight;
BLOKES: Serbs’ revolution,
GIRLS: Scots’ devolution,
ALL: Side splitting everywhere at News Revue tonight.

MIDDLE EIGHT 2

GIRLS: Nothing with French nuclear tests,
BLOKES: Show us exploding silicon breasts.
GIRLS: News that reflects life,
BLOKES: Bill Clinton’s sex life,
ALL: Satire that puts the world to right;

CLIMAX 2

ALL: Cold turkey tomorrow,
News Revue, News Revue, News Revue, News Revue, News Revue..Tonight!!