Three Steps To Records, NewsRevue Lyric, 8 August 1995

Celebrating a Brit, Jonathan Edwards, winning gold in the triple jump…or something. (I added an E to Edwards name back then, much like my extra E for Tony Blair).

(To the Tune of “Three Steps to Heaven”)

[You’ll have to supply all the do wap waps yourselves, I’m afraid]


Now there are three steps to records,
Jonathan Edwardes has seen;
Cos sport is not much fun,
Unless you’re number one,
Just follow steps one two and three.


Firstly, you choose a sport unlikely,
Three legged race or egg and spoon,
Don’t be put off if it’s unsightly;
Cos then you might win the world soon.


Now there’s only three steps to stardom,
If you trust the hype that they pump,
You’d think this sport we’ve won,
Was the highest, fastest one,
Instead of the hop skip and jump.


Step one you hop and hold your vitals,
Step two you skip like you are bent;
Step three you jump for the world title,
But only Britain has watched the event.

Here is Eddie Cochran singing Three Steps To Heaven – if you load YouTube fully you can read the lyrics in the first comment:

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