Louis Farrakhan-Can, NewsRevue Lyric, 20 October 1995

Louis Farrakhan, somewhat controversially, visited the UK in the autumn of 1995.

I wrote a song and dance to accompany this news story. Several performers told me that it was extremely challenging to perform. But perform it they did and it was truly wonderful to see. Far better as a spectacle than as a piece of writing, but sadly only the writing survives.

Still, the writing, along with your imagination, should be good enough; this is one of my best comedy pieces, in my humble opinion.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN-CAN
(To the Tune of “The Can-Can”)

VERSE 1

Mr Louis Farrakhan is from The Nation of Islam,
He’s not calm, sounds alarm and cannot be described as charming;
Permanently angry and his standards set you up to fail,
Lest you are by chance a Muslim who is straight and black and male.

What a bigot, (that remark is not PC),
He’s a fat git (not his fault that he’s portly);
What’s a faggot? (ball of meat in rich gravy),
He does rabbit on and on and on and on and on and on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnn….

CHORUS 1

(That damned) Louis Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan, (he is a loony)
Farrakhan, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan, that’s Farrakhan;
(He’s) non-Jewish and intensely shrewish with invective poo-ish as a pan (that’s full of sewage)
He’s the man, Louis Farrakhan-can, who is one to ban-ban soon, or else he’ll slander you.

VERSE 2

Mr Louis Farrakhan his gob is totally massive,
He makes Ian Paisley come across as calm and wholly passive
Rants and raves excessively, he don’t like homosexuals,
Sensual fe-ma-les, liberals, Israel’s, sensible victuals, Papal bulls, all he ever talks is ballssss…..
CHORUS 2

(That damned) Louis Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan, (he is a loony)
Farrakhan, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan-can, loony Farrakhan;

OUTRO COMMENCES

He is a loony and his name is Farrakhan,
These lines repeat but do not always seem to scan.
So let us rant and rave excessively like Louis Farrakhan,
And pack as many words per second as the human larynx can.

CODA

His name is Louis Farrakhan, he is a loony Farrakhan;
Thank God, it’s the coda
Cos he is, he is THE END!!!!!!!

The video below (with far more people than NewsRevue’s cast of four) will give you some idea about the tune (the main theme and coda) and some of the choreography involved. I recall one NewsRevue cast forming some sort of a human pyramid…

The following French TV version, which you can see on YouTube, has some of the more extreme dance moves:

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