Greenpeace, NewsRevue Lyric, Probably Unused, 26 November 1995

This one must be a slightly tinkered version of one I submitted in October. I don’t think it was ever used. Presumably Greenpeace were trying to stop nuclear tests at that time. A few good puns in there…

…and I can play Greensleeves on my baroq-ulele – I might give this one a go now.

(To the Tune of “Greensleeves”)

As I was watching the forests fail,
And collecting water up in my pail;
I thought I’d save the Bikini Whale,
So I signed up a contract with Greenpeace.


Greenpeace is an Irish cause,
Cos they said “Muroa Atoll, Atoll”,
Although I had never sailed before,
I took charge of a boat name of Greenpeace.


As I was sailing the southern seas,
A frogman got on beside of me,
He said “zis vessel aaass now been seized”,
And he made the sea boil round the Greenpeace.


Greenpeace were a mite upset,
Cos I lost their boat in his fishing net,
I’m cold and scared and I’m soaking wet,
And don’t know why I’ve now got these green sleeves.


Then Greenpeace took me to task in spite,
And their weird tribunals went on all night,
If I had wanted a frigging fight,
I’d have signed for the French Foreign Legion.
(Shows arm) I’ve got a French foreign lesion on this arm and it’s getting bigger.


Greenpeace, I’ve now made my mark,
And my heads both glow when I’m in the dark;
I pee for laser shows in the park,
Which is why my nickname now is Green Piss.

Here is a version of Greensleeves with some Tudor-sounding lyrics:

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