Paisley and Adams, Topical Lyric, 18 June 1996

This is a sour comedy song really, about Northern Ireland politics.  But in 1996 peace seemed potentially within striking distance and yet illusive.  This did OK in NewsRevue, if I remember correctly, but not as well as others on the subject.

The tune is Father and Son by Cat Stevens – click here or below for a YouTube link with that song and its original lyrics.

Was it John Cowan who wrote a great “Addams Family” parody for this subject?  I remember something by John Random about the Orangemen marching that almost had me falling off my chair with laughter.

Still, this one of mine isn’t bad:

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♬ PAISLEY AND ADAMS (To the Tune of “Father & Son”) ♬

VERSE 1 – THE REVEREND DOCTOR IAN PAISLEY (BELLOWING)

It’s not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy;
You’ve got bombs, that’s your fault,
There’s so much we’ve had to go through;
Find a girl, live in peace,
Burn in hell if she’s a Catholic;
Look at me, I am mad,
But I’m happy!!!

VERSE 2 – GERRY ADAMS (MUCH CALMER)

I was once like you are now,
And I know that it’s not easy,
To make peace when there’s still some bombs going off;
So take your time, think a lot,
Think of Paddy Mayhew’s snot;
That prick will still be here tomorrow,
Though your legs may not.

VERSE 3 – BOTH

PAISLEY: (still bellowing) How can I try to explain,
What I’d do to Gerry and Sinn Fein,
It’s always been the same, with these Tories;
From the moment I could shout,

ADAMS: I was ordered to listen,
IRA, now I know,
That my peace was blown away;
I know, the peace is blown.

I wrote an update 22 July 1997 which I think revived this one for a while:

PAISLEY AND ADAMS 1997 VERSION
(To the Tune of “Father & Son”)

 

VERSE 1 – THE REVEREND DOCTOR IAN PAISLEY (BELLOWING)

It’s not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy;
You’ve got bombs, that’s your fault,
There’s so much we’ve had to go through;
Find a girl, live in peace,
Burn in hell if she’s a Catholic;
Look at me, I am mad,
But I’m happy!!!

VERSE 2 – GERRY ADAMS (MUCH CALMER)

I was once like you are now,
And I know that it’s not easy,
To make peace when there’s still some bombs going off;
So take your time, think a lot,
Think of Maureen Mowlem’s twat;
That bitch will still be here tomorrow,
Though your legs may not.

VERSE 3 – BOTH

PAISLEY: (still bellowing) How can I try to explain,
What I’d do to Gerry and Sinn Fein,
It’s always been the same, since those Tories;
From the moment I could shout,

ADAMS: I was ordered to listen,
IRA, now I know,
That my peace will blow away;

BOTH We know, the peace is blown.

 

Ode To Eurosceptics, Topical Lyric, 18 June 1996

I think this quickie song worked well as a companion piece to sketches about Euroscepticism in NewsRevue back in 1996.  The cast of idiots might have changed, but writing now nearly 20 years later (December 2015) and this subject is pretty high on the Tory agenda and indeed the national agenda with a referendum promised.

Here is a link to the words of “Ode To Joy”, both in German and English.

Click the link here or below to a YouTube of the tune, Ode To Joy, from the last movement of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.

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♬ ODE TO EUROSCEPTICS (To the Tune of “Ode To Joy”) ♬

CHORUS – MP’s

ALL: At Westminster in the commons,
Tossed out of the cabinet;
Wasting power with John Major,
Seen our chance of grabbing it.
BLOKES: We’re both Normans,
GIRL 1: Teresa Gorman,
GIRL 2: Bill Cash without his testicles;
ALL: (So) we shall beef all through the summer,
We are Eurosceptical.

ALL: Storm the polls with,
Old Jimmy Goldsmith;
Tell Major where to stick his whips;
(We’ll) bore you shitless ’til next Christmas,
We are Euroscepticists.

Letter To Ben Murphy, 17 June 1996

Not sure what I sent Ben at that time, but once I get round to upping the stuff I was writing around about that time…it will have been much of that stuff.

Ben Murphy                                                 17 June 1996
(Newquay address redacted)
Dear Ben

THAT TAPE

Good to speak with you yesterday. I feel very remiss having not sent you any gear for quite a while. I enclose the ones you asked for plus some stuff that is currently in News Revue or has been in very recently (I realise that I’ve actually had quite a lot in the show lately).

Hope this helps. Let me know if you need anything else.

Cheers.

Yours sincerely

Ian Harris (Z/Ian)
Enc.

The Designated Mourner, Wallace Shawn, Cottesloe Theatre, 1 June 1996

What an amazing piece of theatre this was.  The late great Mike Nichols, better known as a director of course, acted brilliantly, with Miranda Richardson and David de Keyser, all wonderful.

David Hare, better known as a playwright but also a talented director, did a grand job with the piece.

Wallace Shawn, perhaps better known as an actor than as a playwright, although also a very talented playwright, wrote it.  Not his best known; indeed possibly not his best piece, but, an excellent play.

Despite all that role rotation, it came off superbly well for us.

Janie and I recognised the unmistakable back of Wallace Shawn’s head just in front of us that night.  A few years later, we chatted with Wallace Shawn at the Almeida when he turned up to see Miranda Richardson in Aunt Dan and Lemon; he waxed lyrical about how wonderful he thinks she is, seemed genuinely self-effacing about his writing and genuinely delighted that we had been inspired to seek out his plays by seeing this piece and of course My Dinner With Andre, one of my favourite films ever.

Wikipedia explains the plot – click here.

Bit early in the life of the web for on-line reviews, but I found this rather informative thing – click here.