Alexander Lebed’s Name, NewsRevue Lyric, 27 August 1996

Was Alexander Lebed that big news in 1996? Clearly I thought so.

I really like this lyric.

ALEXANDER LEBED’S NAME
(To the Tune of “Alexander’s Ragtime Band”)
CHORUS 1

Come on and hear, come on and hear,
Alexander Lyebed’s name;
Come on and hear, come on and hear,
Why oh why his name has changed.

MIDDLE EIGHT

ITN still say “Lebed”,
On the Beeb they say “Lyebed”,
Sky News just has the Smurfs and octuplets instead;
This man’s a tough guy who can’t stand,
That Chechen land.

CHORUS 2

Come on along, come on along,
Watch him take the military;
Back to the land, back to the land,
Where the capital’s Grozny.

OUTRO

And if you want to read that War and Peace book,
In a blood bath;
Come on and see, come on and see,
Alexander Lyebed
(Betcha Yeltsin’s long dead)
Alexander Lyebed’s ta-a-ank (bom bom)
Yes, we said tank (bom).

Here’s a YouTube of Louis Armstrong singing Alexander’s Ragtime Band:

…and here’s a link to those Alexander lyrics too.

Submission To Chris Alderton, NewsRevue, 16 August 1996

Submission…Amipro tables don’t convert…you get the picture:

Chris Alderton
News Revue

LIST OF SONGS SUBMITTED AND TAPE TRACK LISTING
AUGUST – SEPTEMBER 1996 RUN

Dear Chris

Welcome to News Revue!! This starter pack consists of my latest songs plus some older ones which have longevity or are still topical. Please call me and let me know if you are short of any subjects or styles and I shall try to oblige. If any of the enclosed need a bit of rewrite then I am happy to change them on request.

Good luck and I look forward to meeting you soon.

Song Title / Original Title/ Artist on Tape

Approx.. No. of weeks performed 7+ 4-6 1-3 New

side 1

eight babies / two ladies / caberet: New

the netanyahu chorus / hallelujah chorus / handel: 4-6

paisley and adams / father and son / cat stevens: 4-6

john major just cares for / my baby just cares for me / nina simone: New

tony blair / gloria / vivaldi: New

solicitors are doing it for their fees / solicitors are doing it / eurythmics & aretha: New

when i see an orangeman smile / when i see an elephant fly / dumbo: New

strike me a letter / the letter / boxtops: New

 

Eight Babies, NewsRevue Lyric, 16 August 1996

I don’t remember all the details of this news item but I think the lyric provides plenty of clues. Here is a link to the news item at the time.

I think this one did well in the show, but only briefly. The publicity-seeking, octuplet-carrying mother sadly lost all the babies, which rather put a dampener on the story as a source of comedy.

EIGHT BABIES
(To the Tune of “Two Ladies”)

A song for pregnant woman (PW), other woman (OW) and rogue father (RF). Brummy accents would be nice but aren’t compulsory

VERSE 1 – PREGNANT WOMAN AND (ROGUE FATHER)

Biddly-diddly-de, biddly-diddley-de, biddly biddly biddly biddly de;
Diddly-di-de-de (eight babies),
Diddly-di-de-de (eight babies),
Diddly-di-de-de (and I’m the only man here);
Diddly-di-de-de (she crackers),
Diddly-di-de-de (I’m knackered),
Diddly-di-de-de (there’s eight for one).

VERSE 2 – ROGUE FATHER AND (PREGNANT WOMAN)

Diddly-di-de-de (eight papers),
Diddly-di-de-de (eight papers),
Diddly-di-de-de (but only one exclusive);
Diddly-di-de-de (Max Clifford),
Diddly-di-de-de (fat cheques for),
Diddly-di-de-de (News of the World).

MIDDLE EIGHT – ALL

PW: I’m Mandy Allwood,
OW: I’m the one he’ll wed,
RF: I’m taking hormones to serve them both in bed;
ALL: We’ve one thing in common with publicity;
PW: The fee, OW: The fee, RF: The fee.

VERSE 3 – ALL

Diddly-di-de-de (OW: two ladies),
Diddly-di-de-de (PW: two ladies),
Diddly-di-de-de (RF: and I get all the bad press);
Diddly-di-de-de (OW: two timer),
Diddly-di-de-de (PW: eight timer),
Diddly-di-de-de (RF: they’re up the duff).

OUTRO

PW: Are you going to help me to change all those nappies then, Paul.
RF: I thought Max Clifford said he’d do that for me.
OW: He never, he just said he could take all the shit off your hands.
BLACKOUT

Here is Two Ladies from the movie Cabaret:

Here is a link to the Two Ladies lyrics.