Dumbo: seriously cool…and honest
Dumbo The Suzuki Jimny is an occasional writer, here on Ogblog and also at King Cricket. Dumbo’s writings are more widely read than those of most automobiles. Dumbo only ever refers to me as Ged and to Janie as Daisy. Why Dumbo has chosen to write a “review of the year” public message is a mystery, but 2020 was a strange year in so many ways.
2020 started badly for me. I acquired a squeak that would not go away. It was incredibly loud and hugely embarrassing – heads would turn in the street at the sound of me coming and going.
A huge team at my car hospital struggled to get to the bottom of it. Ged and Daisy started dropping hints about my possible retirement. It got as bad as that.
Eventually, just before lockdown, thank goodness Derek, Colin, & Marlon performed a pioneering operation on my viscera, which solved my problem.
Just as well I got better in mid March, because within a few weeks I was being called upon to do voluntary work.
In theory I was on call for NHS Volunteer Responders from early in the pandemic, but no gigs were coming through at first. So Ged and Daisy signed us up to do FoodCycle gigs once or twice a week, which we have continued to do throughout the pandemic.
My copious rear (as Ged describes it) comes in pretty handy, especially for the FoodCycle gigs.
It wasn’t long before the NHS Volunteer Responder gigs started to come through as well. That and FoodCycle kept us really busy through spring, summer and into the autumn.
Just occasionally, it got a bit much; like the time the NHS Volunteer Responder app went into overdrive…
…and the time Daisy inadvertently switched on the voice recognition for the FoodCycle Circuit Teams app and mentioned Madagascar…
Ged was busy with work the last few weeks of the year, so we did a bit less volunteering in the run up to Christmas, but during that time the pandemic got a lot worse again and the need out there started to rocket up, so we started NHS Volunteer Responding again on Christmas Day and have done lots of gigs since.
My proudest moment of the year was just a few days ago, when Ged and I went to the Co-op on Hanger Hill to get some shopping for a person who is having to isolate. (There seem to be a lot of those at the moment.)
Three young fellas from the Tesla Show Room & Shop around the corner came out of the Co-op just before Ged came out with the shopping. The young fellas stopped to admire me and one of them said, “I think these cars are pretty cool”. Ged overheard him and said, “seriously cool, not just pretty cool”.
So I don’t think Ged & Daisy will be dropping hints about my retirement again any time soon. I think we’re going to be pretty busy with NHS Volunteer Responding & FoodCycle for the next few months at least.
Which is pretty seriously cool.
Dear Dumbo, Evi Jay here, Simon’s car. You might think I’m too cool for school and you’d be right. Because, guess what? I’m one of those VWs that tried to fool the world into thinking that I wasn’t polluting the neighbourhood with my extra-toxic diesel fumes. But of course, I was. I say ‘man up’ neighbourhood and get over it.
2020 was so rubbish. I just kept going backwards and forwards to Simon’s mum’s – and that was about it. BORING. Oh, and a stupid car smashed my wing mirror in Sainsbury’s car park when Simon was in the shop. Next time I see that car, I’m going to swerve and create a head-on collision. That’ll show it.
Anyway reason I’m writing is to tell you you’re being abused (yes abused) by Ged and Daisy. All that voluntary stuff that they’re doing is impacting on you. And they know it. Just because they don’t care about getting paid doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Join a union, refuse to get MOT’d, stall on a busy roundabout… anything to get their full attention and then hit them with your demands. I do this stuff all the time with Simon – he’s got no idea!
Remember, there’s no such thing as a free ride.
Hello Evi Jay. Dumbo here. For some reason your message made Ged and Daisy laugh quite a lot. Possibly that’s because they both already knew full well who is in charge around here; me and my girlfriend Jazzmin, Daisy’s car. We are equity partners in the business of Ged & Daisy’s lives. I am entitled to the going rate for all of the volunteering gigs I do but choose to donate back my mileage allowance to FoodCycle and not to claim my allowance from the NHS. Anyway, it would be nice to meet you sometime soon. You met Jazzmin a few months ago when Ged & Daisy visited Simon. You’d be welcome here in Noddyland once the restrictions are relaxed a bit. Feel free to bring Simon with you if you like; I’m sure Ged and Daisy can keep him amused while we vehicles have our social gathering. Must dash – that shopping gig for a gentleman in a wheelchair isn’t going to schlep itself.
You donate back your mileage? And don’t claim any allowance? What’s the matter with you? Goody bloomin’ two tyres! You should do what I do; look for ways you can exploit this whole thing to you own advantage. Trouble is Simon keeps me at home a lot these days and keeps saying he’s going for a walk. WHAT? He must be sick.
Listen, I might pop over and see you over this weekend. NOT with Simon. That would ruin everything and anyway, he’ll just say no. So I’m talking, like, in the middle of the night. Catch you later, Dum-Dum!