Three Cricket Watching Visits To Lord’s In A Week, 14 to 21 July 2022

These days I’m far more likely to visit Lord’s to play real tennis than I am to watch cricket; or at least to play real tennis AND watch cricket. But this rare week had me at Lord’s three times to watch cricket without playing tennis.

England v India ODI 14 July 2022

The first of the visits was for the one day international (ODI) between England and India. I don’t much go to ODIs these days (World Cup in England year excepted of course) but I had planned to take Ian Theodoreson to the test match in 2020 (until Covid scuppered such plans) and the most suitable date for a rescheduling was this particular ODI.

Ian has had a tendency to choose what turns out to be one of the hottest days of the year for his visits to Lord’s with me. He did so four years ago...

…and also four years before that

…which might be connected with the choice of dates in mid to late July.

Anyway, this 2022 visit was Ian’s first in one of the wheelchair enclosures, a factor that at least allowed the opportunity for me to meet and host Sally Theodoreson for the first time, which was an absolute pleasure, plus an opportunity for the MCC to demonstrate one of the things it seems able to do very well indeed , which is to look after wheelchair visitors.

Actually, as it turned out, this day was far from the hottest day of the year – Janie and I had that “pleasure” to come at Lord’s a few days later, but still we were grateful to the stewards finding us some shade from which to view the match.

I made the substantive picnic – being smoked trout bagels, ham and cheese sandwiches, dry salads in cups plus plentiful fruits, not least some giant strawberries that were as big on flavour as they were in size. Sally and Ian brought the other items that make a picnic sing – savoury & sweet nibbles plus a very glug-able Shiraz wine.

England did rather well that day, against their run of surprisingly poor form in white ball cricket so far this season.

A very enjoyable day, albeit a very long one for Ian and Sally, motoring up from Somerset and back on the day.

The Hottest Day Ever, Middlesex v Sussex Day One, 19 July 2022

Daisy awaiting the start of play, on the sundeck, having bagsed a parasol – yey!

We had planned to meet up with Fran and Simon at Lord’s that day, after first visiting (ironically, give Fran’s now former profession) the dental hygienist first thing. In the end, Fran and Simon gracefully withdrew from the plans and we resolved to give the match a try, but we were very much aware that the forecast was for the hottest day since records began. We suspected that we’d only stay until lunch.

Actually it was pretty pleasant up on that deck during the first session, although everyone was wondering why Tim Murtagh had chosen to bowl on the hottest day ever, so some of the Middlesex regulars were getting a bit hot under the collar.

Don’t I look cool considering it was the hottest day EVER?

I wanted to show Janie the view from the top of the new Upper Compton, so we wandered around that way, bumping into one of my tennis pals, Russ, with whom we chatted for a while as the temperature rose.

We didn’t stay up top for long – the view was great and the shade welcome but the breeze was almost non-existent by 2:00 and it was getting seriously hot.

We went home to swelter in the discomfort of our own home for the rest of the day, still wondering what Middlesex had been playing at choosing to bowl.

Young Men At Lord’s, Middlesex v Sussex Day Three, 21 July 2022

There are just two places remaining on the planet where people address me as “young man”: Lord’s and Wigmore Hall – naturally I spend a fair amount of time at both places.

But in some company the phrase seems even more sarcastic than usual. For example, my third visit to Lord’s in a week, when I met up with young Jez Horne, who came to work as a summer intern at Z/Yen in the summer of 2005 and stayed for nearly 10 years…and Jez’s six-year-old son Nathaniel.

As it happens, I originally met Jez through Middlesex cricket. In fact, now I come to think of it, I conducted his internship recruitment interview while playing catch on the outfield at Southgate in the interval between innings of a Middlesex v Gloucestershire Sunday League match, 17 years ago.

Jez did a lot of serious numbers work with Z/Yen – scoring the charity cricket matches was the least of it

Returning to 2022, Jez and I agreed to meet up on this day while Jez was introducing six-year-old Nathaniel to the joys of Lord’s. It was a very enjoyable experience for me to witness a young child’s wide-eyed wonder at all the different viewing points and places we could show him there. Nathaniel had previously visited Radlett and Hove, which are both lovely grounds, but not, until that day, had he seen Lord’s.

Our circuit started in the Warner Stand, took in a photo-opportunity or two in the Grandstand, then we watched from the very top of the Compton Stand (from whence Nathaniel was sure the land below was flat and not a hill, as I kept asserting), then the lower Compton Stand (at which point Nathaniel changed sides and agreed wholeheartedly that the cricket field is indeed a slope) and then, before tea, the Upper Allen Stand.

We met plenty of people on our trek, including Barmy Kev, Russ (who was again wending his way home after tennis) and Fletch, who shared some thoughts on the “bowl first” decision with us.

Just before leaving home, I had found a small Virgin Active gimcrack beanie ball on a shelf, which I thought might come in handy…and it did.

Just before tea, as I started to wonder whether the little fella was ever going to run out of energy, we tried playing catch with him using that beanie ball. He struggled at first but within just a few short minutes he was getting the hang of it and catching far more than he was missing.

Come tea, Nathaniel wanted to see “Grandpa’s Garden”, as I tend to call the Harris Garden. (Well, Grandpa Harris WAS a gentleman of Marylebone, albeit not THE Lord Harris of Marylebone Cricket Club fame). In the garden, Nathaniel devised a game of catching and tag that might, to the untrained eye, seem to have the rule complexity of real tennis combined with the rule-adjustability of Mornington Crescent. The use of a hat to catch the ball would have met with particular disapproval had an MCC stickler for the laws of cricket witnessed the game.

Soon after tea, that energy lull finally occurred, so I said goodbye to the actual young men and reverted to being a “relatively young man” in the pavilion watching the remainder of the day’s play.

In there, somewhere

I had been due to play tennis early evening, but after messing up my right arm the day before on the modern tennis court, I had to gracefully withdraw, so spent a few minutes after stumps watching my would be fellow combatants play, before ambling home feeling very content.

Several Testing Days At Lord’s & White City, 12 to 16 August 2021

England v India Test At Lord’s Day One: Thursday 12 August 2021

This day did not start well. Even before we set off towards Lord’s, I got a message from Chas “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett that he was poorly and would be unable to attend with me on Day Two. Janie also picked up a message from one of her Samaritans friends cancelling their planned get together on Saturday.

Then we arrived at the Church Street car park, which I had booked more than a week ahead of time. A shifty young man was turning everyone away from the car park, even people (like us) with advanced bookings.

“The car park is completely full”, he said. We deployed the stand-off method, refusing to move the car and asking him to get the police when he said we were causing an obstruction. He phoned his boss, then simply let us in. The car park was far from completely full. Read into this incident what you will.

Dumbo’s space

When we returned in the evening to rescue Dumbo, we complained to a different young man who reluctantly provided me with the above sign to mark my spot for the next day. “Someone could remove the sign in the mean time”, he told me, ruefully, but he did promise to e-mail his colleague who would be on duty the next morning.

Meanwhile, we still got to Lord’s in good time to grab decent seats in a shadier/drier part of the Lower Warner. However, Janie soon became irritated by the “Champagne Charlies” behind us, who apparently started off by braying at each other about how much money they were making in the City just now and then went on to make disparaging remarks about women’s cricket.

Janie wondered why we were sitting in such a crowded place, while the Lower Tavern was sparsely populated. I explained my theories about the pecking order of Lord’s stands, with the Lower Tavern being the most despised of the Members & Friends stands.

“Let’s go over there, in that case”, said Janie. And that’s where we ended up spending the rest of Day One. I also returned there on Day Two solo and spent Day Four there with Janie.

Just before we decamped to the Lower Tavern, I received an e-mail from FoodCycle wondering whether Janie and I could possibly step in and host the White City project on the Saturday. Having had our Saturday plans messed up, we said yes to that request; we felt that the only decent thing that had happened to us so far that day was getting press-ganged into volunteering for a superbly good cause.

The other thing I did while on the wander was to see if Chris Swallow needed someone to make up the numbers for tennis on Day Two. As I was to be guestless I might as well and could use the exercise during the test match. As it happened, there was a vacancy and the suggestion helped out.

Janie’s opinion of Lord’s pitches was not improved by the Day One tally of just three wickets, although I thought England bowled without luck at first and without penetration after that.

Day Two: Friday 13 August 2021

An austere look for a day without Charley The Gent

I’m delighted to report that Dumbo’s parking space awaited him, without fuss, when I arrived at the car park on the Friday. It does have to be said that the “reserved” marker had, however, been removed.

I was hoping to place the seats I had obtained for me and Chas, so I decamped to the Lower Tavern while awaiting word from various folk, none of whom could muster a cricket lover or two at such short notice. The number of people who have said, subsequently, “oh, but if you had called me…”

Anyway, I snacked very modestly, drank water and read a bit, while following the increasingly interesting cricket match.

I chatted for a while with a nice chap named Richard who was similarly guestless that day.

Despite the absence of Charley, I enjoyed the day’s cricket. Chas would have loved it.

I also enjoyed a good hour of tennis doubles late in the day, with Dominic, Paul and Nick. My first game of doubles for a while – a good warm up for the “Doctors Of Leamington” fixture on Sunday.

Day Three: Saturday 14 August 2021 – FoodCycle White City

I didn’t take any photos of this particular gig, but the photo below shows the venue last year, when we were doing food delivery services from there.

Janie with Father “Friar Tuck” Richard & other White City volunteers

The gig on Day three of the test match was a cook and collect service along similar lines to the services we provide out of Marylebone. Fortunately hosting that service was not too onerous for us, as they really did have a shortage of volunteers that week, with only one other hosting volunteer. Talk about vacancies…

Still, we successfully gave away all the food and then went on to play tennis at Boston Manor Park, which we enjoyed, before watching the end of Day Three of the test match on the telly.

Day Four: Sunday 15 August 2021 – England v India at cricket plus Ged Ladd & The Doctors Of Leamington Feat. Mr Johnny Friendly at tennis

The commentatorat in front of the Allen Stand

Keen to get a prime parking place near Lord’s – probably more in demand on test match Sunday than prime seats in the despised Lower Tavern stand, we got to Lord’s early and had some fun snapping the pre match atmosphere.

Haseeb Hameed looking keen as mustard

Dinesh Kartik dressed low key for once, with Ian Ward

Photo-bombing my own selfie

I was due on court at 12:00 for a long-arranged game of tennis with “The Doctors Of Leamington” and Mr Johnny Friendly. The latter spotted me & Janie (Daisy) in the despised Lower Tavern and told me that the court was free from 11:30 and that the Doctors were keen to start early, so I actually only caught the first 20 minutes or so of cricket before retiring to the tennis court.

As it turned out, the Doctors were waylaid, so Johnny Friendly and I played at singles for a while until the Doctors arrived, which seemed to warm me up rather well.

Daisy joined us for the last few minutes of our hour, observing/filming a little from the dedans. The following clip shows me scoring a couple of strokes before making a bit of a mess of the third return, delivering a bestial roar for my pains:

Worth the price of admission alone, this 34 second clip.

After tennis, we joined the good doctors for some traditional picnic in the vicinity of the Coronation Garden, which seemed a little crowded for our taste but fortunately the Doctors had taken a well-located bench on the outer perimeter of the garden.

Eventually we returned to our seats and watched the afternoon’s cricket, which was actually quite absorbing and left the match well poised, such that I resolved to return on the Monday.

Day Five: Monday 16 August 2021

I decided to drive to the North-Eastern edge of Kensington, which is slightly closer to Lord’s than my flat. In any case, the parking space outside the flat was suspended to allow Bill to put in my new boiler, so there was doubly no good reason to go there.

The more or less due East walk from that parking place to Lord’s, mostly along the canal footpath, was a delight. Although I have spent much of my life very close to that path – e.g. at the Canal Cafe Theatre, I’d never previously walked that line, as it were.

Refreshed from the walk, I tried to take up position in the Upper Tavern Stand, only to be rudely ejected.

You can’t come in here, Sir, it’s been sold to the public!

Apparently demand had been so great for Day Five tickets from Joe Public, but not so much from members, that we were to be “penned in” to the Allen/Pavilion/Warner Stands.

I chose the Warner – mercifully Champagne Charlies don’t do day fives.

Towards the end of the day I relocated to the Lower Allen, as I could see there was plenty of space and I fancied a quick getaway.

I read, I watched cricket, England came second in the end but that aspect seemed…secondary.

Here is a link to Cricinfo’s scorecard and resources on the match.

I also concluded a highly scientific experiment for King Cricket, which I had started at The Hundred matches between London Spirit & Northern Superchargers a couple of weeks earlier and concluded at this test match. It is written up in the following piece:

If anything ever goes awry with King Cricket’s site, you can find that vital piece of science here.

Three Out Of Four Days At Lord’s, The Other In Noddyland With Ros, 9 to 12 August 2018

Thursday 9 August 2018

Escamillo Escapillo has, of late, expressed a preference for seeing the first day of a test match. That was not too difficult for me to arrange this time around, knowing his preference in advance.

Of course, he didn’t express a preference for “one of those test match days that ends up being rained off in its entirety but that keeps you in suspense for much of the day, because the rain is light and might just stop”. But that’s what we got.

Ironic weather this, given the weeks and weeks of relentless heat and sunshine that led up to the start of the Lord’s test.

King Cricket lampooned the day, while it was happening, with this piece:

This is how to watch Test cricket

My day with Escamillo Escapillo was not my worst ever experience of rain frustration – the award for that must go to the 2012 Heavy Rollers Edgbaston trip, which resulted in no nets, no cricket at all, nothing, for around 48 hours:

Long To Rain Over Us, England v West Indies, Edgbaston, Days One and Two, 7 & 8 June 2012

Nigel’s take on the same non-event, linked at the end of the above piece, is one of the finest guest pieces on Ogblog.

Naturally Escamillo Escapillo & I tried to make the most of it, which is not too hard to achieve with one of my picnics to hand.  Posh Italian nibbles from Speck and a start on the very jolly bottle of Pinot Gridge courtesy of Escamillo Escapillo. Smoked salmon bagels and latterly prosciutto rolls helped us to get through the wine and warm our increasingly “resigned to the elements” hearts.

We had occasional “it looks like it is brightening up over there” moments but in truth Accuweather left us in no doubt that the intervals between showers were to be short and the showers long.

I think it was about 17:00 before the umpires bowed to the inevitable and we went our separate ways home.

Friday 10 August 2018

The forecast only looked a tiny bit better for DJ’s day. Still, I went through my picnic preparations and got to Lord’s quite early, watching tennis for a while.  DJ texted me to say he expected to arrive around the start time.

When Jimmy took a wicket in the first over, I thought DJ might have missed one of the day’s major moments, but DJ came down the steps just after the wicket fell, excitedly telling me that he got to see it.

Just as well. About 30 minutes of cricket was all DJ got to see before the rain came.  Then lots of rain. A bit like the September Test Friday last year…

Three Days At The Lord’s Test, England v West Indies, 7 to 9 September 2017

…except this time the weather app warned us that there was torrential rain coming between 14:00 and 16:00; so DJ and I both bailed out ahead of that storm, with a view possibly to returning if, by some chance, the day were to clear up and they were able to get some more play in.

I got some work done – while doing so I kept an eye on proceedings. I also informed Daisy that I hadn’t drunk any alcohol, so was planning to drive over to Noddyland that evening rather than next morning.

The torrential rain was tropical style – the TV showed pools on the outfield – but then the rain stopped.  An announcement came up on my screen to say “inspection at 17:00”;I guessed that meant possibly play to start at 17:45 or 18:00 – wrong! Play to start at 17:10…

…I returned to Lord’s, by jumping in the car and somehow found a parking space on St John’s Wood Road. So I got to see nearly 2 hours more cricket and finished my share of the picnic at the designated place. I did alert DJ, but he didn’t return.

Then, after stumps, on to Noddyland for a glass or two while Daisy ate her dinner.

Saturday 11 August 2018

Tennis first thing – I didn’t move so well despite the relative lack of sitting at the cricket. Massage with Lisa after that; much needed.

Then Ros’s visit. Ros is Janie’s very good friend from years gone by who has lived in Turkey for the last 25-30 years. We haven’t seen Ros for about 20 years. Facebook combined with Ros’s decision to visit Blighty reunited them/us.

Janie and Ros: reunited

Not 100% sure that this next picture is from the last time…but it was in Turkey and might have been the last time.

Mystic Ros reading the coffee grounds in Turkey, 1995: “I will visit you two at a place you will call Noddyland in about 23 year’s time”.

The weather was lovely, so we were able to take drinks and chat in the garden for some while, until Janie served up a splendid lunch of smoked salmon and Guernsey crab – the latter delicacy being a gift from Lisa.

Ros is an exponent of Bowen Technique therapies, which gave “the girls” a lot to talk about, while I joined in the conversation as best I could and kept at least one eye on the cricket.

Once the cricket ended, the combination of massage, wine and the gentle therapeutic conversation sent me onto the sofa and into the appealing arms of Morpheus.

I’m not entirely sure how much longer Ros stayed but I did wake up properly before Ros left.

Sunday 12 August 2018

Weather forecasts ahead of Sunday were not promising. I warned Janie that we might get nothing at all, but that we should be ready to go. Even first thing on Sunday itself , the forecast was aweful.

But then the wind direction shifted, such that the Thursday-like constant light rain looked likely to miss Lord’s for most of the day.

Daisy of course wasn’t ready for such a dramatic change of plan, so I jumped into Dumbo to get a good parking spot and get a couple of good (dry) seats in the Warner for us, suggesting that Janie & the picnic join me by Uber once they were ready.

in the end we got a super day of cricket in a very comfy spot with just a few short interruptions for drizzle.

Umesh Yadav continued to demonstrate his fitness at tea until the very last second

Nice people sitting around us, including an amusing gentleman from Oxford who had an aversion to the England team’s infantile nicknames and who seemed convinced (wrongly as it turned out) that Stokesy was going to go to jail.

We saw a great England win and then had the luxury of Dumbo just round the corner to run us home. We celebrated with a glass or two once we got back to Noddyland.

Here is the Cricinfo resource for the completed match.

Heavy Rollers Trip To Edgbaston, England v India, 31 July to 3 August 2018

31 July 2018 – The Day I Forgot That I Hadn’t Forgotten The Tickets

The plan was to have a quiet morning finishing off work bits before setting off towards Birmingham for three nights and three days of Heavy Roller cricketing joy…

…but we all know what tends to happen to that sort of plan.

So I ran around like crazy that morning, fitting in two client meetings, getting my packing done and shovelling down some lunch.  Still I managed to leave home at a reasonable hour to avoid the traffic and get to Brum in time to shower, change and join up with the lads.

As I drove past the Warwick junction of the M40, I had a horrible brain flash. The utter conviction I had, earlier in the day, that Chas has the tickets this year, morphed into a distinct memory of Chas handing me an Essex CCC ticket wallet.

“But that must have been my Chelmsford ticket,” I thought, until my memory distinctly remembered the sight of Edgbaston tickets in an Essex ticket wallet. The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that I had been an idiot not looking in my ticket draw when packing…even though, in truth, I could not recall seeing those tickets in that draw in my recent ticket trawls for Lord’s matches and the like.

I remember you…not

I decided that I simply needed to fess up to Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett on arrival and we’d work out how I might get replacement tickets issued. I cannot be the first “gentleman with waning powers of memory” to travel to an Edgbaston test without his tickets, so there must be some sort of reissuing procedure and I knew Chas would have his ticket records with him.

I called Chas on arrival – he and The Boy Malloy had just gone down to the bar to meet Nigel “Father Barry” Hinks. Chas’s immediate reaction was that he had all the tickets in his care, including mine, as is usually the case…

…then he went on the same memory journey as I had travelled…he did remember handing me an Essex wallet and he did remember separating out tickets for me, for some reason…

…anyway, by the time I had showered and got to the Plough And Harrow Bar to join the lads, Chas had checked the ticket situation and discovered that he had them all.

We then both realised that the memory flash of Chas giving me my tickets in advance was from last year, when Daisy and I travelled up the night before and had pre-arranged to join the others at the ground for the start of the West Indies day/nighter:

Day/Night Test Match, England v West Indies, Edgbaston, 17 to 19 August 2017

Did the lads give me a ribbing for sort of forgetting my tickets…or rather for forgetting that I hadn’t forgotten my tickets?

Yes.

I tried to counter-rib by suggesting that they had forgotten to book Colbeh, stymieing our dinner plans, but that didn’t work. In fact, it is just as well that I saw Azlan from Colbeh as I walked past, as he said he was pretty full that night so I did genuinely make a booking that might just have saved our evening plans. Chapeau to Azlan for remembering my name from last year and the year before.

An Evening In Birmingham With Daisy, Dinner At Colbeh, 16 August 2017

Anyway, this year’s pre-match dinner at Colbeh comprised me, Chas and Nigel. The Boy Malloy had arranged to meet up with a friend at the Birmingham Cosy Club, the name of which drew a similar “oo er missus” type reaction from Chas and Nigel to that of the burghers of Leicestershire CCC, when I announced a similar meet up in Leicester a few weeks ago:

Three Days In Leicester Mostly For Cricket, 20 to 22 June 2018

The Colbeh Three (as Chas, Nigel and I should now be known) had a superb meal again this season at Colbeh. It is a joy to see how well that place is doing, Nigel and I having been early customers there a couple of years ago when it first opened. I think the food might still be getting better and better. When I got home, Daisy asked me if I had thanked Azlan for recommending the book The Saffron Tales to her, from which she has taken much pleasure and adapted several recipes. I admitted I hadn’t…

…until now. Thanks, Azlan.

Match Day One – On Making The Most Of Plenty: Copious Mrs Malloy Sandwiches c/w England’s Run Scoring

After a hearty breakfast based on kippers, I chose to walk directly from my digs at the Eaton Hotel to the ground.  It is a lovely 45 minute walk across Edgbaston.

Ticket scanning and security is so well organised at Edgbaston these days; I was in the ground around 10:30 and heard the toss as I was entering the stand.

I was the first of our group to arrive, but there were quite a few people already seated in our block. Then a young man came along and sat in one of our seats. I said, “excuse me, that cannot be your seat”.

“Yes it is”, exclaimed the young man, “look!”  He showed me his ticket.  Block 06, Row A, Seat 5.

“You should be in Block 6”, I said, “this is Block 7”.

“No it isn’t”, said a few people seated around me, “this is Block 6”.  I really was starting to worry about waning powers now, but turned around and saw, clearly on the wall behind me, the big “7” sign that indicates Block 7.

“It really is Block 7”, I said.  “See the sign…”

…then one or two other people chimed in, “of course this is Block 7”.

But for some reason, perhaps an errant steward, perhaps group-think amongst several unconnected parties of people, 15 to 20 people got up and relocated to the real Block 6.

I had a good chortle with a few of the real Block 7 residents about that one.

Then I took the photograph below.

Before The Start On Day One

Then I started to wonder whether the others were ever going to show up; they are usually so keen to get to the ground in good time. Eventually show up they did; slightly frazzled/later than intended. Something about a wrong turn.

Heavy laden, they were, with a picnic fit for Heavy Rollers.  Mrs Malloy had gone wild with the sandwiches this year: corned beef with mustard and smoked ham ones for the meat eaters, quorn chicken for the veggies, cheese for everyone and egg mayonnaise for everyone other than me.

Mrs Malloy had also gone wild with her gold-ink sandwich-pack labelling pen, to symbolise the impending golden anniversary of the Malloys.

We ascertained that  Those Were The Days by Mary Hopkin was number one in the charts when the Malloys hitched; likewise when Harsha Ghoble was born. Very apt.

…but I digress again.

While we tucked in to the picnic for several hours, England seemed to be tucking in to the Indian bowling quite nicely too.

Ahead of our visit, I had written up one of our silly cricket matches from days of yore; the one in which a certain James Pitcher playing for Z/Yen ran out a lumbering Charley The Gent, with a brilliant and utterly unexpected direct hit:

Match Of The Day & Play Of The Day, Z/Yen v The Children’s Society, Holland Park, 22 June 2004

They say that history doesn’t repeat itself but it does rhyme.  In a strange echo of the Charley The Gent run out from 2004, Joe Root was run out, while attempting a second run, by Virat Kohli, soon after tea. That incident and the rest of the day one highlights can be seen on this short reel:

Meanwhile, as England’s fortunes rapidly declined, Charley The Gent was insisting that we finish all the sandwiches today, withholding snacks and sweetmeats for the remaining days.  “I have to be able to report to her that all the sandwiches went”, said Charley.

They all went. We were stuffed. We did not eat that evening. We simply met in the Plough and Harrow bar for a couple of glasses. We concluded that, although Charley hadn’t thrown away any sandwiches, England might well have thrown away the match in that last session.

Match Day Two – More On History Not Repeating Itself But Rhyming

After breakfast (I went full English today after last night’s dietary abstinence), again I walked to the ground directly from my hotel.

I had a particular purpose and route in mind today. I have been reading up on the history of tennis (real and lawn) and had uncovered a history of tennis piece from Country Life Magazine…

scraped to here just in case…

…which mentions a particular address in Edgbaston, Fairlawn on Westbourne Road, as the home of Pelota, an early form of lawn tennis that most resembled the version that took hold and was possibly the first of that kind.

Fairlawn Or Forelorn?

No longer is there a commemorative plaque and I wasn’t expecting late 20th century modern build flats either; I was expecting a somewhat distressed-looking Victorian villa, much like some of the neighbouring houses, which are mostly used as low key residential care homes or sheltered housing these days. Oh well; I’ve seen it now.

The lads arrived in good time today – no wrong turn.

Charley was a little sheepish; he’d been ticked off by Mrs Malloy for force-feeding us with infeasible quantities of sandwiches. She hadn’t honestly expected us to get through them all, she just wanted each of us to have plenty of choice.

“Can’t win”, said Charley, presumably in the matter of pleasing Mrs Malloy but perhaps he was thinking about the cricket match too.

We snacked while India seemed to establish their innings, until Sam Curran had other ideas and the match swung back to England until Kohli and the tail had yet other ideas…you get the idea.

It all reminded me a little of a couple of the excellent matches I have seen recently between Middlesex and Warwickshire; one at Edgbaston last year…

A Visit To Edgbaston, Mostly For Warwickshire v Middlesex, 3 to 5 July 2017

…the other at Lord’s, just a week or so before this test match:

Two Sweltering Days At Lord’s, The First With Ian Theodoreson, The Second With Rohan Candappa – Part Two: With Rohan C, 24 July 2018

I reflected that both of those close encounters had gone the way of my team…just. Would history thus rhyme for England, I wondered.

On the second of my leg-stretching sojourns, I spotted Tufty Trevor and Tufty Mike…

Tufty Stackpole v The Children’s Society, North Crawley CC, “Match Report”, 30 July 2006

…with there respective missuses, sitting right at the front of the block before the walkway we needed to use to get out of our Raglan Stand. The others must have walked past them obliviously several times. I stopped and chatted with the Tufties a while and alerted the other Rollers (especially Charley) on my return, enabling him to join the Tufties for a while later in the day.

Meanwhile our informal Heavy Rollers plan for dinner that evening – to dine (as we had done a couple of year’s previously) at Mr Idly’s Southern Indian establishment

The Heavy Rollers, Edgbaston, England v Pakistan Days One to Three, 3 to 5 August 2016

…bit the dust when The Boy Malloy announced that he doesn’t like Indian food and a search to discover whether Mr Idly has other options revealed very poor recent reviews.

I did some extensive research and due diligence (didn’t these guys used to pay me to do this sort of thing, albeit on slightly bigger and more important procurement matters?) to uncover El Borracho De Oro (subsequently defunked) within spitting distance of the Plough & Harrow. With some difficulty, I managed to book it on-line so we were sorted.

While I was concentrating on all that, England’s fortunes slid again and by the end of Day two we were, one again, convinced that India had the edge.

Here is the ECB short highlights reel from that day:

El Borracho De Oro proved to be a good choice for dinner; the only shortcoming being the music noise. Also for future reference, the portion sizes were a little smaller than we expected so we possibly should have ordered more tapas – we’ll know for next time. It was very reasonably priced for its quality.

Apart from Charley disappearing back to the hotel to sort out an errant duplicate payment that wasn’t and Harsha disappearing to pick up on some work malarkey, it was a very cohesive, convivial and enjoyable evening.

Day Three – A Wonderful Day Of Test Cricket Leaving The Match Finely In The Balance

Back to the kippers for breakfast today, then I left my electricals and Benjy The Baritone Ukulele in the safe hands of Roberto at the Eaton before walking, for the last time this trip, to the ground.

Again the lads were in good time; indeed they got to the ground ahead of me this time. All except for Harsha, who had to deal with his business crisis before coming to the ground. I thought that might be the last we’d see of him, but in fact he turned up about 10 minutes into the day’s play. After a short committee meeting, we decided that he could participate in that day’s prediction game anyway, despite the additional inside knowledge that 10 minutes of play provides.

It didn’t help Harsha.

In fact, I was the biggest winner of the day; actually I showed positive on each of the three days – that might be a first.

Again the match tilted one way and then the other. Despair before lunch as England collapsed. Some respite after lunch as Curran tried to get England to a defensible score. Then joy as India collapsed. Then an impending sense of doom as India recovered somewhat late in the day, leaving the match perilously poised at the end of the day – probably just tilting in India’s favour.

Here is the ECB short highlights reel for Day three:

Chas kindly dropped me at my hotel to help speed me on my way – Daisy had invited some people over for dinner, although they all knew I would be back late. So we said our fond Heavy Roller farewells in the Eaton Hotel car park.

The Epilogue

It took me just under two hours to get back to Noddyland, where the dinner with Deni and Tony was only just underway, so I could shower and catch up with starters before joining the group for the main meal. Daisy has some pictures and I’ll report that separately.

London was sweltering – far hotter/muggier than Brum.

The next morning, Daisy and I did battle on the tennis court first thing.  I gave it 120% and needed to do so in order to overcome a very keen Daisy. She felt that she ought to be able to beat me after I had sat around for three days watching cricket, eating and drinking. But I’m made of stern stuff.

As soon as we got home, just before the cricket started, Daisy kindly offered to do my washing from the trip, including the tennis kit in which I had just played. “Just pile it in front of the washing machine, ” she said.

When she came to the pile, she exclaimed, “urgh, what the hell is this? This is disgusting. What have you done?”

I wondered what on earth was the matter. I stepped in to find her holding my recently-worn briefs at arms length. “Have you wet yourself or something?”, she asked.

“No, I’ve just played an hour of rigorous tennis against you in sweltering heat, that’s all. You don’t normally do my washing and you certainly don’t normally see my sweaty undies before they have dried off a bit.”

“I don’t sweat like that”, said Daisy. I wondered whether to offer a short biology lesson but decided against.

Then we watched the cricket match pan out. If I gave the tennis 120%, then Ben Stokes must have given England 150%.

“I wonder whether Ben Stokes gets GBH of the earhole from his missus in the matter of his sweaty briefs”, I thought to myself, before deciding that “GBH of the earhole” was an unfortunate phrase in Ben Stokes’s context.

Ben Stokes’s performance and demeanour is well described in this excellent Guardian piece, which Nigel circulated to us rollers later that day. As Nigel said:

Just thought this bit of writing captured much of our experiences over our collective cricket-watching years

Chas responded:

The writer’s piece was wonderful and it made my emotions bubble up again! I believe he was absolutely spot on with the analysis of Stokes bowling, the brilliance, the commitment and the ‘gut renching’ dedication to win, no matter of the pain his body was suffering – because it was for the team – definitely some comparison to Freddie!

My major disappointment was not being there on Saturday to see and witness this fabulous and emotional win by England!!

Here is the ECB short highlights reel for the final day; those 90 minutes I witnessed on the TV rather than live:

All the match details and peripherals, good, bad and ugly, are on this Cricinfo resource.

This particular Heavy Rollers Edgbaston Test trip will live long in my memory as a classic amongst many wonderful Heavy Rollers experiences.

Two Wheels On My Roller, But I Keep Rolling Along…England v India Days One and Two, Edgbaston, 10 & 11 August 2011

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Pretty much everything I want to say about this event, has been said at King Cricket, click the link below.

I think it is fair to say that matters did not go according to plan in 2011, especially as far as Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett was concerned, for reasons explained in sufficient gory detail in the King Cricket piece I wrote about our 2011 visit to the Edgbaston test – click here or below:

England v India, Edgbaston Test match report

If anything ever happens to the King Cricket website, I have scraped the piece to Ogblog and you can click and read all about it here instead…

…except, of course, you can’t read ALL about it at King Cricket, because of that site’s reporting rules…

…so here is the scorecard if you want to know how the match turned out.

Also there was the backdrop of the riots that summer, which were unfolding as we arrived and during our stay, although leafy Harborne seemed unaware of or at least untouched by them.

Naturally Nigel and I made the most of it without Chas. It would be cruel to harp on about the extent to which we were nevertheless able to enjoy ourselves despite Chas’s indisposition. In any case, I doubtless harped sufficiently when I saw Charles again a bit later that season.

It must have been especially galling for Chas as I seem to recall he had gone to a great deal of trouble that year to secure our “honorary” front row seats, book nets, book rooms, book an Indian feast…oy!

I believe that I drove up that year having booked the extra night after the second day’s play. That might have been Nobby’s only visit to Harborne Hall.

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Nobby never really acquired a taste for cricket…unlike Dumbo subsequently...but I digress.

 

England v India At Lord’s Days One And Two, 21 & 22 July 2011

I needed to do some archaeology in my e-mail system for this match to work out who I went with on which days.

Turns out I went with Graham Stedman …latterly known as Iain Insteadman…:

Three Days At The Lord’s Test, England v West Indies, 7 to 9 September 2017

…on the Thursday, then with Janie on the Friday.

I hadn’t thought about this before, but Graham seems to be a bit of a rainmaker, if the story of his 2011 and 2017 visits to Lord’s might be deemed to be a reasonably-sized sample.

We only got just over half a day’s play on the Thursday; quite slow stuff at that.

Whereas Janie and I got a giant-sized day of cricket on the Friday, with fair weather and a Kevin Petersen double-hundred.

Here is a link to the match scorecard.

Still, Graham seemed to enjoy his day out:

Thank you very much indeed for an excellent day at the cricket. I thoroughly enjoyed it and it was a very welcome distraction from the office. I am only sorry our enjoyment was cut short by the rain.

I will follow the remainder of the match with extra interest.

I replied to his message by saying:

It was a pleasure and was good to see you.  Janie felt badly on Friday that she and I did so much better weatherwise that day!

I am pretty sure this was the first of the occasions that Janie and I had our ears bent by a pair of retired Reuters journalists who told us exactly the same anecdotes, more or less word for word, both times.

But you do get a decent type of bore at Lord’s, you really do.

India and Sri Lanka, 29 January to 26 February 2011, placeholder and links

We needed a long and complete break after the loss of Phillie, Janie’s twin, in December. But this holiday was a long and ambitious one by any measure.

We were planning it at very short notice, by our standards, of course, but fortune smiled upon us in that planning. The Central Plains of India; Chhattisgarh and Orissa (Odisha) can be quite politically volatile, Foreign Office advice yo-yos between “no problem” and “only go if need be”, due to Naxalite/Maoist activity. But what a fascinating tribal part of India it is.

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Anyway, it was a safe time to go at that time and the plan, through Steppes East who were excellent on this one, was to use the family of the Maharajah of Kanker as our guides in that region. This was a great idea; Jolly Deo, the Maharajkumar, was the perfect host and guide. We learnt lots and had fun along the way.

I long ago posted the weirdest story from that trip; the day I was press-ganged into being a live cricket commentator, which was published on King Cricket a few months after the event.

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We were also fortunate in the Sri Lanka leg of the trip; an opportunity to have a large villa in Galle Old Town all to ourselves for the price of a hotel room came up, by virtue of the villa only recently coming back onto the holiday market following a long-term family stay. I suppose our experience there was a bit like a cross between AirBnB (except without making life hell for the neighbours) and Lastminute.com.

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In short, there were loads of adventures to write up from this holiday – pages and pages and pages of the stuff….

…and they are all up there now – pretty much one posting per day.  The posting for the first day of the holiday can be seen by clicking here or below:

Journey From London To Hyderabad, 29 & 30 January 2011

Here are links to the photo albums, which I divided up into six short albums, one for each “leg” of the trip:

001 30 Jan 2011 Club Room at The Taj Krishna, Hyderabad P1000935

001 1 Feb 2011 Evening Drinks On Arrival At Kanker Palace P1010030

001 4 Feb 2011 On The Road To Jagdalpur P2040015

001 8 Feb 2011 On The Road Towards Rayagada P1010584

001 12 Feb 2011 Ekambareswarar Temple, Kanchipuram P1010792

001 14 Feb 2011 Cricket On The Western Ramparts Of Galle Fort P1010867

If you are really keen to explore my hand-written notes, just to make sure I have written them up properly, here they are in pdf form and good luck to you:

Here is the Steppes East itinerary, also available for download – at least you’ll be able to read this one: Itinerary-Wormleighton.

Finally, there are photo albums on flickr of the pictures that didn’t make the cut for the main albums – there are some gems in there nonetheless for picture lovers:

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P1010158

P1010244

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P1010803

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Touring In And Around Chennai, Tamil Nadu, 12 February 2011

All the album pictures from our Chennai touring are in the following album:

001 12 Feb 2011 Ekambareswarar Temple, Kanchipuram P1010792

Rose early with Daisy still fuming about the power incident [last night].

Set off for Kanchipuram with guide Sanjay and driver Muthu, of course. Ring Vikram in Delhi on way to get him to sort out our room/attitude problem.

Ekambareswarar Temple

First stop, Kanchipuram, the Ekambareswarar Temple. Stunning temple, still in use.

Then a quick once around the Kanchi Kailasanathar Temple– a dead or ruined temple but in reasonably good condition.

Leaping locals at Kanchi Kailasanathar Temple

Ged [that’s me] downed a drinking coconut (fleshless). Then on to see jacquard silk saris being made – we bought three cotton shirt/kurta things there.

We arrange extra trip to cricket, so agree to do edited highlights of Mahabalipuram. First stop, Bhagriratha’s Penance and the Mandaras, bas-relief’s in rocks and in some porticoes respectively.

Daisy eyes up the Mandaras

Then on to Pancha Rathas (Five Rathas) very elegant ruined temple site which we explored quickly.

Pancha Rathas

Then we set off for the MA Chithambaram stadium. Sanjay points out highlights of Chennai proper on the way (e.g. Saint Thomas’s Church and the ultra long beach).

Then the stadium. Sanjay helps us find the gates for the best seats (Rs.500 not the 200, 100 or Rs.50 seats for us) and takes his leave of us. Unbelievably putrid smell from the toilets. Mr “No Smoke, No Photo” on security and waiting. Loads of people taking photos so we join in only for Mr No Photo to challenge us. Daisy sorts him out.

We see the end of the Zimbabwean innings – and start of the South African innings. Then leave to find Muhtu.

I have written up the cricket element of this day in more detail – click here or below, where you’ll also find a link to the relevant King Cricket piece on the topic:

South Africa bowling, Zimbabwe batting

Lots of traffic and interesting scenes on the way home. Find lots of gifts in our room and rapidly a call from the manager who tells us dinner is on him!

Of course we have been moved to the front table as requested last night. He comes down to meet us, everyone (staff) fawns over us while the guests all gawp at us.

We try bouillabaise, then I tried lobster, Daisy tries Khuta fish and we get mash, fries and lots of veggies, just as we asked for them.

As well as the Wasabi mayonnaise we tried yesterday.

The unlisted pictures from Chennai are in the album below:

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The Day I Was Press-ganged Into Becoming A Live Cricket Commentator, Jagdalpur, 6 February 2011

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Strange things can happen when you travel in India but this event, from Jagdalpur, Chhattisgarh, in the central plains of India, must qualify as one of the strangest things that has happened to me in my entire life.

I reported this story at length on the King Cricket website, under my nom de plume, Ged Ladd.  Janie and I have nicknamed each other Ged and Daisy for as long as anyone can remember.  Click here or below for the story and further links.

Interstate competition, Bhawaripatnam v Konta at Jagdalpur – match report

If by any chance something goes awry with King Cricket site, the piece is scraped to Ogblog here.

Frankly, some of the comments are better than my report – it is worth reading for them. King Cricket can be like that.

Below are the two newspaper articles that appeared at the time. First up, the front page of New India:

Front page news in New India

Ameya from the King Cricket site has kindly translated the substance of the above article as follows:

The New India headline says ‘Bastar weather is great for cricket’. The article mentions you saying that Bastar has conducive weather for cricket. I’m assuming you were simply commenting on the weather that day.

Article goes on to say that you and Jenny (they get your names right for the most part, except you are Iaan) are foreign tourists, that you are cricket fans, that you encouraged players, and that you did commentary on the game ‘in English’.

Next up, the back page of the Bastar Sun, which got a great many of the material facts about the event wrong. I recall us having quite a laugh with Jolly about that article at the time. I shouted out to the King Cricket community, “perhaps someone now would care to translate it for us in full”…

Back page news in The Bastar Sun

…and Ameya kindly obliged with the following:

The Bastar Sun is where things get more interesting. The bold black font headline says ‘London’s John Harik does commentary’. The smaller red blurb says ‘Foreign player does commentary’.

You are John Harik and your ‘associate’ is Revis Harik. No mention of marriage or professional commentary anywhere. [apologies – that was my inaccurate recollection]

The article says you (cricket lover from London) and your associate were enjoying the match when the organisers spotted you and requested you to do commentary. You proceeded to ‘enjoy the responsibility’ for about an hour, and also chatted with and encouraged some senior players.

As for the match itself, Konta Chhattisgarh won the toss and chose to bat. After making 172/8 in their 25 overs, their seam bowlers were taken to the cleaners by Bhavanipatanam Orissa’s openers. While the spinners did apply some brakes, the match was over within 22.2 overs. Rinku top scored with 77(71). The writer was puzzled as to why Konta chose to bat first, to which one of their officials said that they didn’t want the pressure of a chase and wanted to set a high score.

Many thanks to Ameya for the translations.

If you want to see the pictures from our several days in the Bastar region of Chhattiisgarh, including the events described in this story, click here. 

Middlesex Ged Ladds v Bastar Jolly Rogers, Garden Cricket At the Bastar Jungle Resort, 5 February 2011

At the Bastar Jungle Resort, in Chhattisgarh, central plains of India, we had great fun playing garden cricket after our touring on a couple of evenings; especially 5 February.

Tennis ball bounce?
Tennis ball bounce?

I described the background and the matches at length on the Middlesex Till We Die (MTWD) web site when we returned from India. Read all about it by clicking the photo above or clicking here.

Just in case anything ever happens to MTWD and/or Sportnetwork, I have also scraped the report to Ogblog – here.

The match report doesn’t mention the mess I made of one of my arms by trying to hit the cover off the ball in the final match of the “series”. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose when it comes to Ged Ladd and playing sport. Ironically, earlier that same day I had my 15 minutes of fame as a live cricket commentator and thus soon to be minor celebrity in those parts – see here.