DURHAM V MIDDLESEX DAY 1, DAY ONE INBETWEEN FEET

DURHAM V MIDDLESEX DAY 1

 

DAY ONE INBETWEEN FEET

 

While Ged Ladd was in the City making a few million before tea, Daisy was dipping in and out of the match on Ceefax.� Ged the mighty hunter, returned from the City with his quarry in time to catch the closing overs on the webcast.� Providing unique insight into Ged and Daisy�s match day domestic arrangements, this report also summarises an up-and-down day for Middlesex.

 

Daisy�s view from the Podiatrist�s Chair and Ceefax

 

It isn�t so easy to follow the team when you have a stream of patients to see, each with their foot problems to preoccupy them and me.� But I do get occasional breaks between patients and try to keep Ged informed.

 

I find Ceefax a rather difficult technology to master.� I realise that this might worry my patients, who have every confidence that I can master some pretty complex equipment that does invasive things to their feet, but medical equipment behaves more logically than Ceefax.

 

I mean, why do the pages roll round at just the speed that prevents you from working out what�s going on?� And why doesn�t pressing some buttons get you back to where you want to be?

 

First call

 

Anyway, I had a short break soon after the start of play and did a great job at that moment with the Ceefax.� I called Ged.�

 

�Hi.� Wos-appenin?� he asked, in that tone of voice that tells me that he�s probably with a member of staff or something and doesn�t want them to know that he�s being phoned with cricket scores., �I�ll be back in a minute�, I also hear him say.�

 

�Ceefax Page 347, Champ D1 (Day 1) Riverside�..�, I say.�

 

�Yeh, yeh, yeh I know that bit� he says, irritably (I don�t know why I bother sometimes).� �Who won the toss?� Who�s batting?�.�

 

�The page has rolled over to the bowlers now�, I said.�

 

�So who�s bowling?�, he grizzles.�

 

�Umm, let me see now,� I say �Ceefax Page 347���.�

 

�Just wait for the first page to roll round again and pick up where you left off�.�

 

Ceefax takes forever when you�re waiting for the page to roll.�

 

�Durham 1^st Innings, Durham won the toss�..�.� I won�t repeat what Ged said.� But then he said �hold on a second, love���Terry, hi, Ged Ladd���D���.3���.Crac de Chevalier������spread, Durham 1^st dig������..I�ll sell that for a pound a point�����.�

 

�What are you doing, darling?� I enquired.

 

�Just buying and selling as usual dear.� Business stuff.� Import and export.� You know.�

 

�I don�t know�, I confessed, �But my next patient has arrived.� I�ll call you later.�

 

Second call

 

It was even worse the second time I called him, some time after lunch.�

�

�Hi.� Wos-appenin?� he asked. �I�ll be back in a minute�, I also hear him say.�

 

�Ceefax Page 347, Champ D1 (Day 1) Riverside�..�, I say.�

 

�Yeh, yeh, yeh I know that bit� he says.�

 

�Hold on, it�s changed�, I say, �Ceefax Page 346, Champ D2 (Day 2) Grace Road��..�

 

�You must have hit the down button,� he yells, �hit the up button, hit the up button�.

 

So I do that.� �Hold on�, I say.�

 

Ceefax takes forever when you�re waiting for the page to roll.

 

�Ceefax Page 348.� Champ D1 (Day 1) Canterbury����

 

�You hit the up button twice�.

 

�You said �hit the up button� twice�.

 

�Hit the down button once�.

 

�Oh, so you�ve changed your mind�.

 

�Please, sweetheart, I haven�t got all day.� What�s the bloomin� score?�

 

�Hold on, it says 159 for 3�, I say.

 

�And that�s our game?�

 

�Yes, Ceefax Page 347��.�

 

�Who�s batting, you know, who�s names are still in white?�

 

�Maher and Benkenstein�

 

�They�re pronounced �Marr� and �Benkunsteen��, he says, �hold on a second love���.. Terry, hi, Ged Ladd���D���.3���.Crac de Chavalier������spread, Benkenstein������..I�ll buy that for a pound a point�����.�

 

�What are you doing, sweetheart?� I ask.

 

�Just buying a patch of land half the size of the Gobi Desert for one of my clients, dear� he says.

 

�Oh, it�s just changed, Ged, we�ve got a wicket!!� Benkenstein c Hutton b Betts 19�.�

 

He didn�t seem as pleased as he usually does I must say.� Then my next patient arrived.� I hope he hasn�t started gambling again.

 

Ged�s take on the Closing Overs via Webcast

 

I�ll pick up the day�s play from here and really don�t believe everything that Daisy tells you, folks.� She has a mischievous streak.�

 

I got back to my home office at about 18:45, switched on the BBC webcast and clicked on the BBC Scorecard.� Three-twenty-something for eight.� First ball I hear, Silverwood gets rid of Mustard playing on.� Next thing I hear is the commentator reading out Barmy Kev�s tired old Mustard and Onions jokes as if no-one has ever heard them before.� Worse, the commentator claims that the Durham local radio boys are in stitches.� It reminds me of that old Monty Python sketch about Mr Smoketoomuch who has never heard anyone say �perhaps you ought to cut down then.�

 

A few reflections on the day

 

But seriously folks, a few reflections on the day, a day which I largely missed.

 

Word on the Webcast is that if an early miss of Maher had been taken and if bowlers� luck had gone our way, 200 might have been their lot.� Even at tea on 212/6, the hope was to get shot of them for 250.� So even if we remove them sharpish tomorrow (which we should) perhaps they have scored 80-100 more than we think they deserve.

 

I cannot judge that, but I would hope that we can bat well against their bowling attack and get a first innings lead of some kind.� We could do with 5 batting points for a start!�

 

The commentator said that Silverwood bowled beautifully and without luck.� That sounds like good news for the season if he can stay fit.� He looked excellent against Kent in my eyes.�

 

There was no mention of Betts, but only 9 overs including 2 wickets, is he crocked again?� Over to those who know more.

 

And at the risk of sounding like a BBC repeat on this subject, Jamie Dalrymple: 22 overs, 4 maidens, 57 runs, 2 wickets.

 

He is consistently bowling at sub 3 an over and picking up vital wickets in the CC.� Early in the season you cannot ask your spinner for more.� I feel this will be a breakthrough season for him with the ball, when conditions become more conducive.

 

Match poised at the end of Day 1.� Durham�s day by a whisker, because they have the runs on the board.� I think we need some sort of first innings lead to give the bowlers some breathing space 2^nd dig, but as long as we get close or above, it�ll be game on.