Middlesex Worn Out, Warne Not Out

Pick of the Bowlers

By Ged
August 12 2006

The cricket was excellent and the Ladds en masse were very nicely looked after by staff and stewards, as Ged's dad celebrates his 87th birthday and 1st professional cricket match. Ged Ladd reports on his day at Lord's with Mr & Mrs Ladd Senior. A Day Out With Mr & Mrs Ladd Senior
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I've never done a day four report before, the issue being that the match is over, so opinions on where the match stands are history. The cricket element of the report is entirely post hoc, much like a one-day match report.

So my plan is to give you a quick summary of the cricket as I saw it and spend most of the report describing my day at Lord's with Mr & Mrs Ladd Senior.


Summary of the Cricket
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The day began poised with all five results possible. Warne tried to make early breakthroughs (mostly himself and Mascaranhas, by far the most effective bowlers). When that didn't really work and Middlesex didn't seem too keen on a rapid acceleration, Warne (presumably) agreed a target with Styris and a short period of joke cricket enabling Middesex to set Hants 330 in 70 overs.

Middlesex bowled well with the new ball; both new ball bowlers and Styris first change proving effective. Hants were clearly up for the chase and even after tea at 4 down tried to accelerate. But this Lord's wicket helps fast scoring almost as little as it helps wicket taking. And Silverwood is too good a bowler to try to cane that heavily. So Hants found themselves 170 for 7 with nearly 30 overs still to go. But then Pothas and Warne dug in to survive and pull off the draw.

Slow bowling by Middlesex cost us precious points unnecessarily, but on that note my irritation with the day ceases. The rest of this report is to be upbeat and positive. Those who cannot bear such a tone (in this undoubtedly poor season for the team) should stop reading now.


Early Arrival
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Mr Ladd Senior's 87th birthday coincided with the 4th day of the Hants match. Young Ged decided that his parents couldn't get beyond such a ripe age without ever seeing a cricket match. So, back in May, in an act of pure optimism (remember the Sussex debacle last year) Ged booked a lunchtime treat for his parents in the Warner Mezzanine for 11 August.

I arrived at the ground early, keen to have everything in place for the folks grand arrival. Mr Ladd senior had a nasty fall a number of weeks ago; this day was to be his first serious outing since then; much more ambitious than being taken to the physio or walking to the end of the garden and back.

People often talk about the MCC Stewards and staff at Lord's as being unfriendly and unhelpful. This is far removed from my recent experience. I have noticed that a few of the "old grumpy guard" have gone over the past few years; I think that the vast majority of the staff and stewards at Lord's on a county day are now very good and very helpful. That was certainly my experience yesterday, where offers of help and useful advice were abundant. That kindly attitude includes the gentleman who sells tickets at the side of the Grace Gate (who almost greets me like an old friend these days - I suppose I'm one of his better customers as I often bring guests), the stewards on the gate, the Middlesex staff, the stewards in the Pavilion and the staff in the Warner Mezzanine.


Va Va V8 0MM
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After buying my parent's tickets in advance, I'm making my way to the Pavilion when I hear a monstrous engine noise emanating from one of the cars parked in the courtyard. Now I'm not one to start rumours, not Ged, but what is Embers doing with a gazzilionaire's Ferrari and what is Emma doing in the passenger seat beside him laughing her head off? And why the number plate V8 0MM. Is this a wealthy illiterate's attempt to spell Vroom? Or a gazillionaire Buddhist, perhaps. I tried saying "omm", as instructed by monks in Tibet and Burma, but I couldn't get close to the level of vibration caused by the Ferrari's engine.

Too timid to confront Embers with the possibly irrefutable evidence that he must be taking at least half the Middlesex salary bill for himself to be able to afford one of those Ferrari monsters, Ged, your intrepid reporter, confronted Emma instead. Sadly, the truth of the matter was far less interesting; a rich mate of John's was letting him play with his Ferrari for the day. Still, the Ferrari had pride of place in that courtyard all day and I think at times more people were looking at the Ferrari than looking at the cricket. Ged's scoop bit the dust.


Watching Warne
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Thursday night I had time to come and see the end of play and sat behind Shane Warne's arm for over an hour. Friday morning, knowing the folks weren't due to arrive for another 30-40 minutes, I sat in the Pav and watched him from in front of his arm. It really is a wonderful thing to be able to sit in exactly the spot of your choice watching a player of that quality bowling live. I should add, by the way, that I think Ed Smith and Ed Joyce played Warne extremely well on Thursday and Friday. The man is a legend and was bowling really well. Forget the joke runs that Ed Smith made at the end of the innings - he deserved them really; his first 100 was worth 150 when you consider the quality of bowling he neeeded to see off to get there.


A Couple of Wickets and Joke Bowling
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As soon as I got paged by my mother and went towards the gate to meet the folks, a couple of wickets fell. Joyce and Styris. It was to be that sort of day. I took the parents into the Long Room and sat them down for the famous "Long Room view" of the cricket. The match was moving along pretty slowly. 3 or 4 minutes later, I see Warney coming our way. I explain hurriedly to my folks that this man is a living legend, but neither of them have heard of him! The grumpy gent sitting in the high chair behind us makes an audible disapproving snort noise. Mum asks if it would be appropriate to congratulate Warny, on his return, for the achievements I have just described to her. I suggest that he has probably had enough adulation and will be able to get by without hers.

I then explain to them why I thought he'd come off (agreement) and what was going to happen next (joke bowling), which seemed ridiculously complicated and silly to the parents (understandably). Soon Nic Pothas is bowling. I explain that he is the wicket keeper and doesn't normally bowl. I also explain that he is an eccentric who wears different coloured underpants depending on whether he is batting, keeping or training. I wonder whether he even has a bowling colour of underpants and whether he had the opportunity to change into them. Even Mr Snortnoise seems to approve of this joke.

We went on a slow tour of the Pavilion and then to the roof terrace, by which time the joke bowling was almost over and after a couple of very silly balls the declaration came and the folks enjoyed a peaceful 10 minutes on the roof terrace with their pre lunch drinks uninterrupted by cricket.


Real Bowling
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I suggest that we watch one over of the real bowling before starting to make our way to the Warner Mezzanine (it's a long, slow process these days), so of course we miss Chad taking the first wicket. We get ourselves sat down in the restaurant in time to see the last over before lunch. Mum reckons she can tell the difference between the joke bowling and the real bowling. Dad admits that he can't.

Fine meal in the Warner Mezzanine. Mum and dad more in their element now, especially before the cricket starts again! Then, soon after the cricket does start again, a fine catch in the deep by Edo Smith. Crawley furious with himself. Mum enjoyed that one. Dad was looking at his duck, not looking at the cricket. There's irony for you.

Between main course and desert, Dad toddles off to the loo. I tell him he can watch the cricket while he has his pee in the Warner Mezzanine loo. He comes back very disappointed, claiming that you cannot see the cricket out of those windows; they're too high. Desert and coffee. Well, we need another wicket by now so in the spirit of support and also science I have a go myself. I have of course forgotten that I always had about 3 inches of height on him and now, as age has reduced his a little, a few more. Yes, I can see out of that window just fine and for the first time in my life I see a wicket fall while I pee - Adams cJoyce bStyris. (Too much detail for some of you I imagine but there you go.....). Soon after that, Benham also falls to Styris so Middlesex are looking well set 87/4.


All good things must come to an end
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But all good things must come to an end. Thornley and Pothas bring the small spate of wickets to an end and it's also time for Ma and Pa to go, just before tea. They had a lovely time at Lord's. Who knows, perhaps they'll come again.

The sun comes out during tea, so I wander over to the Upper Edrich to enjoy the last session in the sunshine. Not much sunshine remains in the day, as it turns out, but there was a small spate of wickets straight after tea. Silverwood's spell was especially impressive - I imagined Pothas needing his brown underpants for that spell. Weekes also bowled well. Styris possibly underbowled himself that session.

About 90 minutes with just 3 wickets to get leads me to hope for a Middlesex win at last. But it wasn't to be. That man Warne once again (perhaps for the last time) dashing my hopes and dreams at Lord's.

I think this was a fine match and a fine performance by Middlesex in the circumstances. It is hard to win at Lord's. Hants are a strong team. We were bowling without a key player (Rymps) and were competitive throughout the match. And whatever happens the rest of this season, there's still next season to look forward to and super days like these at Lord's.

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