There�s Nothing Like a Day of Competitive Cricket

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First session

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Like a fool, I had arranged to meet Big Jeff at 10:50, having forgotten that September matches start half-an-hour earlier than usual..� Rather than confuse matters by calling Jeff the night before, I decided to let the arrangement stand.� Well prepared this morning (for once), I got to the ground for 10:30 and watched the first 4 overs of play from the Upper Allen before going back out to meet Big Jeff.� Silverwood was bowling well.

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Big Jeff and I go back a long way.� We batted out a particularly tricky 12-15 overs in a charity match a few years ago achieving personal and partnership milestones in the process.� Jeff is a Northants man, who suffered the indignity of watching Northants struggle to bowl out Middlesex in 2004 while Northants were hurtling down the 1^st Division tubes.� Some readers will remember the bowling performance of a certain Northants pace bowler named J-Louw during that match and also a maiden ton for a certain B-Scott on the very day that Big Jeff came as my guest for that match.

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Still, like a fool, I thought that toddling off to collect Jeff might induce a wicket.� Then I thought that going to the bar to get the first beer of the day might induce a wicket.� But nothing was going to induce a wicket this morning.� Nothing.

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Silverwood�s bowling was good and luckless.� I am only going to say positive things about the bowling this morning, so that�s all that I�m going to say about the bowling this morning.

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Jeff suggested that Notts might finish the day with 400.� I suggested 500.�

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Big Jeff also suggested that MCC and MCCC members must be midget-dwarfs, because he found the upper tier structure so difficult to navigate without banging his head.� Once navigated, though, and in our seats, the beer went down very nicely indeed.

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Lunch

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Mr Perambulate was our announcer for the day, but no mention of perambulation today � no-siree.� He informed us in his prolonged, thespian tones that the playing surface had been treated and we therefore had to keep off.� Treated to what? I mused.� Ice cream?� A nice frothy beer?� It certainly had not been treated to a competitive game of cricket this morning.

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Big Jeff and I perambulated round to Harry Morgan�s in St John�s Wood High Street to collect a deli lunch, to be washed down with a rather classy bottle of red vino I happened to bring with me.

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Afternoon

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We brought our deli spoils back to the Compo Upper and took our lunch up there, hunkering down for a sunny afternoon session.� The weather really was top notch � sunny but not too hot.� Play soon resumed.� (I think it is OK to call it play.� I couldn�t honestly say �the contest soon resumed�.� But �play soon resumed�, that�s OK).

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Big Jeff and I started to discuss Africa.� Big �Papa Zambesi� Jeff is an old Africa hand having spent several years in Zambia.� The boy �Baby Zambesi� Chris, who was born out there, is a chip off the old block Africa-hand-wise.� Perhaps Chris ought to play for Middlesex given that he is named Chris and was born in Africa, both major qualifications for Middlesex these days.� Chris doesn�t actually play cricket, but that might well be a third qualification at the moment.�

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Turns out that �Baby Zambesi� Chris is doing a bit of import/export, buying/selling, project management and that sort of thing, �Out of Africa� as they say.� It all seemed a bit diverse and complicated, but I did catch a remark about selling agrochemicals to middle-eastern countries which sounded potentially alarming.�

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More or less on cue, a helicopter starts hovering over Lord�s and will not go away.� What are they looking for, we wonder.� A missing person perhaps?� Surely not the father of a chap trading agrochemicals between Africa and the Middle East?� And most certainly not hovering up there to watch a game of competitive cricket.

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At this point, perhaps stirred up by the helicopter or perhaps by happenstance, one of the empty plastic bags from our lunch takes on a life of its own and starts blowing around.� At first it just blows along our row, but then it blows back in my direction and then leaps in the direction of the playing area.� I jump forward as best I can to try and catch it, but anyone who has played cricket with me, not least Big Jeff, can tell you that I do not take catches under pressure.

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The bag hurtles towards the field of play and then, as rapidly as it ascended, it of course descends onto the playing area.� Oh no!� Doesn�t it know that the playing area has been treated?� Jeff cannot contain his laughter and keeps telling me that the whole crowd is looking at me and pointing at me.� I can barely contain my laughter either.� One of the fielders (Compo I think) grabs the bag and takes it to the safety of his little drink cart across the boundary.� If you are reading this, good sir, may I have my plastic bag back, please, next time I see you?

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Soon after, Chris Wright executes a fine run out.� Smith�s gone, they�re three down and Middlesex are now totally back in the hunt.� Big Jeff and I agree that the run out looks like the only way Middlesex will get a wicket and in particular the only way that young Chris Wright will get a wicket.� Although we also agree that Silverwood has again bowled without luck and was the only one who looked like he might just take a wicket.

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But more or less as soon as we had established that no-one but no-one was going to get a conventional wicket, J-Louw cleans up David Hussey.� Middlesex near as dam-it on top, in my dreams.

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We celebrate in the run-up to tea with some chocolate ginger biscuits, very nice, which help us to drain the last remaining drops of the red vino.

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Evening All

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Fleming looked so set, but soon after tea and totally against the run of play hit one of Chris Wright�s square pies (�4 at all good Lord�s food outlets) straight to Ed0 while on 192.� Fleming deserved a double ton, to be truthful, it was a truly fine knock.

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But Middlesex are specialising in fine knocks this year (feeding them you understand, not making them) and young Samit Patel was just getting started.

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At this stage Big Jeff and I decided that it was time for our evening beer, so we went back to the Pavilion.� And in another first for Ged, while buying the beers, I saw Wright get Ealham out LBW on the CCTV.� (This was a first for me in the sense of witnessing a wicket on the CCTV, you understand, not a first in terms of buying my fair share of the beer).

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But then Samit and Franks really cashed in. �It perhaps speaks volumes that Ben resorted to Ace in these circumstances and let�s just say that we don�t often see 26 runs scored off a single over.� I just hope the umpires checked the condition of that match ball after the 3 sixes contained therein and don�t start asking nasty questions about the state of the ball.� That ball suffered.� Middlesex fans all suffered.�

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Big Jeff then complained that I was taking it all with good heart and good humour, whereas he had been hoping for morbidity, feeble excuses and a great opportunity to tease the living sh*t out of me.� Having been brought up to be relentlessly hospitable to guests, I tried to help.� After all, moderating MTWD I had a fair amount of morbid and feeble excuse material that I could readily call to mind.� �Bad toss to lose, several umpiring decisions have gone the wrong way, bowling attack decimated with injuries.�..�.� But Big Jeff knew that I was just saying it to try and make him happy, so wasn�t going to waste his breath on teasing me.

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Big Jeff was so wrong when he estimated 400 as the close of play score.� And I was so wrong when I estimated 500.� 601/6 at stumps.� Samit 150+* and he might well make the double ton that Fleming didn�t.�

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I get some stick from some MTWD readers for saying that I enjoy my day even when Middlesex do badly, but I�m afraid it is true. I love watching 1^st class cricket and I love spending days at Lord�s.� Of course I enjoy it more when Middlesex perform well (I think I prefer it, it�s getting hard to remember things that happened so long ago), but I still enjoy it even when we�re dire.�

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I�m resigned to the fact that we�ll be playing 2^nd division cricket next year but it really is where we deserve to be just now.� And I do believe that Middlesex can make the changes needed to bounce back quickly.� And Division 2 for a while does at least mean that Big Jeff and I will get to see our teams playing against each other again.� I might even take a day at Wantage Road, Northampton next year and let Big Jeff host me.� It might just be a game of competitive cricket.� Or if not, it might just be Middlesex on top.