I recall very little about this two-day visit. Perhaps it was the excitement of the Olympic summer that made this match pale, because looking at the scorecard the match was an absolute cracker:
I can’t even work out who joined me on the Friday; I think Janie came with me both days in the end. I can only find one e-mail, to Ian Theodoreson, quite late in the day, explaining that I had clean forgotten to sort out this match in all the excitement. He had to decline.
I recall arranging to meet Heinrich Groenewald and perhaps one or two others from his entourage during intervals, so I guess they had sorted themselves out with tickets way ahead. I know Janie was with me for those gatherings, which is one of the reasons I’m coming round to the idea that she joined me for both days that time.
I vaguely recall sitting in the Edrich Upper (or perhaps the Compton Upper) with Janie for this match. I think this might have been one of the occasions we had our ears bent by a pair of former Reuters journalists, who told us exactly the same old stories the second time as they had a year or two earlier, without twigging that we had sat next to them and heard their stories before. But whether this match was the first time or the second time we endured that pair I cannot recall. I think the second time…
But what a match (the 2012 one). Bitterly disappointing for England that they couldn’t quite turn things round and level the series, but on balance I think South Africa were the stronger side (just) at that time.
Yup, I blame the London 2012 Olympics for suppressing most of my memory of this one; unusually blank for me, this.
Our little group for this day of test cricket comprised Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett, Mac Small (who used to look after our cars, Noddy & Nobby, at Ruislip Honda), me and Daisy.
Daisy and I both recall that I was on picnic duty that day, so I no doubt did the smoked salmon bagels thing, plus probably some ham and cheese rolls or something of that ilk.
Everyone brought their wine/beer ration which made for a jolly day in the spring sunshine. Not “o-t ‘ot” but certainly “very very warm for May”. We were either in the Upper Compton or the Upper Edrich – I cannot remember which. Good seats, I do remember.
Mac hails originally from Barbados. Charley seemed convinced that Mac must be related to the great Gladstone Small. Indeed Chas failed to hide his extreme disappointment when Mac informed him, rather emphatically, that he and Gladstone were not related. Mac and Chas spoke little after that.
In truth, Mac is a fairly quiet chap and seemed to be enjoying his day at Lord’s in a rather Zen style, while Chas and I chatted incessantly about cricket, as usual. Daisy drifted between a quiet state and joining in the conversation.
England were doing rather well, it has to be said. We saw Andrew Strauss score a ton, which was always a bonus for us, especially for Daisy, who single-handedly revived Straussy’s career with a pep talk back in 2008 – a matter to be Ogblogged in the fullness of time.
We vaguely recall that Mac left a little earlier than the rest of us, but not very early. Daisy and I are pretty sure Mac enjoyed his day, as afterwards he often referred to it, in only positive tones.
I hadn’t thought about this before, but Graham seems to be a bit of a rainmaker, if the story of his 2011 and 2017 visits to Lord’s might be deemed to be a reasonably-sized sample.
We only got just over half a day’s play on the Thursday; quite slow stuff at that.
Whereas Janie and I got a giant-sized day of cricket on the Friday, with fair weather and a Kevin Petersen double-hundred.
Thank you very much indeed for an excellent day at the cricket. I thoroughly enjoyed it and it was a very welcome distraction from the office. I am only sorry our enjoyment was cut short by the rain.
I will follow the remainder of the match with extra interest.
I replied to his message by saying:
It was a pleasure and was good to see you. Janie felt badly on Friday that she and I did so much better weatherwise that day!
For those who have the stomach to look (i.e. most often neutrals and Surrey fans for these occasions), actually it looks as thought his was a pretty good match, despite the fact that I must have missed quite a fair chunk of it – click here for the scorecard and reports.
One extra bit of evidence on who, from “Ged Ladd & Co”, attended that time, in addition to “The Tiberellis”, comes from Jez’s e-mail to me a few week’s before the match:
Mark
Monique
Steph
Ben
Rich
David
Simon Strez would also like to come as it’s his last chance to see a cricket game in England before returning home to New Zealand. I also have 3 friends that will be coming to the game.
Janie and I were supposed to go with Hari and Mawju, both Sri Lankan people we know, Hari from the Lloyd’s bank in Ealing and Mawju from the Atari-Ya Japanese fishmongers (long story, don’t ask).
Also don’t ask why Mawju didn’t turn up and didn’t call to excuse himself or return his ticket.
Anyway, we had a very pleasant day at the cricket with Hari, who loved our picnic and we loved the cake he brought from home as his offering. It all sounds a bit TMS commentary box, doesn’t it? In some ways it was.
The match had been badly rain-affected the day before so we got an elongated day on the Monday. England did very well to turn a seemingly nailed-on draw into a possible winning position by the end of the day, although we had a sneaking suspicion that it would end up a draw anyway.
Unusually the first day of a Lord’s test match on a Friday.
That day I went with Charles “Charley The Gent Malloy” Bartlett, Ian “Iain Spellright” Theodoreson and Mark “Uncail Marcas” Yeandle.
The following extract from my e-mail to Mark and Chas the day before reveals the expectation of a very hot day:
Weather looks set fair for tomorrow.
Please could you both bring plenty of water with you. I’ll have my hands full and Ian T was muttering about “fancy juices” as his contribution to the soft drink side of things, but I think we might all need good old fashioned (still) H2O. Especially given the weather and the picnic I have planned.
Don’t forget your booze rations also – as if I had to remind you about that!…
Mark threatened (and saw through his threat) to bring some Frittenden strawberries with him. His strawberry offering the previous year had gone down an absolute treat. If you look closely at the picture of Charles below from that report, you can make out the colour and shape of a Frittenden strawberry. The 2011 batch was delicious, but I believe the 2010 batch was “peak strawberry”.
Click the photo or the link below to see that May 2010 match reported in full
A few years later there was a potentially ugly fruit incident, as Ian and Mark were reunited with me at the test on the same day. Mark brought famous Frittenden strawberries while Ian brought a giant bag of plump cherries that he had been unable to resist en route. This competitive soft fruit showdown could have been very bloody indeed, but it mercifully led only to MAD (mutually assured delectation):
Back to planning for a very hot June day in 2011. Chas wrote back threatening to soak me in factor 30 sunscreen.
I don’t recall the exact nature of Ian T’s fancy juices, but I think they might have been the flavoured water variety, which does work rather well on a ludicrously hot day.
Ian T seems to specialise in weather extremes when he comes to Lord’s with me. Our 2014 visit (which will eventually be published on King Cricket, I believe) was one of the hottest days I ever remember at Lord’s and Ian nearly melted.
I suspect that I was quite careful with the booze, because I was going to see a late night concert of Paco Peña at the Wigmore Hall after stumps. I suspect that all of us were a bit careful with the booze, partly because it was a very hot day.
I do recall this one, despite the heat, being an especially enjoyable, dreamy day at Lord’s. England were hot off the back of an away Ashes win and had even won the first test of the summer the previous week. What could ever, possibly go wrong again for the England test team?
Picture borrowed from Quandoo – click the pic to see that website.
Mum was especially keen on this Balham eatery towards the end of her time at Woodfield Avenue. It was conveniently close to the house too, so I would sometimes pick her up and take her to The French Cafe for dinner. This was one of those occasions.
8 September: Middlesex CCC Kit Sponsors Party
Daisy came along this time around – a rare visit to one of these parties by her. I seem to recall that the event had been especially good the year before and my report had triggered a “may I come to one of those?” question to which the answer was, “of course you may!”
I think this one was in the press bat of the old Warner Stand, if my memory serves me well.
I think this was the evening we spent quite a lot of time chatting with the late, lamented Derek “The Diamond” Britain and some members of his family. We also chatted with some of the players, nibbled at food and drank wine.
9 September: Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner
Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinners had been going for just over 10 years by then. In fact, I missed the 10th anniversary one, in June. I am writing this soon after the 20th anniversary one was wiped out by the Covid lockdown in the spring of 2020.
The headline photo was circulated by John Random ahead of that June 2010 get together, which I missed. So I never discovered the context of the regal look. Perhaps John, feeling a little insecure, wanted to assert his authority with regard to our gathering.
Anyway. he was certainly in charge in September and circulated some more pictures and bants:
“The lovely Victoria”, as John describes her.
Many thanks to all those who came out to the Cafe Rouge on Thursday. If you weren’t there you were either sorely missed or we all slagged you off behind your back. No, seriously. We had a good turn-out, including – may I say – the Three Graces in the form of the lovely Harriet, the lovely Victoria and the lovely Jasmine, who is not only lovely but can show you all how to save up to 10% on Travelodge. Harriet came in her pyjamas. OK, with some pyjamas. In a bag. From La Senza. Anyway, it’s not often we have so many women come to the Ivan Shakespeares and I hope this trend continues.
Personal highlight of the evening, though was Keith Wickham reading out the scores to the quiz in the voice of James Mason.
Finally, Where Are They Now No. 127: Mark Flitton spotted on location in legal drama Silk playing the owner of a dangerous dog. Many of you will have fond memories of Mark in Noel’s wonderful Smoking Doctors sketch. He also went to Edinburgh for us and performed in both the Newsrevue show and Whoops Vicar.
Mark Flitton with John RandomColin Stutt
I do recall Keith Wickham’s James Mason impression that evening. I have always liked his James Mason, but there was something about Keith reading out the quiz scores in the style of James Mason that especially tickled me and I do remember giggling a lot. Perhaps it was the fourth glass of vino wot dunnit.
Anyway, as always a fun evening with the NewsRevue alums.
14 September: Middlesex CCC Forum & Party & The Robert Browning
I must be honest and admit that I remember very little about this particular forum and party, other than ending up at the Robert Browning Pub with Barmy Kev and others, where we continued the libations and played bar billiards until chucking out time.
Coincidentally, the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinners were, for a while, held at the Robert Browning, until the inhospitable nature of the place (last orders for food were taken ridiculously early) drove us across the way to Cafe Rouge.
In 2010, mum would have been there, as would Michael and Dorothy, me, Janie, Hils and possibly some special guest stars, such as Jacquie’s grandson Josh. Mum might even have had a sleepover at Jacquie’s that year; I think she did that once or twice after dad and Len had died.
The 2010 spread would have looked much like the 2016 spread depicted. But the winner of the award that year has been lost in the mists of time.
Another day of county championship cricket at Lord’s that needs a bit of explaining.
Michael Mainelli and I had formed a bit of a tradition that, each year, we’d spend a few hours at Lord’s watching first class cricket and chatting strategically/laterally/crazily about our business, Z/Yen.
In earlier years, before such sessions took place at Lord’s, we called them “Stiermerde sessions”, not that bullshit came into it…of course it didn’t. Once such sessions were at Lord’s, we called them “Stumpfmerde sessions” instead.
Michael must have enjoyed it because his e-mail that evening included:
Great Stumpfmerde and thank you…
My response included:
Indeed I have cleared my e-mails and shall down tools. But I couldn’t do so before scribbling and uploading today’s match report.
Very enjoyable day. And productive Stumpfmerdwise and bookwise too.
Oh, and you really did miss lots of excitement by leaving early – 6 wickets in the last hour, five of them to the youngster Toby Roland-Jones who is the product of your charming neighbour’s brother at the Middlesex Academy. What a happy coincidence!
I must say that it had completely escaped my memory that I witnessed that exceptional breakthrough performance by Toby Roland-Jones on a Stumpfmerde day – in my mind I would have completely separated the two events.
Paul Deacon, taken a few week’s earlier at England v Bangladesh
The Pakistan cricket team had just started their 10+ year sojourn following a terror incident in their homeland. England hosted a couple of neutral tests and I was keen to sample the delights at Lord’s.
To join me that day, Paul Deacon (this was to be his last hurrah of test cricket before he and his family went into self-imposed exile to Canada) along with Mat and Tim from the gym.
Paul clearly enjoyed himself at the neutral match but did not take (or at least did not post) any photos on the second visit. The headline picture and the one below are from the Bangladesh day.
But Paul did write this:
Hi Ian
just to say another big thank you for a fantastic day at Lord’s. Thoroughly enjoyed it. A nice tumble of wickets today!
Will fix a time for us + partners to meet up for a meal. Do you like Indian? Chinese? Thai? Or all 3 on one plate even?
Ahead of the impending Z/Yen cricket matches that season (which ended up being scaled back to a pairs tournament in Kensington Memorial Park), Steph Rochford was keen to have a go at the Lord’s academy and I was keen to encourage same.
Here is a summary from our extended correspondence a few weeks earlier:
At the moment it looks like you, me, Jez, Ben, Alex and little Si. Thanks, Steph
From: Ian Harris Sent: 07 June 2010 15:57 To: Stephanie Rochford Subject: RE: Cricket Nets?
Steph
Booked for the 6th – two nets and one coach.
Try not to overextend the numbers – 3 or 4 people in each net is the “sensible maximum” if everyone is going to get a decent go, so 6 to 8 for the two nets.
Don’t forget that you’ll need to sort out protective gear if you are going to have a go at keeping – helmet should be easy in any half-decent sports shop but “abdominal protectors” and the like for women cricketers are probably only available at shops that specialize in cricket quite a bit. Unlike the helmet (which you really do need to try on and make sure is right for you), you could probably get those other bits and pieces on the web. Keepers gloves and keepers pads we have in the Z/Yen kit.
Best
Ian
In the end I think it was about half-a-dozen of us in the nets and jolly good fun it was too. I think Steph might have abandoned her wicket-keeping ambitions quite quickly but I think she did sensibly procure an abdominal guard.
The other thing I remember very clearly about the evening was a gathering of about 10 of us in The Star – a now late lamented pub in St John’s Wood. Four or five Z/Yen people gathered there and were waiting for those of us from the cricketing party who fancied some libations after our net.
The soccer world cup was going on at the time. Alexandra Flynn, who has some Uruguayan extraction, was “put through the wringer” by Steph with regard to a controversial moment a few day’s earlier. At one point during her monologue, Steph, more or less without pausing for breath, said words to the effect of:
…oh my goodness I’ve just heard myself sounding off about this – I’d better stop right now…
…which came across to me as very self-aware, in a eureka moment sort of way. There was much myrth about that and indeed throughout the evening, which I remember fondly as a very pleasant few hours with the Z/Yen team.
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