Dinner With Michelle & Neil At My Place, 31 July 1993

If the previous week had been a bit of a theatre-fest for Janie…

…the following week was a bit of an Ian’s-old-friends-from-Uni-fest for her, as we followed up an evening with Annalisa and Annie with a dinner at my place with Michelle Epstein (then Infield) and Neil Infield.

The diary is silent on what I served. Probably my Chinese specialties but you never know.

I’m sure it was a very pleasant evening.

I think it was the first time that Janie met those two. The next time I think was out in Sussex at their place.

The Orange Penguin by John Random, Risk Theatre, 30 July 1993

This period of 1993 was “peak Random”, with John perennially, heavily involved in NewsRevue (where he helped to get my comedy writing career going the year before) and also his show Sex In My Anorak, which had played in June.

Then, just a few weeks after “Sex”, a London production of John’s play from the previous year’s Edinburgh Festival, The Orange Penguin.

It had been well received, at least by The Independent it had – click here…

…or if that page goes walkies, try this scrape.

The theatre was a sort-of public hall in Hoxton, near to Annie Bickerstaff’s place. Janie and I went to see this play along with Annalisa and Annie. We all very much enjoyed the play. I think we ended up back at Annie’s place for dinner after the show.

It was my first ever sighting of Brian Jordan, who was known to me because he had taken The Ultimate Love Song to Edinburgh in his show Whoops Vicar, Is That Your Dick? at the same time that John took The Orange Penguin (with Iain Angus Wilkie in the lead).

Anyway, it was a very good evening, our evening in Hoxton seeing The Orange Penguin.

I wonder whether John still has the script and whether he thinks it might be time for a revival?

Who Do You Talk To, John Major?, NewsRevue Lyric, 27 July 1993

I don’t remember this one being used in NewsRevue, but neither do I recall it being rejected.

There were lots of songs and sketches about the Prime Minister at that time though and I’m not convinced this was among the best of them. One or two good lines, though.

WHO DO YOU TALK TO JOHN MAJOR


(A Quickie To the Tune of “Where Do You Go To My Lovely”)
 
VERSE 1
 
You talk like one of the Daleks,
And you dance like Coco the Clown;
Your clothes are from Marks and Spencer,
And you’ll soon bring this Government down;
(Yes you will).
 
VERSE 2
 
You live in a Georgian Terrace,
Down in Whitehall’s Downing Street;
And although you’ve been leader for ages,
You still haven’t quite found your feet;
(Or your brains or your balls).
 
CHORUS
 
Who do you talk to John Major,
When your recorder is off?
Swear when reporters surround you,
And then why don’t you just piss off.

Below is a video of Peter Sarstedt singing Where Do You Go To My Lovely with the lyrics on the screen:

The Snarling Cabbie, NewsRevue Lyric (Probably Unused) , 27 July 1993

No wonder this lyric wasn’t used in a topical show. Writing about it more than 25 years later, March 2019, I’d only need to change a word or two to make it perfectly relevant today.

I might just do that…

THE SNARLING CABBIE


(To the Tune of “The Laughing Policeman”)
 
VERSE 1
 
PASSENGER:I know a snarling cabbie,
He really is irate;
He drives around old London town,
And gets into a state.
His black cab cuts up traffic,
He loves to shake his fist;
So people call him wanker,
On account of his firm wrist.
 
CHORUS 1
 
TAXI DRIVER:South of London? not this driver,
Now it’s time to pay.
Four pound fifty, change a fiver?
I’ve no change today.
You’ll get coated with saliva,
When I turn and say;
I aint got no sales slips neither,
Get out of me way.
 
VERSE 2
 
PASSENGER:Now folk who live in London,
Have had their fill of flack;
They hire the scabs in minicabs,
And not the taxis black.
But people went half round the bend,
Because alas alack;
The mini-cabbies snarl’s as bad,
Cos their trade’s also slack.
 
CHORUS 2
 
MINI-CABBIE:Business better?  Not in this town,
Cabbing’s now the pits;
Bleedin’ Tories, getting me down,
John Major’s a git.
Had that geezer Paddy Ashdown,
Do a back seat flit;
PASSENGER:I’ll get round by underground and dodge this heap of shit.

The embedded video below has Charles Jolly (Penrose) singing The Laughing Policeman:

If you want to read the lyrics to The Laughing Policeman, click here.

Kim & Micky’s Party, 25 July 1993

Janie had been on a bit of a theatre-fest that week. Bish Bash Bosh with me on the Thursday…

…The Questors Theatre with her mum on the Friday night (production not named in the diary), while I played bridge with Daniel and friends that night.

Then we both went to see Oleanna on the Saturday – that was a wow evening…

…so Kim & Micky’s early evening party (starting at 5.00) was probably a bit of an antidote to all that.

Was this the one during which Victor gave me and Janie (especially Janie) the benefit of his wisdom about relationships? I have a feeling it was. It went down about as well as the Professor character in Oleanna touching his student on the shoulder. Oh well.

But the party would have been a swinging one, with plenty of people, good food, fine wines and lots of fun. Just the ticket ahead of early starts for both of us on the Monday morning.

Oleanna by David Mamet, Royal Court Theatre, 24 July 1993

These days (he says, writing more than 25 years later), I do most of the running with regard to booking theatre. But back then, Janie was more proactive.

There are notes in her diary from weeks before, working out when this was going to open and when we might be available. Then, for the day itself (as one might now find in my diary) notes on exactly which seats she’d booked (Row J) and how long the play might be (8:00 to 10:10).

For sure I would have been a willing participant in seeing the latest Mamet – I had been a bit of a Mamet fan for years by 1993. David Suchet and Lia Williams? yes please. Harold Pinter directing? just tell me where I need to go and when. Here is a link to the Theatricalia entry.

I remember it being a very good production of an extremely powerful play. Here is a link to the Wikipedia entry on the play.

It was in fact a very controversial play and Mamet had written more than one ending for it. There was much debate in the press.

Below is Michael Billington’s review:

Billington's Review Of OleannaBillington’s Review Of Oleanna Fri, Jul 2, 1993 – 37 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Here are links to The Guardian with some fascinating opinions published the following week:

Oleanna OpinionsOleanna Opinions Wed, Jul 7, 1993 – 20 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

<ore Oleanna Opinions<ore Oleanna Opinions Wed, Jul 7, 1993 – 21 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Finally, here is Michael Coveney’s review.

Michael Coveney On OleannaMichael Coveney On Oleanna Sun, Jul 4, 1993 – 56 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

This was a stunning, unforgettable night at the theatre; Janie and I are privileged to have seen this production.

Bish Bash Bosh, NewsRevue Spin Off In Willesden, Opening Night, 22 July 1993

I have written a short piece about Bish Bash Bosh when I uncovered my submission sheet for that show – no need to repeat myself – click here or below:

On 22 July, Janie joined me and “others” for the opening night. Quite a stalwart was Janie in those days.

Harriet Quirk writes about that opening night on the NewsRevue Facebook group – click here for link:

I remember it well ! Rory Bremner came along to the first show with unfortunately only about 10 other people!…

…so that’s Rory, Janie, me, Harriet and possibly six others. We might be anble to name the whole audience if we put our minds to it. Harriet continues…

We were asked to put on shows at a venue in Willesden by a big Newsrevue fan and after lots of deliberation could only come up with Bish Bash Bosh as a name. Unfortunately it didn’t take off 😢

I responded:

The place was a dive if I remember correctly. I must interrogate Janie about it and see what she remembers. I do recall her not liking the place and forming a strong view that Newsrevue wouldn’t work there. 

Yup, that’s just about all she remembers.

I wonder whether anyone has the running order for that show. The only artifact that provides more clues I scraped from a comedy collective site some months ago – good job I scraped it because it has now gone. I have thus preserved one of Ivan Shakespeare’s classic songs – The Subsidy Song – for posterity. It was for sure in this Bish Bash Bosh show. Here’s the link again – enjoy.

That sheet confirms the Bish Bash Bosh cast…and what an excellent cast it was – scraped below with spellings/misspellings intact:

Jonathon Linsley, Paul Dietch, Paula Tappenden, Virginie Gilchrist and Una McNulty

Lunch With My Parents, Royal Garden Hotel Kensington, 18 July 1993

As if a rather disastrous night out to see (half of) Hedda Gabler wasn’t enough for one weekend…

…we were at mine that weekend and were joined at lunchtime by my parents. I’m pretty sure this was the first time Janie met them.

My vague recollection is that this particular gathering went fine and that it was the next time around that mum was rude to Janie and then phoned to apologise as soon as she got home…

…but maybe it was this occasion. Janie is sure the rude incident occurred at my place, but then we might have gathered at my place before or after The Royal Garden.

Sunday lunch at The Royal Garden was a good choice for my folks. It was always a buffet, each week on a different theme. Janie and I eschew such things now, but in those days lots of our friends liked them and for big/fussy eaters such as dad and mum (respectively), such buffets were a good idea. Dad could always indulge himself and mum could always find at least something she liked.

Mum and Dad 15 years earlier – they were in colour by 1993

Hedda Gabler by Henrik Ibsen, Holland Park, 17 July 1993

There’s nothing like a good production of an Ibsen play…

…and this was nothing like a good production of an Ibsen play.

It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

Janie and I had not yet seen any Ibsen play together and Janie had never seen Hedda Gabler and it was summer and the idea of theatre in the park sounded lovely.

As it happens, I had seen a very good Hedda (Lindsay Duncan) at Hampstead a few years earlier, but I thought I could never get too much Hedda.

My log simply says:

It was so poor we walked at half time

This might have been the first time Janie and I “walked” together at half time.

On reminding Janie recently (December 2019) about this particular evening she simply said:

OMG it was dreadful

In truth, Janie and I had a tough search for a truly good Hedda. Richmond Theatre (previewing a West End Francesca Annis Hedda) in 1999 was a bit of a staid production. It wasn’t until 2005, Richard Eyre’s production at the Almeida (Eve Best as Hedda) that I thought Janie had seen a good enough production to be able to claim that we had both done Hedda.

So I’ve done four Heddas…in fact I think I might have seen a small town Hedda in my student days, making it five. As Judge Brack puts it:

Good God – people don’t do such things.

Do You Know the Way To St Tropez, NewsRevue Lyric, 12 July 1993

This summertime special has a perennial quality to it, but I think it wasn’t much if at all used by NewsRevue; perhaps for that very reason.

I rather like it still and think it has some timely and reflective relevance in these #MeToo times – he says writing in October 2018.

DO YOU KNOW THE WAY TO ST TROPEZ?

(To the Tune of “Do You Know The Way To San Jose?”)

 

Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo, wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo;

VERSE 1 – GOLD DIGGERS OF 1993

Do you know the way to St Tropez,

We hope to find that France, gives us a chance to score today.

Do you know the way to St Tropez,

We’re going out to find, some rich gold mine in St Tropez.

MIDDLE BIT 1 – STILL THE GOLD DIGGERS

Juan is a great big freebie,

Find a wealthy guy and fly to Cannes,

In a week maybe two you’ll have a sun tan,

And some melanoma on the way;

And all the Sloanes are on their yachts,

And cruising gently round the bay.

 

VERSE 2 – LES FRENCH LADS

We were born and raised in St Tropez,

We’ve got a lot of cash, we’ll make a splash and have our way.

We can both get laid in St Tropez,

We find that English chicks, all want some kicks on holiday.

 

MIDDLE BIT 2 – ENCORE LES FRENCH LADS

We attract them like a magnet,

Screw a hundred, OK maybe ten,

They believe that we all are French noblemen,

When they learn the truth they will be sad;

The only count inside our pad,

Is counting all the girls we’ve had.

 

OUTRO

LES GIRLS:We both made a wrap in St Tropez,

Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo;

LES LADS:We both caught the clap in St Tropez,

Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo;

We both blew the works in St Tropez, (revealing empty pockets)

Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo;

LES GIRLS:We sponged off these burks in St Tropez,

Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo;

ALL:Wo.

Here is a video of Dionne Warwick singing Do You Know the Way To San Jose…

…while the following one also shows you the lyrics to that fine Hal David & Bert Bacharach song: