Alleyn Old Folk Take On The Old-School-Real-Tennis World, The Cattermull Cup, 11 & 12 April 2026

Me and Simon Barton in our Alleyn’s School shirts. Photo by Paul Cattermull

Soon after I started playing real tennis, in 2016, I ran into Paul Cattermull in the viewing gallery at Lord’s. Paul and I had worked together years before, at Binder Hamlyn. I told Paul that I was enjoying the game enormously but finding it really difficult.

But why, Ian? It’s a bit like cricket. Move your feet, get your head over the ball, watch the ball and keep your head still as you hit it…

Indeed, all the shortcomings and techniques I struggled with at cricket are also there to torment me in real tennis. But at least with tennis, if you make a mistake, you just lose one point. Well,15, if you are counting the time-honoured tennis way, but you get my meaning.

Technique wanting in 2016 and still

Actually it is more like fives than cricket – and at Alleyn’s I was just a bit more than OK at fives.

An Uneventful Day Playing Fives, 9 June 1975

Anyway, with perseverance and years of fun sporting activity, I have worked my way up the real tennis handicap charts to being very, very average at the game. Indeed, when the Tennis & Rackets Association re-based the handicaps last year, my doubles handicap straddled the median pre and post adjustment value of 55.

As I progressed from “absolute beginner” into “showing some progress towards ordinariness” category, Paul suggested that I find a fellow alum from Alleyn’s School to enter his eponymous “old school” handicap doubles tournament. It was a lovely idea, but for the absence of such an alum with whom to partner.

Then, in January 2025, just before I went into hospital to have my right hip replaced, I had an interesting locker-room chat with relative newbie Simon Barton, which I reported here, learning that Simon too went to Alleyn’s:

After Soccer At Alleyn’s: Barton Found In 2025, Plus Soccer-Free (Trying Hockey & Playing Fives) Remainder Of January 1975 For Me

Thus the plot was hatched and we agreed to attempt the tournament.

Simon is able to boast having had a single digit handicap and even now maintains a handicap of 14. Unfortunately for me and for our Cattermull Cup campaign, that’s his golf handicap. Simon’s real tennis handicap is in the 70s.

That makes the Cattermull Cup a tough ask for Alleyn’s. Simon’s handicap is above the cut off for this tournament and my limited ability will struggle to cover that shortfall. But we agreed that it would be good experience to give the tournament a go this year, albeit as the lowest ranked pair. We entered in hope, but not with expectation.

Alongside this uphill sporting endeavour, Simon and I have also formed a rather unusual, some might say ghoulish, connection over our avocational history research projects. I am looking at the MCC’s role in the development of cricket and tennis (real and lawn) in the mid to late 19th century, not least the extraordinary efforts of Robert Allan Fitzgerald. Meanwhile Simon, who is described by the website topdoctors.co.uk as an expert in sexual health, is, as one of his hobbies, researching the history of STDs in a similar period.

Parenthetically, biology teacher Tom Gascoigne would have been extremely proud of Simon’s post Alleyn’s medical achievements (as would Chris Liffen & John Clarke), despite Mr Gascoigne’s preference for researching sacoglossan penial styles rather than the penial afflictions of humans.

Robert Allan Fitzgerald, first paid Secretary of the MCC, 1863-1876. “Retired due to ill health” 1876 and died tragically young in 1881, a victim of tertiary syphilis.

I’m pretty sure that Mr Jenkins would have thoroughly approved of the unusual subject-matter in Simon’s and my history projects. With Mr Jenkins’s consent, I researched the 7th century origins of Islam for my third year history project and the 19th century origins of the cinema as my ‘O’ Level history project.

 Eadweard Muybridge – moving image pioneer. Mr Jenkins style of history favoured eccentric characters with unusual back-stories, especially chaps with fulsome beards

As Simon put it oh so succinctly after our third thrashing in three warm up matches in preparation for our tournament:

Simon Barton: Better on syphilis than at tennis…

…which I think is a great tag line.

As I have also been bringing Jacobethan music and drama to the world of real tennis of late…

Hampton Court, Tennis, Gresham, Music & Drama

…I might similarly go for:

Ian Harris: Better on Jacobethan music and drama than at tennis.

…but Simon’s poxy tag line is more infectious than mine.

Anyway, all the above blurb is merely a maxi preamble to my mini match report on the 2026 Cattermull Cup from the Alleyn’s School team perspective.

No Sets Please, We’re Alleyn’s: The Tournament Itself, Middlesex University Real Tennis Court

All the gear…

We were properly prepared. Simon procured a brace of Alleyn’s School tennis shirts, which went down well with the organisers. My choice of team name did not go down quite so well.

I had imagined that the teams had alum-oriented team names and that some of them might be imaginative and witty. But it turned out that “Alleyn Old Folk” was the only team with a waggish name.

We found ourselves in a group comprising Clifton (multiple former winners), Harrow 2 (Harrow are also multiple former winners), Highgate & Alleyn Old Folk.

Let us not delve too deeply into exactly what happened in our round robin group. Suffice it to say that we were not humiliated in any of our matches – no bagels and no breadsticks. Harrow prevailed in our group, deservedly so, winning all three of its rubbers.

When I called Janie before setting off for home, we had the following conversation:

JANIE: How did you get on?

ME: Not too bad – we came fourth in our group.

JANIE: That’s amazing! How many teams were there in your group?

ME: Four.

JANIE: Ah, not quite so amazing then. But did you enjoy yourselves?

ME: Of course we did.

As always with real tennis, it was a convivial yet competitive afternoon with a great bunch of people, many of whom I know well from other matches and tournaments. It was a great learning experience for both of us. In Simon’s case, his first taste of such a match/tournament against lower handicappers. In my case, the challenge of trying to find tactics that would give us a chance to win some games in the sets, as once you are in the mix with games on the board, anything can happen in a one-set-to-six shoot-out.

And there’s always next year, by which time, hopefully, Simon will have a bit more experience under his belt and a better (hopefully uncapped) handicap to bring to the party.

I am imagining what Simon’s and my sports masters would have to say about all of this.

Good on you, chaps. Fine sporting effort for the school. Keep trying.
Better luck next time.
Harris – would you please mark some matches for me on Tuesday?

Colin Page (1926-2021)
Messsrs Banson & Page watching on c1977

I told you both that you were utterly useless at sport.

Barry Banson (1933-2025)

Epilogue: The Finals

Janie & I played our traditional game of lawn an hour earlier than usual in order to get to Middlesex in reasonable time. At least I manged to scrape one set this weekend…just.

We arrived as the losing Sherborne pair were departing, bemoaning their narrow fate in a tight semi against Rugby (6-2, 6-5). On taking up our viewing positions, I asked one of the victors, Charles Whitworth, to encapsulate the Sherborne match in a few words:

Adrian Warburton’s devilish bobble serve,

came the reply.

We had arrived early in the second set of the second semi-final: Norwich School v Harrow 2. The Norwich School team comprised Tim Edwards, whom Janie and I got to know when we were in Newport Rhode Island for the World Championship last year…

US Trip 23 September to 8 October, Day Four: Cliff Walk, Tennis Talk, Museum Visit, Lawn On The Lawn & Dinner At Stoneacre Brasserie, Newport RI, 26 September 2025

…and Reuben Ard, whose finest ever performance on a tennis court so far, in my opinion, was his “electric virginals” rendition of The Earl Of Salisbury Pavan at The Royal Tennis Court during the 2023 Gresham Society Visit performance I organised and referenced earlier in this piece. The video below, thanks to Janie, really is a charming and atmospheric Elizabethan musical interlude.

Norwich’s opponents were Harrow 2, Sebastien Maurin & James Charatan, who had proved 2-much for me and Simon Barton the previous day in our group.

Harrow 2 also proved to be too much for Norwich in a close run match (6-5, 6-4), despite Reuben Ard’s relentless pounding of the grille and tambour. At one point he achieved a hat-trick of grille winners, which I have only ever witnessed once before, when Alex Gibson pulled off such a stunt in the 2023 MCC Club Weekend C/D Groups Final. Unfortunately there is no video evidence of Reuben’s achievement, which was rather more muscular than Alex’s, whereas the last two of Alex’s three grille shots are captured here:

I have ever since called that achievement the “Coup De Gibson”. I briefly considered changing the name now to “Coup D’Ard”, but that sounds more like something emanating from the manosphere than a real tennis achievement, so we’ll stick with Coup De Gibson.

Both semi-finals were played between pairs with vastly differing handicaps and were won by the pair that was receiving a significant handicap. The final was very different – just a four point difference separated the two – (Harrow received half 15 from Rugby).

It looked on paper as though it was going to be a tight match, but when it came to the action on plaster and wood and stone rather than paper…

…it was an incredibly tight match. I think at least half of the games went to 40-40. Certainly the first handful of games in each of the first two sets did so. It was compelling viewing and it was impossible to tell which way the match would go until the last few minutes, when the Rugby team applied one or two new tricks which did just enough to confound the Harrow pair. (5-6, 6-3, 6-4).

Callum Grier & Charles Whitworth of Rugby, receiving the trophy from Janie

Will Burns, James Charatan, Sebastien Maurin, Callum Grier, Charles Whitworth, Paul Cattermull & Jack Carter

It was an enjoyable watch in good company, as is real tennis’s way. Hopefully next year…or at least some year…I’ll be at The Cattermull Cup on finals day as a player rather than a spectator.

An Open Letter To Colm Holmes, Allianz UK CEO, Wondering Why, More Than Six Months After The Financial Ombudsman Ruled In My Favour In The Woodfield Avenue Subsidence Case (2019 To Present Day), I Am Still Fighting A Wall Of Silence, 6 April 2026

Happier times with a wall, c60 years ago: Our House…

Colm Holmes, Allianz UK CEO, 57 Ladymead, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 1DB

ALSO BY E-MAIL TO RELEVANT PEOPLE & OPENLY PUBLISHED ON MY OWN MEDIA

Dear Colm,

COMPLAINT: REGARDING 3 WOODFIELD AVENUE, STREATHAM, LONDON SW16 – FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH OMBUDSMAN FINAL DECISION (Ref: PNX-5254672-Y6R6)

I don’t make a habit of complaining to Chief Executives of public companies, but Allianz’s conduct in this instance has been so poor and falls so far short of commercial decency, I believe that you and the public should be made aware of it. I think it is a matter of public concern that a legally binding, final decision from the Financial Ombudsman Service is being delayed and ignored by Allianz.

Minor subsidence was first spotted and reported to Allianz in the autumn of 2019.  Less than a year later, following significant damage resulting from the subsidence, losses started to arise. I shall not delve in this letter into the Allianz-led problems that have bedevilled this insurance claim from the outset.

Suffice it to say that Allianz’s poor conduct and performance is documented in detail in my complaint to the Ombudsman in August 2024, which was clearly determined in my favour on 16 September 2025: PNX-5254672-Y6R6 (decision attached). I accepted the decision on that same day.

Frankly, you should be horrified at some of my grounds for complaint between 2019 and 2024.  Allianz’s original attempt to deny liability for loss of rent in 2020 and the dishonest attempt by Allianz’s contractors, pretending that there had been storm damage in January 2021, whereas in fact they were simply lying about having done work, is bad enough.  The fact that the claim was still open and the root cause not addressed until the claim was nearly five years old was strongly censured by the Ombudsman.  I need not repeat his criticisms.

My complaint directly to you is because I have been met solely with silence from Allianz since the Ombudsman made his decision.  I was told that I should hear within four weeks of the decision.  I wrote on 6 November 2025, then again 26 November 2025 and understand that the Ombudsman also followed up with Allianz on my behalf. 

A lump of money arrived in my bank account from Allianz on 28 November 2025 but without any accompanying correspondence; no statement, no calculation, and no letter of explanation. It is impossible for me to reconcile this with the Ombudsman’s ruling.  It does not accord with computations I have made as to the sums I might now expect, based on the principles set out in the Ombudsman’s decision. I wrote again 15 December 2025 asking for an explanation and a computation for final settlement, presenting my own computation.  The Crawford loss adjuster responded to the 15 December e-mail asking me to be patient and promising a response before Christmas. 

On 15 January 2026 I wrote to Allianz & Crawford again, as I had again been met with a wall of silence. On 20 February 2026 Crawford wrote again, stating, “I have not received instructions from your insurers, and I am conscious that another month has passed.“  He said he had advised Allianz to make a partial payment of c£12,000 towards the remaining sums owing to me (my estimate c£20,000), which he promised would be forthcoming. 

He wrote again on 5 March asking for my bank details again, which I sent by return, promising, “partial payment should follow in 7-10 days.“  Needless to say no partial payment has been forthcoming.  Nor have my constant requests for warranties and certificates of adequacy since the remedial work was completed in October 2025 been met with anything other than silence. Without the certificates of adequacy and warranties for the 2025 works, the property remains effectively uninsurable (with anyone other than Allianz) and unsaleable, not that I curently wish to sell the house.

In short, I am near my wits end.  The Ombudsman has clearly expressed his decision and the remedial work has theorietically been signed off, but I am some £20,000 short of where I should be and I still do not have documents to evidence that the property has formally been secured and restored.    

Although the property is enveloped in a body corporate, it is still the family home in which I grew up.  I enveloped it in Trust as a protective for my mother when she developed dementia before she died; hence the body corporate now.  While I understand that, in a formal sense, emotion does not come into it in corporate circumstances, I cannot help but feel upset and exhausted by the sorry way the matter has been handled by Allianz and its contractors, in so many shoddy ways, for so many years. 

As my wife constantly points out to me – 3 Woodfield Avenue could easily still have been my family home.  It could easily still have been my late mother’s sanctuary in her declining years.  Such properties often are owned and/or occupied by vulnerable people, who would not be able to stand up for their rights as I have been able to stand up for mine.    

Our sense is that Allianz (and probably other insurers like it) have a systemic, seemingly mendacious  issue with the ways such claims are often handled.  Even the Ombudsman seems powerless to get Allianz to act promptly and decently. 

Such poor conduct by a public company like Allianz and its agents should be called out in public.  The systemic issues that underlie such poor conduct should be addressed by Allianz and by the insurance sector gnerally. 

No-one should have to go through what I have been through over a slightly complicated, but basically standard, subsidence claim in suburban England.  I await your comments and proposed actions with great interest.

Yours sincerely

Ian Harris

Enc.

cc: The Financial Ombudsman Service, BBC Radio 4 ‘You and Yours’ (Investigation Desk), BBC ‘Money Box’ (Consumer Redress Team), The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) (Consumer Protection Division), Crawford & Company

Innocently hoping for the utmost good faith, c1966

Dinner At Yogi’s With John White, 1 April 2026

Image from Saffron Walden, Nov 2024: John is still sporting that pork pie hat

When Janie and I went, in February, for the first time in a while, to the Finborough theatre…

1.17am Or Until The Words Run Out by Zoe Hunter Gordon, Finborough Theatre, 20 February 2026

…we were delighted to see that, at last, what had been a deserted space underneath the theatre, formerly the Finborough Arms, had been revived and reopened as a rather sprauncy-looking Indian Restaurant; Yogi’s Kensington.

We popped in, took a look around, smelt the mouth-watering smells – such an improvement on the stale chip fat smell that had been the Finborough Arms kitchen’s trademark smell for some while before that place closed down – and even picked up a menu for future reference.

The small print is detailed descriptions of dishes

Anyway, I thought this place sounded right up John’s street. It was my turn to choose and John leapt at the idea when he looked at the menu on-line. Simples.

Here’s what we ate – the first two dishes being starters to share:

  • Hot Garlic Honey Fish – Honey glazed spicy, tangy fish with bold garlic chili flavors.
  • Chicken 65 – Chennai-style marinated juliennes of chicken, mild Smoked chilli sauce, curry leaves
  • Lasooni Methi Lamb – cooked in fresh fenugreek, garlic with special indian spice
  • Goan Curry Prawns – cooked in fresh coconut with authentic kokan spice
  • Dal Makhani – Slow cooked black lentils with red kidney beans
  • Saffron Pilaf Rice – Fregnante rice cooked with saffron
  • Plain Naan

Washed down with some beer (in John’s case) followed by wine by the glass in both of our cases.

Every dish was delicious.

So absorbed were we in our conversations and delight in the food, we both forgot to take food porn photos – that’s twice in a row we’ve dined without photos.

Never mind.

Want to know what Dal Makhani looks like? – Here’s a lovely picture of same from Wikimedia Commons thanks to Soumendra Kumar Sahoo, who knows how to make…or at least how to photograph…the stuff.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Rice_and_Dal_Makhni.jpg

As always, it was great to get together with John. We didn’t quite solve all the world’s problems this time, so I guess we should get together again quite soon and have another go at the problems…or at least have another fine meal together.

Alleyn Old Folks, At Home In Souk, Honouring The Rock & El Presidente, 31 March 2026

Rohan Candappa, Nick Wahla, Me, Steve Butterworth, Ollie Goodwin, Rich Davis & Lisa Pavlovsky – thank you for the photo, Mr Waiter.

A gathering of friends who went to my school, and great fun it was too. It is always enjoyable and uplifting when we meet up.

On this occasion, we gathered at Souk in honour of Rich “The Rock” Davis, who risked flying out of Toronto to London despite his own absence from air traffic control when so-doing.

But what should we call ourselves? “Alleyn Old Boys” was the standard term when we joined the school. Replaced by “Alleyn Old Boys And Girls” when the school went co-educational, while we were there. That’s a bit of a mouthful, though.

“Alleyn Alums” still has the requisite gender neutrality, but Latin is so old hat. Indeed some of us…no names, no pack drill Nick Wahla, showed little affinity for that classical language 50 years ago, and have not exactly changed their minds since then.

Coincidentally, I have recently had to grapple with this vital old-school nominative question for practical reasons. As part of my sporting activities playing real tennis…

So much room for improvement in that technique – c2016.

…and as foreshadowed in one of my Ognblog pieces a few months ago…

After Soccer At Alleyn’s: Barton Found In 2025, Plus Soccer-Free (Trying Hockey & Playing Fives) Remainder Of January 1975 For Me

…I have indeed teamed up with Professor Simon Barton (Alleyn’s 1970-1977, stop sniggering at the back of the class) to represent our old school against a pack of rather more seasoned old school pairings in The Cattermull Cup the weekend after Easter. I settled on “Alleyn Old Folk” as our team name, which seemed to amuse Simon – you need a sense of humour to deploy his medical discipline, and even more so to partner me at tennis.

But El Presidente, or Praeses Designatus as Nick Wahla would probably not put it – i.e. Lisa Pavlovsky, was unimpressed by that choice of title.

Sensible suggestions please,

she demanded. Someone needs to explain to Lisa that she is hanging with the wrong crowd if sensible suggestions are what she’s after. Inspired by Lisa’s plea for ideas, Rohan Candappa suggested:

The Canada/Greenland/Pavlovsky Plan – to invade Dulwich College and seize its resources. Finally our CCF training will come in handy! ‘Make Alleyn’s Great Again’ hats will be available for all).

But enough of this forward-looking frivolity. Such gatherings are primarily about reminiscing the past, not planning an heroic future.

There was a lot of talk that evening about train rides to and from school, plus parties which I didn’t attend…probably because I wasn’t invited…where juvenile behaviour, excessive high spirits and resulting broken glass seemed to feature a great deal. I have commissioned DeepAI to produce a couple of illustrative pictures, which I have entitled “Lightbulb Moment” and “Sliding Doors Moment” for reasons of my own.

Thanks, DeepAI. You’re a pal.

Everyone played their part, but the hero of the evening was undoubtedly Rich “The Rock” Davis, who had flown in on the redeye from Toronto that very day, carelessly losing five hours in the process, yet still he was up for a Moroccan meal with his old school pals. True grit.

However, the evening ended on a very unfortunate note for me personally. I hadn’t noticed, on arrival, that one of our number had come to Souk on a bicycle. As I was slightly tired and a little emotional, perhaps not articulating my every syllable in my trademark, crystal clear, received pronunciation manner, I mumbled:

Whose is the bike?

…which Rohan, failing to catch my copula, aurally, as it were, mistook for the phrase, “Who’s the bike?”

That’s outragous – you’re cancelled, Harris,

said Rohan, who then followed up the evening with a new nickname for me – Ian “Cancelled” Harris, plus a new one for Ollie – “Glass-breaker” Goodwin.

So there you have it – we all have nicknames now. It’s only taken 50 years to complete the set.

Candy, Gob, Cancelled, Peanut, Glass-breaker, The Rock & El Presidente.

Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner, La Ballerina Restaurant, 12 March 2026

John, Colin, Jonny, Graham, Barry – still crazy after all these years

We are starting to wonder whether the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner puts the kiss of death onto struggling restaurants. Our previously most recent find, the Goodge Street Spaghetti House, closed down after just two or three of our visits. You’d have thought that six to ten comedy writers, three or four times a year could keep any restaurant afloat, but it seems not.

La Ballerina in Covent Garden has been around for a long time. When John Random mentioned the place to Hugh Rycroft, Hugh reported that his aunt used to take him there.

Indeed, I found this history piece on its website – click here. For those who don’t want to click, it reads:

La Ballerina was a little, family-run café when it opened in the late 1800s…back when Hugh Rycroft’s auntie used to bring him to Covent Garden for fruity treats…

But that’s history, whereas we are topical comedy folk…or at least we were.

Anyway, point is, it is always a treat to get together with that crowd. Diverse conversations, ranging from Graham’s bizarre story about spending hours with the wrong Professor Guliyev in Azerbaijan discussing arcane rock formations…

…who knew that Guliyev is a common name in Azerbaijan? Azerbaijanis, that’s who…

…to even more arcane quizzing about symbols on flags. I didn’t come last. Naturally, Barry won that game.

We also talked about the good old days, of course. Songs are often the most memorable items. We talked about the various attempts that several of us had to rhyme things with Mangosuthu Buthelezi, for example. Was it Jonny who had managed something to the tune of Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini? It took two of us, me and Barry, to dredge out something to the tune of Hazy Crazy (Mangosuthu Buthelezi) Days Of Summer.

Roll Out Those Hazy Crazy Mangosuthu Buthelezi Days Of Summer, NewsRevue Lyric, 9 August 1993

Graham reminded us of one of his favourite John Random songs from the days that the former Czechoslovakia broke up – Slow-Vak. As it happens, the Harris/Random archiving project has, mercifully, already rescued that one:

I love the way that John felt obliged to inform the cast how to pronounce Václav Havel’s surname, but not Antonín Dvořák’s. And in the matter of spelling, John, should the word be spelt Slow-vak or Slovak in this context? The distinction could make all the difference, comedically, when reading a piece.

Given that La Ballerina has been an eatery for well north of 150 years, it seems unlikely that it will close down any time soon. But our tenure might be foreshortened due to John Random’s terrified thought in the middle of the night when he got home that he hadn’t paid his share of the bill. I rose early to find a message from John to that effect. I replied:

I quipped with the proprietor fellow, while I was paying, that the sixth man was hiding in the loo trying to avoid paying.  I’d be most surprised, therefore, if he hadn’t accosted you and relieved you of your portion so quickly after you relieved yourself, you didn’t even notice the extraction. The gentleman struck me as a follower of Colbert, adept at ” so plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest possible amount of hissing.”  

But if I am wrong, don’t be surprised if the next Ivan Shakespeare dinner is at yet another new venue, on account of us having been banned from La Ballerina in disgrace.

Oh, and another thing. John and Mark Keagan are doing a bit of a show at the Canal Cafe in June:

I’ve booked my ticket for 10 June, which is the only night I can do. People might wish to book that night to join me or avoid that night to avoid me – click here for booking details.

As always, a fun evening. Ivan Shakespeare’s legacy to us – the idea of having regular gatherings – was a great one, much appreciated by those of us who have survived thus far.

“OK, you NewsRevue-alum quizzers and other readers. What is the connection between my family and medal winning at the Olympic Games? Answer in the comments – but only if you get there without using search engines or AI.” AD.

Maetsro by David Tossell, MCC Library Book Club, Lord’s, 11 March 2026

The subject was Sobers, Janie was, believe it or not, sober

I spotted and booked this one on the members’ on-line system, before it was announced and several weeks before Alan Rees mentioned it to me in the library.

An interesting character, Garry (or should I say Sir Garfield) Sobers. As David Tossell said in his opening remarks about his book, Sobers has not been well served in print previously, with several books of dubious quality and little digging into his impoverished early life and his colourful career.

Before the talk, a traditional Library Book Club supper with two tasty courses, the most photogenic of which was the pud:

Then the talk.

David Tossell peppered his talk with fascinating anecdotes and well-chosen visuals

Attentive. No attention deficit here. Which is more than might be said for Sobers

Of course, Garry Sobers and I go back a long way. Not as far back as the memories many of the attending gentlemen had of watching Sobers play at Lord’s. But I could, in contrarian fashion, wax lyrical about the day that Sobers watched me play at Lord’s.

The Day Garfield Sobers Watched Me & Z/Yen Play Cricket, Lord’s, 30 June 2009

I can hardly wait to read the book. I expect there’ll be a reference in it to that day in 2009, which was surely a major moment in Garry Sobers cricket career…at least it was in mine.

Seriously, as always it was a most enjoyable evening; initially the dining and chatting with interesting folk around us. Then the bonus of a fascinating book talk.

R.O.I. (Return On Investment) by Aaron Loeb, Hampstead Theatre Downstairs, 7 March 2026

Another excellent evening of theatre at the Hampstead Downstairs. We saw a preview of this one, which technically opens on Monday 16th and only runs until 11 April. If the thought of it grabs you, we suggest you grab a ticket while stocks last.

Here’s a link to the blurb and information resources on the Hampstead site.

The play is about venture capital, tech-entrepreneurism, purportedly-ethical-investing and all that sort of thing.

But if that all sounds like a massive turn-off theatrically, don’t be put off. Aaron Loeb has written three all-too-believable, three-dimensional characters who are ensnared, and ensnare each other, in a web of their back stories, ethical dilemmas, rapid technological advancement and the resulting commercial/regulatory environment…with real human interest.

The play reminded me a little of An Enemy Of The People by Henrik Ibsen, especially the Arthur Miller infused version of it I saw so memorably in 1988.

Went To See An Enemy Of The People by Henrik Ibsen (Arthur Miller Adaptation), With Bobbie & Ashley, Young Vic, 9 November 1988

(Aaron Loeb, if by chance you are reading this – that is meant as a compliment).

One conceit of the play – that “the powers that be” might not appreciate a discovery that solves so many problems that their markets and jobs might be eroded – reminded me of an Ealing film I remember seeing on the TV and thinking about a lot as a child – The Man In The White Suit.

Enough about the piece. the acting was excellent throughout. Lloyd Owen, Letty Thomas and Millicent Wong all played their parts superbly well. All three (especially Lloyd Owen and Millicent Wong) were on stage for most of the 100 minutes the play runs, which must take some energy. Chelsea Walker directed the production, making 100 minutes pass without seeming like it was far too long without an interval. But 100 minutes is, by definition, a bit too long without an interval – the audiences aren’t getting any younger, you know.

But my minor quibble is there merely to show balance. This is yet another triumph for the Hampstead Theatre Downstairs. I do hope, for the sake of the wider audience that should see this production, that the production transfers.

Once the production has formal reviews, you should be able to find them for ever through this link …

…or perhaps you’ll simply ask your fridge to call up the reviews for you!

MCC Real Tennis Skills Night, Lord’s, 4 March 2026

The original Hinds Trophy being presented in March 2023

The following text (or an edited version of it) will shortly appear on the MCC website, along with some of the photographs taken on the night. When that happens, I'll add a link.

Sixty years ago, in March 1966, one of the most coveted trophies in global sport, The Jules Rimet Trophy, was stolen from its apparently secure display location in Westminster. A couple of days after an aborted ransom sting, a dog named Pickles discovered a parcel containing the trophy in a hedge beside his owner’s home. Pickles became an overnight sensation, the Jules Rimet was presented at the 1966 Football World Cup Final, before being retained by Brazil, then, a few years later, in Rio, permanently stolen.

The Hinds Trophy (aka The Skills Night Wooden Spoon Trophy), another of the most coveted trophies in global sport, recently had a similar journey. The original Hinds was snatched from its secure location behind the Lord’s hazard end galleries, at some point in the summer or autumn of 2024. No ransom was ever demanded, nor was any canine heroism involved, as far as we know. But just a few weeks ago, long after its replacement with a replica trophy, the original Hinds reappeared just as mysteriously as it had disappeared. The replacement Hinds will continue to be engraved and displayed.  The original Hinds is now preserved at a highly secure, secret location.

Ironically, the coveted Hinds Trophy was nearly won this time by Andrew Hinds’s own team, Three Ravens.  Numerically and temporally challenged in many ways, that team started with just two but ended up with four players. They need words, not numbers; the collective noun for ravens is “an unkindness”.

The ravens team was especially unkind to two teams.  By performing so well on the final discipline, they knocked Souldiers Three (Hugo Fenwick, Gavin Yeats & David Pritchard) into the Hinds Trophy slot.  Then, with the final scoring of the event, those unkind ravens denied Three Things In Store late surge to the top spot. Instead, Three Poor Mariners – Richard Boys-Stones, Mary Strevens & Huw Humphreys – were, fairly, reinstalled at the top of the podium.

The Close But No Cigar Award went to neophyte Gerald Slocock, whose ability to almost-but-not-quite hit a target might become the stuff of legend, if he maintains form in that regard.

The Most Valuable Player (MVP) Award went to Shaheed “Sid” Rashid, not least for being the only player to score two points off one hit on the central beam of the dedans gallery.

The Philip The Bold Golden Moment Award went to John Thirlwell, for an extraordinary hat trick of coups du pataugeoire -landing the serve in a paddling pool – which is much harder than it sounds.

There is a serious purpose to skills night; honing skills.  True, most of the skills honed on such nights involve eating curry, drinking, singing and the like, but the evening does include some real tennis skills too.

Skills night unquestionably proves the skills of the MCC admin team who organise the event so well, and our tennis professionals, who make the game swing with great reliability.  Which is more than can be said for most of us players’ tennis swings!

Here is a link to the piece, with pictures, on the MCC website, available to those who have a suitable login. Apart from the pictures, it is the above text, unexpurgated. What are the editors thinking?

…and here’s a link to scrape of that piece with pictures.

Maggots by Farah Najib, Bush Studio, 22 February 2026

We both thought this play/production was really excellent. The Bush Studio is one of our trusted venues these days – we rarely leave that place disappointed. This time we felt we had seen a very original piece of writing and some excellent performances.

Here is a link to this production’s resources on the Bush Theatre website.

The scenario is a simple one. A housing association block acquires a stench in the building which residents suspect might be caused by the demise of one no-longer-visible resident. But the residents seem powerless to get action out of the bureaucratic jobsworths “from the housing”.

The play is performed in a narrative rather than dramatic style, although the narrator/performers do slip in and out of characters – several each – while telling the story. A style that sounds iffy when described but it really worked for this piece. Below is the teaser/trailer fort his production.

The story is sad at many levels, yet there is a great deal of humour and humanity in the play. Performers Marcia Lecky, Safiyya Ingar & Sam Baker Jones all do a great job of bringing the story to life. Jess Barton directed the piece with a simple but very effective style.

The piece speaks volumes about the our society in the 2020s by telling a simple story, not by preaching or screeching about the issues that underlie that story. Farah Najib has written a really excellent short play here – we’ll be looking out for more of her work – that’s for sure.

Another big thumbs-up for The Bush from us.

1.17am Or Until The Words Run Out by Zoe Hunter Gordon, Finborough Theatre, 20 February 2026

This was our first visit to the Finborough for a while. We were pleased to see that the former pub underneath the theatre – which had been a closed down space on our last few visits since covid – is now a trendy Indian restaurant named Yogi’s. One to try…but not tonight.

1.17am is a two-hander, in which two twenty-something young women, Katie & Roni, whose close friendship has been shattered since he untimely death of Katie’s brother, spend a heart-wrenching 75 minutes delving into their shared truths, half-truths, white lies and fantasies.

The play is very well written and well performed by Catherine Ashdown & Eileen Duffy; especially the latter, whose character, Roni, goes on the more challenging emotional journey. The Katie character is irritating at times – the character reminded me of Adrian Scarborough’s character Horace in Kevin Elyot’s the Day I Stood Still – but nevertheless we felt terribly sad for both characters in 1.17am.

Sarah Stacey’s directing is to be commended for making the piece flow so well. The play is a seamless one act play which could become laboured in less capable hands.

Here is a link to the Finborough resources for this play/production. It was previewed last year at Theatre 503 (“The Latchmere” or “Grace Theatre” to old stagers like me) where it understandably got rave reviews.

The production is running at The Finborough until 7 March 2026 – if you read this review in time and you like this sort of thing, we suggest that you book it before it’s too late.