Tag: Ringroad

Ringroad Finalists Revue, Keele University Students’ Union (KUSU), 27 June 1985

A couple of weeks ago (May 2017) I wrote an Ogblog piece about my first forays into Ringroad Revue – click here. Quick as a flash, John Easom at “Keele Alumni Central” put Frank Dillon in touch with me, triggering e-mail exchanges, arrangements to meet up and of course a flood of more memories.

Frank wrote/asked:

I was particularly intrigued to learn that you are in possession of The Cornflake Box – or The Holy Grail as Olu Odunsi and I have dubbed it these past 30 years(!) or so.
Any chance you could scan me the contents?

The actual box (which I suppose I inherited from Frank in the summer of 1984) disintegrated during 1985 while it was living in my flat (K block Horwood). I think it was probably replaced by another similar box.

My collection of scripts is now in a file – a mixture of original hand-written scripts and photocopies – a fragment of the Holy Grail with some facsimile elements.

I don’t think that I even took the actual box with me…not that it was THE actual box any more, unless we accept that this particular Holy Grail of a Cornflake Box regenerated every few years – a bit like Dr Who…just more funny, less animated and with fewer enemies.

I suspect it will be autumn (2017) before I get space to take on the Ringroad File/Cornflake Box/Holy Grail Fragment for comprehensive scanning and sharing – otherwise I’ll be interrupting my current/future life by spending a disproportionate amount of time wallowing in the past…and that won’t do.

But I do have, already digitised, a recording of the Finalists Revue from 1985, which I have uploaded in two chunks (due to WordPress file size restrictions).

I cannot remember the name of everyone who appeared in the 1985 Finalists Revue – apologies to those whose names I only half remember or forget.

Frank was gone by then. Olu Odunsi was still around and was a delight to work with on the boards, including this show. John Bowen, who was on the research//academic staff, also joined with us for Ringroad that 1984/85 academic year and was similarly good news to have in the team.

Indeed the whole cast was fun and friendly. Dave Griffiths (who also wrote very good material) and three fabulous lasses, Jo, Jackie and (I think) Karen. Possibly there were others, but I think that’s it. Please help me to fill in the gaps if you are able, dear reader.

I have not re-listened to the recording in full myself yet, but I think the second half might be a tad better than the first half. The recording is poor as we had a microphone shortage, so some bits are less audible than others and some sketches sound a bit shouty.

I was pretty hopeless as a performer, really, but I think it was seen as a bit of a coup to have a union sabbatical on the Ringroad cast taking the pee out of union politics. I wrote little back then – my comedy writing was to blossom later, in the 1990s, at NewsRevue.

Enjoy the recording(s) below and please do comment.

Ringroad Finalists Revue 27 June1985 Part One of Two

 

Ringroad Finalists Revue 27 June1985 Part Two of Two

 

John Cooper Clarke: Ringroad Poem, Remembered & Recreated by Frank Dillon

Wash your mouth out with soap, young Mr Dillon.

As an appendix to my forty years on piece about, amongst other things, John Cooper Clarke’s 1982 visit to Keele:

Cinema (e.g. Carrie), Casualty At Kings College and Cooper Clarke At Keele, First Half Of February 1982

…I am delighted to report that Frank Dillon has managed to recreate most of his John Cooper Clarke poem from memory. Just as well, as I do not have a copy of it in my Ringroad scripts collection.

Frank wasn’t even in the country when John Cooper Clarke played that gig at Keele. Frank however writes:

As for John Cooper Clarke, I don’t have a copy of it, but I offer the following recreation, honed (or harmed) by the sands of time (i.e. 40 years).

It’s vitally important to read it in the voice of the great man, and with a hint of hysteria.

(And I do mean the great man – for this was a homage, nay, a pastiche, rather than an attack on JCC, for whom I retain an enduring fondness).

I hope it brings back fond memories. Anyway, here goes:

He runs the whole gamut of feelings, from A right through to B. 
At school he wore a cone-shaped hat that bore the letter D. 
He’s the first one, but he’s useless,
Just like the word Aardvark, 
John Cooper Clarke. 

Where he came from is a mystery indeed. 
His mam and dad, they must have been too bloody thick to breed. 
If he’s half the age his jokes are,  
Then he came from Noah’s Ark,  
John Cooper Clarke.

His so-called style is dissolute, his muse, the commonplace. 
The burden of banality is etched upon his face. 
He’s told more boring stories  
Than a bloody copper’s nark, 
John Cooper Clarke 

He’s the new enfant terrible of the trendy literati.
His mordant wit is de rigueur at all the coolest parties.
But like a puppy, laryngectomised, 
His bite’s worse than his bark, 
John Cooper Clarke 

He’s a Wimpy-bar philosopher, his lines are full of glee. 
He can find the secret of existence in a cup of tea. 
But like a wanker with his eyes poked out, 
He’s shooting in the dark, 
John Cooper Clarke 

He thinks he’s T S Eliot, or Keats, or Wilfred Owen 
And literary publishers will clamour for his poems 
He’s got more front and chutzpah 
Than a flasher in the park, 
John Cooper Clarke 
John Cooper Clarke 
John Cooper Clarke 

I must say that I don’t remember that last couplet. My recollection of the closing couplet was:

But like a masturbating eunuch,

He’ll never make a mark,

John Cooper Clarke, John Cooper F*****G Clarke, John Cooper F*****G B*****D Clarke…

Still, a pretty impressive bit of brain archaeology from Frank there.

Respect.