Vice Captaincy, Back When the Phrase “I Scored At the Weekend” Meant Cricket At Alleyn’s, Plus So Many Unanswered Questions For The Hive Mind Of Alleyn’s Alums, Start Of Trinity Term, April 1975

Folks – I need help.

I am so stuck trying to decipher my diary from the start of the Trinity term of 1975, I have been putting off progressing my write-ups…

…well, actually, to be fair, real life has intervened a lot these last few weeks.

Anyway, I really am stuck on one page so much, I am going to throw my questions out to the hive mind of Alleyn’s alums from my era and see if the collective brains can solve some of these mysteries.

Here’s an attempt at unpicking the words in the diary page pictured above, Tuesday to Saturday.

Tuesday 22 April 1975 – went back to school. Classes good. TV Edward The Seventh.

Wednesday, 23 April 1975 – appointed cricket vice captain. TV Robin Hood, The Survivors, The Fight Against Slavery.

Thursday, 24 April 1975.– Taking violin grade 2. Rotten fish. TV Are You Being Served.

Friday 25 April 1975 – Dr Chow took rest Fartleck training. TV The Husband of the Year, The Good Life.

Saturday 26 April 1975 – scored in cricket match. Good match. Richards c Cox b Cummings 75. TV Canon (Fatso Fuzz).

Questions – let’s start with the Wednesday’s cricket vice-captaincy. This will have been an appointment for my class, 2AK, team, not the firsts or seconds. But can anyone out there tell me:

  • what did the role of vice-captain entail in such a team? Was it a bit like being the vice-president of the United States, only without the hate? I have no recollection of doing anything captain/vice-captain like at that time. Indeed, finding that diary entry was a bit of a surprise.
  • who was the captain of that team? We weren’t the sportiest class and the few sporty people we had tended not to condescend to play cricket for the class. I’m pretty sure that Jumbo Jennings, for example, was far too busy dominating other sports to show his face on a cricket pitch until his terrifying arrival with ball in hand the following season. I’d guess Ian Feeley but hopefully someone (e.g. Ian) remembers.
  • who would have chosen these key roles in that vital tournament? Tony King, our form master, presumably.
Aye, you – Harris! Look at me when I’m talking to yer. Cricket. Vice!

Moving on to Thursday, what does the phrase “Rotten Fish” mean in that context? Was that a slang phrase we were using to show discontent? I don’t remember it. Or was it some in joke or code phrase of my own, which I expected to remember for all time? Paul Deacon – you were our form catch phrase merchant.

Similarly, even worse, on Friday, what on earth do I mean when I write that Dr Chow “took rest Fartleck [sic] training”? I am pretty sure that Chris Liffen taught us biology that year and Chow taught us chemistry. But perhaps I am wrong. My chemistry was never very good, so perhaps the phrase “rest Fartleck training” makes perfect sense to a decent scientist. Or to other reluctant scientists like me who had made up some sort of lingo.

Update: Paul Deacon chimed in on Facebook to point out that, “From Wikipedia: Fartlek is a middle and long-distance runner’s training approach developed in the late 1930s by Swedish Olympian Gösta Holmér.” My failure even to do a simple Google search on the term Fartlek makes me feel “old fart-like” 🤪

Gösta Holmér – clearly his method did not spare his knee

I cannot unpick Richards, c Cox b Cummings 75. Who were we playing for a start? And what level was I scoring? I don’t think I was promoted to scoring first eleven games until a little later in the season.

Returning to slang, the only phrase I recognise as being family slang is the notion that Canon, the TV detective, was “fatso fuzz”. My dad would have cultivated that phrase, in part as self-effacing humour.

Dad sort of liked and sort of disliked the Canon series. He liked the idea of a portly cop but liked to ridicule the plots and writing. Indeed, he had a theory that the studios had computers that were generating the scripts for such programmes, as each week’s programme seemed like a slight variant on its predecessor story.

You were 45-50 years ahead of the curve, dad.

Anyway, I apologise unequivocally if I have hurt the feelings of any portly people or anyone who works (or has ever worked) in law enforcement.

Three Weeks Of Easter Holiday During My Second Year At Alleyn’s School, Including Football, Violence On The Terraces, Tennis, Snooker & Even The “B” Word, April 1975

The Thinker, 1975

I didn’t much use the B word (“boring”) in my teenage diaries, but that word does crop up more than once during the first three weeks of April 1975, deployed recklessly, as I shall point out later in this piece.

Tuesday, 1 April 1975 played on my own. TV Flintstones, Edward VII. Made model plane.

Wednesday 2 April 1975 – went to Andrew’s [Levinson] in afternoon. Played snooker etc. TV 20th Century Fox Presents, Fight Against Slavery.

Thursday, 3 April 1975 – played tennis and football in morning with Andy [Levinson] and Stuart [Harris]. TV man about the house, are you being served, Dave Allen.

Friday 4 April 1975 – played with Andy in afternoon. In morning got record missing from library [?].

Saturday 5 April 1975 – went to Spurs in afternoon. TV Pot Black, Canon.

I cannot fathom what I am trying to tell my diary about the record library. I do recall borrowing a lot of records from the library over the years, probably starting around then.

I can convincingly report through the power of memory that Stanley Benjamin took me to see that match. My memory (as enhanced by Google) can also report that a star-studded Spurs beat Luton Town 2-1 that day.

Picture from e-Bay listing – click here.

Sunday, 6 April 1975 – classes morning. Kalooki in afternoon and evening. All square!? Times seven.

Monday, 7 April 1975 – played with Andy. TV Likely Lads, Alias Smith and Jones, Goodies, Horizon.

Tuesday, 8 April 1975 – went shopping. Classes, grammar, whole book!! TV High Society, Edward The Seventh.

Wednesday, 9 April 1975 – Paul Deacon came over for day. Nice time.

Thursday, 10 April 1975 – classes! Andrew in the afternoon. TV Man About The House, Are You Being Served?

Friday, 11 April 1975 – another boring day! Tennis Stuart Harris. TV Caribe, The Good Life, Within These Walls, ? by 10!

I can only apologise to my friends whose names are juxtaposed with the word boring. I am quite sure I meant to say, “boring day apart from…” rather than suggest that my activities with friends were boring.

Saturday, 12 April 1975 – went to Chelsea V Man City. Lost 0–1. Good match though.

That match will have been with Andy Levinson and his dad Norman. Asa Hartford scored the solitary goal. Here’s a link to a report with pictures.

Sunday, 13 April 1975 – Kalooki 4p. Classes pretty boring as usual. Benjahair turned up! Mini squidge joined.

I cannot work out exactly where those nicknames came from, or even in the case of the first one whose nickname it was. Benjahair might have been Alison Benjamin‘s nickname at that time. Mini Squidge was Graham Laikin, younger brother of “Squidge” who was Richard Laikin. I’m sure these lovely people will be thrilled to have their teenage nicknames dug out of the archives for posterity. This is what happens when information treasure troves are opened under the fifty year rule. 🤪

Monday 14 April 1975 morning uneventful. Afternoon Andrew and Henry. TV Likely Lads, Alias Smith & Jones, Goodies – goody goody yum yum!

Tuesday, 15 April 1975 – Andrew afternoon snooker 7-6 to me after 5-1 to him. Molivers [Josh & Sadie] came in evening. Nice day!

Wednesday, 16 April 1975 – hospital mum in within three weeks. Taken by Marjorie and Wendy [Levinson]. Brixton haircut. TV Survivors, Fight Against Slavery.

Coincidentally, a few days after writing this piece, I spotted “Auntie Marjorie’s car” in Waitrose, Ealing. The proud owner, who had recently acquired the car, was delighted that I wanted to photograph it:

I cannot recall who Henry was. If it was someone from Alleyn’s School, Henry is a nickname which has slipped my memory. Apologies. Perhaps a friend of Andy’s from his previous school, Dulwich Prep. Sadie Moliver was mum’s cousin, although a generation older than mum in fact. Sadie was one of the few people on the planet who terrified my mum. It might have been on this occasion that I helped make the tea and mum demanded in a trembling voice that I ensure that Sadie’s cuppa was strong or else she would denounce it…

“this tea tastes like piss”.

Sadie when much younger. Thanks to Sidney Pizan for the picture.

Thursday 17 April 1975. I’ve – went to Alan’s [Cooke] for day. Lovely time. Went to classes. TV Love Thy Neighbour, Are You Being Served.

Friday, 18 April 1975 – had diarrhoea! Went shopping. In afternoon saw film on TV: The Village, Husband of the Year, The Good Life.

I’m sure that many of my readers are appreciating this level of detail in my juvenile diary, especially the many readers who like to use Ogblog as mealtime reading. [Please insert your own joke along the lines of “verbal diarrhoea diary” here]

Saturday, 19 April 1975 went to see Chelsea V Spurs. Fighting on terraces. Lost 0-2. Boo. TV Pot Black final, G[raham] Miles won. Canon.

Regarding THAT football match, I remember the occasion quite clearly. Again I was with Stanley Benjamin & some other members of the Benjamin family in their season ticket seats. The scrappiness of the football can be seen in this “classic match” video:

The match, the violence and the long tail of resentment between the two sides is captured in this article – click here -one of many I could have chosen.

I didn’t feel any sense of danger, as my hosts knew (or at least held themselves out to be knowing) how and when to leave the ground to avoid trouble.

My parents, however, were unnerved by the fact that I was on my way home from a football match while they were seeing scenes of violence from the ground on the news.

It might have been that occasion, more than anything else, that made my parents a little more reluctant to let me go off to football matches, while being quite relaxed about me toddling off to see county cricket at The Oval.

Friends who have shown concern about my football allegiances at that time (Perry Harley – you might be one of many) will spot the clarity of my express emotions in the April 1975 diary – my heart at that time was with Chelsea. Whereas I can now honestly say that my heart is not with (or against) any football team.

For those who find snooker more to their taste than football, I have found that Pot Black final on YouTube too:

You might sense that I was becoming a little skittish for the last two days of that school holiday. Dig the final two holiday entries:

Sunday, 20 April 1975 – found snail (Sydney). Kalooki, won 22p. Nice day in all!

Monday, 21 April 1975 – went to Tooting. Played around. TV Likely Lads, Alias Smith and Jones, Goodies – a goody goody yum Yum.

What I did in Tooting and with whom I played around on that last day of the holidays is lost in the mists of time. Andy Levinson and/or Stuart Harris most likely.

The ultra violence of those London derby football matches was clearly starting to have an effect on us youngsters! 🤪