But What Of The Third Dumpling?: Consternation In Carnaby, Dining At Donia With John White, 30 April 2024

“Get over it? How could I possibly get over it?”

It’s been a while, what with one thing and another, since John White and I have had a dinner and catch up…just the two of us.

It was time to put that matter right and through the trusty services of this Ogblog, which some consider to be a fifth emergency service, we ascertained that it was John’s turn to choose the restaurant and my turn to burst into tears when the bill is presented.

Looking a little shot to pieces – in truth at the Yoko One last week

John chose Donia – a modern Filipino place in Kingly Court, just off Carnaby Street.

Great choice, it was. We both really enjoyed our meal.

Donia is an up-market take on street food, with an ample opportunity to share many dishes.

We tried, from the menu linked here:

  • Chicken Offal Skewers
  • Adobo Mushroom Croquetas
  • Sea Bream Kinilaw
  • Prawn & Pork Dumplings, White Crab
  • Black Tiger Prawns, Fermented Plum Broth
  • Lamb Shoulder Caldereta Pie
  • Jasmine Rice
  • Corn Tart (dessert)

We washed that down with a bottle of Austrian Riesling (absent from the on-line wine menu, I notice).

We nearly chose the oysters, but as we were just one day away from the months with no Rs in them, we thought better of it.

All was going swimmingly well, until the portion of dumplings arrived.

Three dumplings to be precise.

Three absolutely succulent, delicious and tempting-looking dumplings.

The following dialogue ensued:

JOHN: Oh dear! Typical! A portion of three for two people to share.

WAITER: You’ll just have to fight over the third one.

ME: Do you have any boxing gloves?

WAITER: I think so, I’ll check at the back and bring them with the rest of your dishes.

Matters took a darker turn when the portion of three Black Tiger Prawns arrived -[did you see what I did there?]

WAITER: A portion of three prawns.

ME: Have you found the boxing gloves?

WAITER: No, can’t find them.

John and I were then briefly and thankfully distracted by the need to sing “Happy Birthday To You” to the nice Filipino gentleman at the next table to us, having been set up for the performance by the Irish partner of the birthday-nik.

This is exactly the sort of thing for which I have been taking singing lessons with John’s daughter, Lydia, for the last four years:

John & I talked about many things, not least our very different experiences of revising for our finals 40 years ago…or in my case finding extraordinary ways to avoid doing so. John basically put his head down for 12 weeks after being elected as a sabbatical, whereas I…didn’t. I only mentioned two of the three pieces linked below over dinner, as this first of them – relevant to John and other friends for many other reasons, was un-writ until the next day:

All too soon it was time to pay. It was at this juncture that matters took a potentially violent turn. While reaching into my pocket to get out my gadget…

…the smart phone which doubles as a payment card for goodness sake. What did you think I meant? And stop sniggering at the back…

…I dropped John’s new business card (or should I say card for his new business) on the floor. These days, contact details are mostly exchanged through QR codes and links like this one, but never mind.

John was apoplectic with faux rage and challenged me to a duel in Hanover Square.

I had visions that I needed to say yes in order to prevent the beautifully appointed Dania restaurant ending up looking like the scene below.

I realised afterwards that John’s Hanover Square challenge was merely a device to encourage me to walk in that direction with John, after dinner, where he could pick up the Elizabeth Line and I could pick up the Central Line.

In any case, surely John knew that there is a clear sign on the boundary of Hanover Square that reads, “no duelling, unless it is the first day of the month, with an R in it”.

Health and safety gone mad, but don’t get us old gits started.

John sometimes struggles with multi-clause rules, so I am reliably informed that he turned up at Hanover Square the next morning, 1st May, with his second, expecting me to do likewise and duel with him.

Naturally, I’ll now live in dread of 1st September for the next four months. Still, hopefully we’ll get together before that. If our next get together includes Mandy and Janie, I expect that the duelling challenge will be long forgotten by 1st September.

Last year all four of us at peace in Pahli Hill

Joking apart, it was a really enjoyable (and peaceful) evening, as always, with John.

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