Hmmm. A generic song about heatwaves.
This one certainly didn’t make the cut when first submitted to the Random run that spring and I’m not sure I tried resubmitting it all that hard.
I might have had Spitting Image in mind for this one. I know I sent them some stuff around that time, probably including this one, only to discover that they were off air spring/summer.
There are some good lines but it would be wicked hard to perform. I was still learning then…still am.
HEATWAVE
(To the tune of “Heatwave”)
VERSE 1
Whenever the sun shines, {Ooohhh}
And Britain is warm;{Britain is warm}
Sun reporters,{Ooohhh}
And photographers swarm.
CHORUS 1
Could it be, a chance to see,{aaahhh, aaahhh}
Tit and bum on page one instead of three?{aaahhh, aaahhh}
Cos it’s a heatwave,{Cos it’s a heatwave,}
We’ve shots of Princess Di,{Cos it’s a heatwave,}
That prove she must shave,{Cos it’s a heatwave,}
Her armpits and her thighs.
VERSE 2
There’s always one arsehole,{do wah, do wah}
Ends up breaking his spine;{yeh, heatwave, yeh}
He dives, head first,{do wah, do wah}
Into the Serpentine.{yeh, heatwave, yeh}
CHORUS 2
He doesn’t mind being half alive,{aaahhh, aaahhh}
Cos he made the news at five-forty-five.{aaahhh, aaahhh}
There’s still a brain wave,{There’s still a brain wave,}
Although it’s only faint,{There’s still a brain wave,}
There’s still a brain wave,{There’s still a brain wave,}
Oh – now there ain’t.
VERSE 3
Take a trip to Margate,{do wah, do wah}
But you’re sure to get home late,{yeh, heatwave, yeh}
(British Rail Announcer)
“There’s no train service, ’till further notice,{do wah, do wah}
The sun has melted all the track”{yeh, heatwave, yeh}
CHORUS 3
Cos this whole country’s brought to its knees,{aaahhh, aaahhh}
As soon as the gauge shows eighty degrees,{aaahhh, aaahhh}
It’s called a heatwave.{It’s called a heatwave.}
Yeh yeh, yeh yeh, oh yeh, {Phew what a scortcher, this heat is torture}
Yeh yeh, yeh yeh, oh yeh, {Phew what a scortcher, this heat is torture}
This heatwave’s small beer, we get one every year
But its a heatwave!!!
Here is a vid of the wonderful Martha & The Vandellas singing Heatwave to a rather sedate-looking English audience:
…and here is a link to the lyrics of Martha & the Vandellas’s Heatwave.