I don’t think this one was used, but it reads well – there are some good ideas and some good lines in it.
There must have been some sort of soccer thing happening in Sweden at the time, with English soccer fans disgracing themselves as is their wont…
WE’RE NOT HERE FOR THE GAME
(To the Tune of “Name of the Game”)
ONE ENGLISH YOBBO
I’ve drunk ten pints, in a short time,
Watching the football in Sweden;
Went round the town, had a good time,
Look, there’s a doorway I peed in.
TWO TOLERANT SWEDES
They are an impossible race,
Tho’ we give them cheap lagers;
They fight and they mess up the place,
Like the villains in sagas.
TWO ENGLISH YOBBOS
But you ought to know (sniff),
We’re not here for the game,
We just want beer and Aquavit,
We’re not here for the game,
Cos our soccer’s a load of shit.
ONE TOLERANT SWEDE
Tell me please, cos I’d like to know,
Why the louts throw up, over my Volvo?
TWO TOLERANT, DEPRESSED SWEDES {WITH YOBBOS ON BACKING VOCALS}
And it makes us sad {do do}, and it makes us weep {do, do},
We take Mogadon {do do}, or else we cannot sleep;
When it gets us down {do do}, we take Valium {do do},
And when Sweden lose {do do}, we shall try Potassium – {Cyanide} ,
For committing suicide……..
THE YOBBOS LAST SEETHING CHORUS {JOINED BY SUICIDAL SWEDES}
You ought to know (sniff), oh yes you ought to know (sniff),
We’re not here for the game {they are an impossible race},
We just want beer and Aquavit {they fight and they mess up the place and throw up a lot},
We’re not here for the game,
Cos the soccer’s a load of shit…..
(Perhaps the song ends in chaos with the cyanide taking effect on the Swedes and the yobbos beating each other up?? Or perhaps not?)
Here’s a vid of Abba singing “Name Of The Game: