Kate Adie, NewsRevue Lyric, 31 August 1992

The rule of three suggests that any good story or slogan contains three characters or messages.

This Kate Adie Ogblog piece obeys the rule of three in several (indeed, three) ways.

It is one of three 31 August anniversary posts I have written today (31 August 2017), the other two being:

• Greenwich with Mum and Dad, 31 August 1977 – click here;
• Greenwich with Janie, John Random and Jenny Mill, 31 August 1997 – click here.

This lyric is also one of three pieces I wrote in a burst of creativity over the Bank Holiday weekend of 1992 after my first date with Janie – “had Janie become my muse so swiftly?”, I muse – the other two being:

• Snooping On The Mobile Phone;
• Ministerial Brief Encounter.

It is also one of three pieces I wrote in August 1992 that Ben Murphy at least partially recorded, the other two being:

• Mama Mia Farrow;
• Ministerial Brief Encounter (Don’t Fuck Up the Economy).

So to the matter at hand; the lyric, Kate Adie. Kate Adie was one of my more successful NewsRevue lyrics. Kim insists that it is her favourite of all of them.

Yet, in truth, I don’t think it is a very good lyric.

It is a bit like a deceptive cup of coffee – it smells superb at the very first instant, then the rest cannot possibly meet the expectations set by the wicked first sniff.

Proof of this, should you need it, is that Ben Murphy in effect only recorded the opening line:

Still, the piece ran and ran in the show; there was room for some good business, I suppose. It went to Edinburgh in 1993 and was used as a flagship piece when the cast performed some material on a TV show, Wire TV. Enough of my thoughts on it, dear readers, you judge for yourselves. The broadcast recording starts at 7’45” in the YouTube below:

https://youtu.be/zvNXwyzSHG0

KATE ADIE

(For Timid BBC Producer and Kate Adie to the Tune of “Dream Lover”)

(You’ll have to supply most backing oooh-ooohs and yeh-yehs yourselves)

VERSE 1 – BBC PRODUCER

Every night I hope and pray,

That Kate Adie gets blown away;

Though at the Beeb I’m her boss,

I run and hide when she gets cross.

I’d like to watch {yeh-yeh yeh} her {yeh-yeh yeh} sweat {yeh-yeh yeh} with fear,

I’m sending Kate Adie to cover every war this year.

VERSE 2 – STILL THE BBC PRODUCER

Kate Adie where are you,

In Sarajevo or Mogadishu?

Although the air’s diffuse with lead,

The shrapnel bounces off your head.

Where Martin Bell {yeh-yeh yeh} fell {yeh-yeh yeh} she’s {yeh-yeh yeh} swell,

I think that Kate Adie could happily report from hell.

MIDDLE BIT – KATE ADIE

Some day I don’t know how,

I shall give up stringing,

I’ll be a Movie star,

Both dancing and singing.

(Kate demonstrates her hidden talents throughout he rest of the song)

VERSE 3 – KATE ADIE

Kate Adie until then,

I’ll scare the shit out of my men;

Although I’m soft underneath,

I’ll catch hand grenades with my teeth.

And I shall put {yeh-yeh yeh} on {yeh-yeh yeh} a brave {yeh-yeh yeh} show,

Yes this is Kate Adie BBC News Sarajevo.

Here is Dream Lover by Bobby Darin with lyrics on the screen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_urVDCrf5A

For the completists amongst you/us, here is version two of the song tweaked for Christmas 1992:

KATE ADIE – VERSION 2

(For Timid BBC Producer and Kate Adie to the Tune of “Dream Lover”)

(You’ll have to supply most backing oooh-ooohs and yeh-yehs yourselves)

VERSE 1

Every night I hope and pray,

That Kate Adie gets blown away;

‘though at the Beeb I’m her boss,

I run and hide when she gets cross.

I’d like to watch {yeh-yeh yeh} her {yeh-yeh yeh} sweat {yeh-yeh yeh} with fear {yeh-yeh yeh},

I’m sending Kate Adie to cover every war this year.

VERSE 2

Kate Adie where are you,

In Sarajevo or Mogadishu?

Although the air’s diffuse with lead,

The shrapnel bounces off your head.

Where Martin Bell {yeh-yeh yeh} fell {yeh-yeh yeh} she’s {yeh-yeh yeh} swell {yeh-yeh yeh},

I think that Kate Adie could happily report from hell.

MIDDLE BIT

Some day the time will come,

That she gives up writing;

She’ll buy a Tommy Gun,

And take up street fighting.

VERSE 3

Kate Adie, mercenary,

Will not be more incendiary;

But when she gets blown up,

She’ll be rebuilt like Robocop.

(enter Kate Adie to sing the last two lines)

And I shall be {yeh-yeh yeh} a {yeh-yeh yeh} grave {yeh-yeh yeh} foe {yeh-yeh yeh},

Yes this is Kate Adie BBC News Sarajevo.

…and there was even a Version 3 in 1994 – I told you the piece ran and ran despite my reservations about it:

KATE ADIE – VERSION 3

(You’ll have to supply most backing oooh-ooohs and yeh-yehs yourselves)

VERSE 1

Every night I hope and pray,

That Kate Adie gets blown away;

Although she seems awful cross,

I don’t suppose she gives a toss.

I have to watch {yeh-yeh yeh} her {yeh-yeh yeh} snarl {yeh-yeh yeh} and sneer {yeh-yeh yeh},

Because old Kate Adie’s reporting every war this year.

VERSE 2

Kate Adie where are you,

In Sarajevo or Mogadishu?

Although the air’s diffuse with lead,

The shrapnel bounces off your head.

Where Martin Bell {yeh-yeh yeh} fell {yeh-yeh yeh} she’s {yeh-yeh yeh} swell {yeh-yeh yeh},

I think that Kate Adie could happily report from hell.

MIDDLE BIT

Some day the time will come,

That she gives up writing;

She’ll buy a Tommy Gun,

And take up street fighting.

VERSE 3

Kate Adie, mercenary,

Would not be more incendiary;

But if she got blown up,

She’d be rebuilt like Robocop.

(enter Kate Adie to sing the last two lines)

And I shall be {yeh-yeh yeh} a {yeh-yeh yeh} grave {yeh-yeh yeh} foe {yeh-yeh yeh},

Yes this is Kate Adie BBC News Sarajevo.

There was even a subsequent Version 3, which should, I suppose, have been named Version 4, in late January 1995:

KATE ADIE – VERSION 3
(You’ll have to supply most backing oooh-ooohs and yeh-yehs yourselves)

VERSE 1

Every night I hope and pray,
That Kate Adie gets blown away (or, for the faint hearted, “That Kate Adie will go away”);
Although she seems awful cross,
I don’t suppose she gives a toss.

I have to watch {yeh-yeh yeh} her {yeh-yeh yeh} snarl {yeh-yeh yeh} and sneer {yeh-yeh yeh},
Because old Kate Adie’s reporting every war this year.

VERSE 2

Kate Adie where are you,
In Sarajevo or Mogadishu?
Although the air’s diffuse with lead,
The shrapnel bounces off your head.

Where Martin Bell {yeh-yeh yeh} fell {yeh-yeh yeh} she’s {yeh-yeh yeh} swell {yeh-yeh yeh},
I think that Kate Adie could happily report from hell.

MIDDLE BIT

Some day the time will come,
That she gives up writing;
She’ll buy a Tommy Gun,
And take up street fighting.

VERSE 3

Kate Adie, mercenary,
Would not be more incendiary;
But if she got blown up,
She’d be rebuilt like Robocop.

(enter Kate Adie to sing the last two lines)

And I shall be {yeh-yeh yeh} a {yeh-yeh yeh} grave {yeh-yeh yeh} foe {yeh-yeh yeh},
Yes this is Kate Adie BBC News Sarajevo.

Here is a vid of Bobby Darin performing Dream Lover live on TV – so 1950s: