October 1992 – Ian Louis Harris

Antony And Cleopatra by William Shakespeare, RSC Shakespeare Memorial Theatre, 31 October 1992

This was the second of the two previews Janie and I went to see on our first long weekend away together in Stratford-Upon-Avon.

It seems that Janie decided to “give Shakespeare a go” with me (we have done a few in our time) but in truth she has never got on with Shakespeare. I have got on with Shakespeare but didn’t get on so well with this play and/or this production.

It is a very long play and in truth I don’t think one of Shakespeare’s best. My log records:

We didn’t go great guns on this one.

Good cast: Richard Johnson (Antony), John Nettles (Caesar) and Clare Higgins (Cleopatra).

There is a single fixed camera video of the production apparently, click here for details, including lots of details about exactly who played whom and stuff and where you might find the odd review.

This production probably helped to put Janie off The Bard, but fortunately did not seem to put her off me, despite the fact that (as I recall) the back-aching and thirst-inducing length of the play did little for our moods, especially mine.

Here is the Theatricalia entry for this production.

Below is Michael Coveney’s Observer review:

Changeling, Antony & Cleopatra, Michael Coveney Sun, Nov 8, 1992 – 57 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

Changeling, Antony & Cleopatra Michael Billington Mon, Nov 9, 1992 – 30 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

The Changeling by Thomas Middleton & William Rowley, RSC Swan Theatre, 29 October 1992

Here is the Theatricalia entry for this production.

This was the first of two plays Janie and I went to see on our first long weekend away together in Stratford-Upon-Avon.

I had seen The Changeling before, at the RNT in 1988, thought highly of it as a Jacobean revenge tragedy and thought Janie might like it. I didn’t yet realise that she was not so keen on classics/old plays. I’m not sure she realised it yet either.

My log reports:

Not quite to Janie’s taste – I rather liked it.

It was a superb production. Looking through the cast and creatives list you can see why. Cheryl Campell as Beatrice-Joanna, Malcolm Storry as De Flores, Michael Attenborough directing. Also a stellar list of youngsters who would break through in their own right later; Sophie Okeonedo, Barnaby Kay, Dominic Cooke (assisting Attenborough). Even Tracy-Ann Oberman (prior to her NewsRevue & SportsRevue days) puts in an appearance as an inmate of the asylum.

The Swan is an ideal venue for this type of play, much better than the Lyttleton. Very high production quality both times though – hard for me to rank one production above the other.

There’s a picture from The Swan production in a Guardian Gallery – click here and scroll down – but no on-line reviews of course.

Below is Michael Coveney’s Observer review:

Changeling, Antony & Cleopatra, Michael Coveney Sun, Nov 8, 1992 – 57 · The Observer (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

Below is Michael Billington’s Guardian review:

I GATT Round, NewsRevue Lyric, 27 October 1992

I don’t suppose the Uruguay Round of the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade (GATT) was the funniest topical subject in late 1992, unless you happened to be an economist.

Seems a bit topical again now at the time of writing (December 2016) with protectionism hoving back into political view.

Evidence shows that this one wasn’t used before Christmas 1992 and I doubt if it was used afterwards either, although I can see I submitted it in the January 1993 Bowden submission and there is evidence that I tweaked the text in February 1993.

This isn’t really a funny enough song, I’ll be frank. Although the following line made me smile:

“My buddies and me we’re not at all well known, But the IMF know us so they give us a loan.”

Here’s the whole lyric:

♬ I GATT ROUND ♬

(To the Tune of “I Get Around”)

INTRO

Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round.

We Gatt round,{Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

We have found,Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

That we are bound,Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

To make contentious sound.Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round.}

VERSE 1

We’re getting bugged trying to subsidise your oil seed crops,

We’re goanna stick a huge tariff on your goods in our shops.

My buddies and me we’re not at all well known,

But the IMF know us so they give us a loan.

CHORUS

We Gatt round,{Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

We’ll astound,Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

When we propound,Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

That quotas still abound.Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round.}

We Gatt round round round round round round round,

Wupwah-ooh, wupwah-ooh, wupwah-ooh-ooh.

VERSE 2

The West spends a fortune hoarding crops and meat,

While the Third World countries have got nothing to eat.

We’ve been talking for years but we can never agree,

So we’re goanna fuck up the world economy.

We loathe Leon Brittan and hate Jacques Delors,

So we’re goanna fall out and have a global trade war.

We Gatt round,{Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

It’s renowned,Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

That we shall impound,Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round,

Any goods we’ve found.Round, round, Gatt round, Uruguay round.}

We Gatt round, Gatt round round round round round.

Click here or below for a link to the Beach Boys song, I Get Around, upon which the lyric is based.

Dinner At Sandall Close With Kim, Micky, Victor & Kim, 24 October 1992

Janie’s diary says:

8.00 Kim & Micky & Ian Dinner. Victor & Kim.

Victor was Kim’s dad who, after being widowed, had remarried, confusingly a woman named Kim. Janie used to refer to Victor’s Kim as:

Kim The Chickidoo

…to distinguish her from “our” Kim.

Not much memory remains of that particular evening. I’m sure Janie will have cooked a super meal and I’m sure that, by then, Janie and I took it for granted that I’d stay.

Janie’s diary says that she went to an SAC (chiropody committee) meeting on the Sunday afternoon. I recall that she was quite frustrated with committee stuff when we first met and that her “being on the committee” days didn’t last long into our relationship.

Nor did Janie’s midweek French lessons, not that they were getting in the wway of anything we wanted to do together…I think Janie felt she wasn’t getting much out of them.

Janie Visits NewsRevue For The First Time Along With Kim & Micky, Canal Cafe Theatre, 22 October 1992, Plus Relics & Questions From The Next NewsRevue Run

Janie’s diary for that evening reads:

6.30 Kim & Micky 8.00 Canal Cafe Theatre 9.15 Review [sic]

Bridge House Pub, Delaware Terrace…

…etc.

Mine just reads:

Canal Cafe

I have more than a sneaking suspicion that Janie, Kim & Micky turned up with a view to surprising me that evening. I’m pretty sure I’d have written more in the diary otherwise. I also do not recall missing out on the writers’ meeting to be with those three, although I do recall us sitting together to watch the show.

The running order from that week is missing, presumed dead, sadly.

But I do, strangely, have the running order and writers’ list from the following week:

I say “strangely” because I wasn’t at the Canal Cafe the following week (Janie and I were in Stratford), nor indeed for the next few weeks, with a mixture of work and Janie commitments. But some kind person saved the running order and writers’ sheet for me.

Why?

Because that late October to early December 1992 run was “peak Harris” in the material use department. Eight of my songs on one show. Too many, frankly.

Whose handwriting is that renaming the show after me?

When Janie, Kim & Micky came to the show, I think there were probably only three or four of mine in the show. I say “only”, I considered three or four pieces to be a good return. I’m guessing:

I especially remember Kim latching on to the Kate Adie one – she still (27 years later) teases me with the opening line of it sometimes.

The irony of the following run, which was “peak Harris” material-wise and also “peak Harris” other commitments-wise is not wasted on me. Looking through my diary, I could only have got to see that run once, in late November, hot-footing it from a works team evening in the City, probably just to see the show.

The Director was Michael Eriera who was clearly not offended by my absence, as he and his team used a lot of my material the next time he directed, in mid 1993. I was a better attendee thee next time around for Michael.

But the $64M questions are:

who was the kind person who saved the 29/30 October 1992 papers for me in my absence?
who was the mischievous person who renamed the show on the writers’ sheet?

Nude For Thought, NewsRevue Lyric, 17 October 1992

I don’t think this one about Madonna was ever used. Certainly it forms part of the Bowden submission of January 1993 and was unused before then.

I don’t think it is a great lyric for a NewsRevue performance, although it does have its moments as a read.

Strange to think that, at the time of writing (December 2016) Madonna is still hanging around and UB40 are doing a comeback tour.

♬ NUDE FOR THOUGHT ♬

(To the Tune of “Food for Thought”)

CHORUS 1

I can see Madonna,

Posing in the nude,

She’s got nothing onna,

And some bits are quite rude.

VERSE 1

Customs at the airport,

They have seized her book,

While they file their report,

They’ll have a closer look.

VERSE 2

Look at nuns in custard,

See her with a sheep,

And I see she’s mustered,

A costume like Bo-Peep.

VERSE 3

Rude things with a candle,

Having oral sex,

Now she has her hands full,

Of fat enormous cheques.

CHORUS 2

I can see Madonna,

Standing in the buff,

I shall be a gonna,

If my wife sees this stuff.

I can see Madonna,

Posing in the raw,

She is not a stunna,

What did I buy this for?

Click here or below for a link to Food For Thought by UB40 with the original lyrics.

Coal Digger, NewsRevue Lyric, 17 October 1992

This was a very successful number, which ran for many weeks in many runs of NewsRevue, including the Christmas run I’m pretty sure and then the Bowden run in early 1993.

It’s a belter, with potential for enough business to keep the audience laughing as well as thinking.

♬ COAL DIGGER ♬

(To the Tune of “Goldfinger” with an acapella horn section)

VERSES 1 & 2

Coal diggers,{ba ba ba}

Fear the man,

The man with the miners touch,

A minus touch.

Such,

A cold figure,{ba ba ba}

31,

John Major’s no friend of mine,

Nor’s Hestletine.

MIDDLE BIT 1

British Coal had a dose of the shits,

So decided to close half the pits,

And the miners all know they’ve been pissed on,

Cos the mining in-dustry’s gone.

VERSE 3

Dole figures,{ba ba ba}

Like the men,

Who live in a mining town,

Just won’t go down.

MIDDLE BIT 2

All the bosses in power are crass,

Cos they think that they need only gas,

So the miners are once again shafted,

By that coal black hearted bastard.

VERSE 4

John Major,{ba ba ba}

Hope he finds,

That trying to shut down coal,

Was an own goal.

copyright © Ian Harris 1992

Click here or below for a karaoke version of Goldfinger with the original lyrics on the screen.

An Evening With Janie, John & Mandy; Death And The Maiden by Ariel Dorfman, Royal Court Theatre at the Duke of York’s Theatre, 17 October 1992

I believe this was the first time that either John or Mandy met Janie; Janie and I had only been going out together for a few weeks by then.

This was also only the second time that Janie and I went to the theatre together – the first time having been our first date; The Street of Crocodiles.

My diary is a bit of a confusion for that evening – indeed all that it reads is “Madness”…

…which I’m sure means “The Madness of George III”. But my theatre log is very clear that 17 October was this particular evening with John and Mandy and my diary also shows that “George III” reigned on 30 September for me:

What I think happened was that Bobbie, once again, could not make the planned theatre visit to see Madness of George III on 17 October, but was very keen to see that play. I vaguely recall Bobbie arranging a ticket swap with friends so that she/we could see “Madness” midweek a couple of weeks earlier and her friends got the prized Saturday night tickets that I had procured.

That freed up the evening of 17 October for Janie to meet John and Mandy and for all of us to see Death And The Maiden, which was still one of the hottest tickets in town that year, even though Juliet Stevenson (who had wowed audiences as the lead) had moved on.

Penny Downie played the lead in the cast we saw, which, as super subs go, is pretty darned super. Danny Webb and Hugh Ross played the male parts.

Janie and I are struggling to remember what other arrangements we made with John and Mandy around this evening. I think we might have had Chinese food in Soho with them before or after the theatre. Perhaps Mayflower? Or Joy King Lau in those days?

I also realise that my diaries at that time are littered with clues that John and Mandy must have recently moved house around that time:

Guessing that John and Mandy moved to Dangan Road that August, hence the address and phone number scrawled on 12 August…

…did I really escape the carnival 30 August to join John and Mandy in the George at Wanstead 30 August? Guessing that “birthday thing” 28 August would have been with my parents, but I’m not entirely sure about events of that weekend other than the 29 August hot date with Janie.

Anyway, on the day I am writing this up (29 August 2017), we shall be seeing John and Mandy later in the day, so I’ll pick their brains on these matters this evening and update this piece accordingly.

Back to Death And The Maiden.

The play is set in an unspecified nation emerging into democracy from brutal dictatorship. Ariel Dorfman was a Chilean exile during the Pinochet years and the brutal regime is clearly based on that one. It is one of those hugely affecting plays about torture and the abuse of power. It brings to mind also One For The Road by Harold Pinter and Fermin Cabal’s Tejas Verdes.

I’m sure we did something after the play – perhaps we did eat afterwards. For sure we’d have needed a drink. For sure we found a way to discuss and decompress together for a while.

I remember being very pleased that John, Mandy and Janie all seemed to get along so well; in that regard alone the evening was a tremendous success (to use John’s favourite adjective). But it was also an excellent evening of theatre and I’m sure we must have eaten and drunk well…if only Janie and I could remember those details too.

Postscript: A strange coda to this story. Both Janie’s and my diairy say “The Madras House” for this evening, not “Death And The Maiden”. But my log says Death And The Maiden and I have no recollection of going to the Lyric with John and Mandy to see The Madras House – Janie and I saw that play at The Orange Tree many years later. Did we make a late switch of play choice or have the memories and documentary records got into a terrible muddle? I think probably the former.

A Sunday Party With Janie At Cathy’s, 11 October 1992

Another of those early dates when the weekends were someowhat otherwise committed but Janie and I ended up doing somthing together.

My diary says “Annalisa?”for the Friday evening. Janie’s says Questor’s Theatre (with her mum) on the Saturday.

But we both went to Cathy’s party on the Sunday. I’m pretty sure this is Cathy Dyson’s party. I’m pretty sure we’re taking Stoke Newington and I’m pretty sure Cathy and Bruce Martin were an item by then.

The details of the events of the party are lost in the mists of time…

…which means it was probably a good one!

Closed To You, NewsRevue Lyric, 10 October 1992

This was a very successful song in NewsRevue. Not a laugh out loud song at all, but a biting/make you think lyric and room for some business.

“Care in the community” was one of that Major Government’s big things. Not much changes (he says, writing in December 2016).

The song ran for several runs towards the end of 1992 and was part of the early 1993 Bowden submission, although I’m not sure Mark used it.

♬ CLOSED TO YOU ♬

(To the Tune of “Close To You”)

(A vagrant wanders the stage, very scruffy, perhaps rummaging in bins, perhaps talking to himself incessantly, perhaps both. The singer and chorus are clearly disturbed by him and hurry out of his way to take their positions.)

VERSES 1 & 2

Why do flies suddenly appear, every time you are near?

Just like fleas, they long to be, close to you.

Passers by all avert their eyes, with the fear that implies,

Traversees, don’t want to be, close to you.

MIDDLE BIT 1

Everyone who sees the poor believes it’s not their problem,

And the homeless ought to find a job to do,

So they hose the vagrants off the streets,

And hope they bugger off to Waterloo.

VERSE 3

That is why all the cops in town, wish that you weren’t around,

{cops in town….wish that you weren’t around}

Endlessly society’s closed to you.

INSTRUMENTAL

(During the instrumental the tramp dances with an inanimate object – e.g. a traffic cone – and talks gently to it – e.g. “Good evening, my dear. Do you come here often. The hyacinths are particularly beautiful this year. Would you care for another glass of sherry?”)

MIDDLE BIT 2

When the Tories came to power, accountants got together,

And decided they could save a bob or two.

So they closed the residential homes,

Those Tories are more lunatic than you.

VERSE 4

That is why cranks roam round the town, since their homes were shut down,

{cranks roam town….since their homes were shut down}

Care in the community’s closed to you.

Care in the community’s closed to you.

(Either end it there, or dance off going “Waaahhh, closed to you”)

copyright © Ian Harris 1992

Click here or below for a link to Close To You by The Carpenters with lyrics on the screen.

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