No wonder this lyric wasn’t used in a topical show. Writing about it more than 25 years later, March 2019, I’d only need to change a word or two to make it perfectly relevant today.
I might just do that…
THE SNARLING CABBIE
(To the Tune of “The Laughing Policeman”)
VERSE 1
PASSENGER:I know a snarling cabbie,
He really is irate;
He drives around old London town,
And gets into a state.
His black cab cuts up traffic,
He loves to shake his fist;
So people call him wanker,
On account of his firm wrist.
CHORUS 1
TAXI DRIVER:South of London? not this driver,
Now it’s time to pay.
Four pound fifty, change a fiver?
I’ve no change today.
You’ll get coated with saliva,
When I turn and say;
I aint got no sales slips neither,
Get out of me way.
VERSE 2
PASSENGER:Now folk who live in London,
Have had their fill of flack;
They hire the scabs in minicabs,
And not the taxis black.
But people went half round the bend,
Because alas alack;
The mini-cabbies snarl’s as bad,
Cos their trade’s also slack.
CHORUS 2
MINI-CABBIE:Business better? Not in this town,
Cabbing’s now the pits;
Bleedin’ Tories, getting me down,
John Major’s a git.
Had that geezer Paddy Ashdown,
Do a back seat flit;
PASSENGER:I’ll get round by underground and dodge this heap of shit.
The embedded video below has Charles Jolly (Penrose) singing The Laughing Policeman:
If you want to read the lyrics to The Laughing Policeman, click here.