On the whole I remember the better of my lyrics well and have forgotten some of the less interesting ones. But just occasionally I surprise myself and this mini-opera falls into that category.
The conceit of these lyrics was to speculate a few weeks before the Autumn Budget as to its possible content.
Not only am I immensely proud of these lyrics on rereading them in April 2019, but I recall what a stunning job John Random and his NewsRevue cast did with this piece.
Ken Clarke, then Chancellor and the central villain of the mini-opera, is, 25 years later, seen as a voice of Tory moderation. Times change, to some extent. Yet the closing number seems as apt today as it did in 1993.
_ 1993 AUTUMN BUDGET RUN UP MINI OPERA _
(To various tunes from “Oliver”)
FOOD TAXABLE FOOD (tax inspector’s chorus to “Food Glorious Food”)
If we tax the sick and poor, will they live to 84?
Lets put V.A.T. on fu-el;
When they can’t pay off their loans, put them into paupers homes,
Then we’ll also tax their gru-el;
Duty on crusts, every crumb shall be fined, till they beg or they borrow or cadge;
Then charge more for prescriptions, when they get the flu, then we’ll tax funerals, just imagine:
Food taxable food,
VAT putting the lamp on;
Tax songs that are crude,
Excise a large tampon;
Huge levies on orange juice,
That’s normal in Denmark;
Which fruit was let on the loose?
Must be Ken Clarke……
(‘ere ‘ee comes fellers; the Clarkful Bodger)
I’M REVIEWING THIS NEW TAXATION (Ken Clarke is “Reviewing the Situation”)
I’m reviewing this new taxation,
I’m a lawyer and my sums are not so good;
With my budget for reinflation,
I should tax the rich and be like Robin Hood.
Cos I have the autonomy,
To fuck up the economy,
So don’t expect much bon hommie,
On budget day from John or me,
I’ll tax the wealthy hopefully,
But then they might not vote for me;
(thinks)….I think I’d better think it out again.
CON EVERYONE BUT THE RICH (tax inspector’s chorus to “Consider Yourself”)
Con everyone but the rich,
Con everyone who’s not a Conservative,
We’ve burdened the poor so long,
It’s clear, we’re, doing the numbers wrong;
See if yer chancella’s la-di-da or uppity,
Tax yer cup of tea ‘n’all;
But there’s a chance that Ken will end up at number ten,
‘less the Tory party falls.
Con everyone but your mate,
The poor never vote for us,
So after fiscal legislation Ken can state,
KEN:Con everyone not one of us.
Below is Food Glorious Food from Oliver! with the lyrics on the screen:
Below is Ron Moody singing Reviewing The Situation:
Here is a link to Reviewing The Situation lyrics.
Below is Consider Yourself from Oliver!