Month: November 1993

The Walls (Las Paredes) by Griselda Gambaro, Orange Tree Room, 13 November 1993

This was the third of just three productions Janie and I saw together in The Orange Tree Room (the original Orange Tree above the pub) before that super space closed down. For just a short while, the Orange Tree ran the purpose built theatre and the room.

The other two were:

Of the three, I for some reason I only retained the “programme” (sheet of paper) for The Belle.

This so frustrating, because this production of The Walls was superb – we were spellbound by it. But sadly (unlike Saigon Rose) it doesn’t seem to have been reviewed – or at least not by any resources available on-line.

I have managed, by detective work, to determine that the play we saw is a translation of Las Paredes by Griselda Gambaro.

By Sara Facio (Revista Argentina 1970) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

I have managed to find a review of a more recent production of this play in DC – click here or below:

Las Paredes (The Walls)

As the above review is pretty much all I can find on this play, I have also scraped it to here for just in case.

That review gives you a feel for the play and the production we saw, which tried (with a very limited budget and space) to create that increasingly claustrophobic feeling and did so very well.

I wish I could record who was in it and who directed/designed the production at the Orange Tree Room because it really was excellent in our book.

Perhaps the Orange Tree has an archive into which I can delve at some point.

Janie and I saw this production just before we set off for our first big holiday, to China and Bali. I remember we talked about this play/production a lot and for a long time.

Of all the leaflets to mislay…but perhaps they had run out of leaflets. The Orange Tree Room was on its way out by then; what a pity.

If anyone reading this posting has any information about the production, please let me know through the comments or message system.

Postscript: Newspapers.com allowed me to find the following clipping from The Guardian – appropriately with a typo in the second word of the main text!

The Walls ListingThe Walls Listing Sat, Nov 20, 1993 – 218 · The Guardian (London, Greater London, England) · Newspapers.com

1993 Autumn Budget Mini-Opera Based On Various Tunes From Oliver!, NewsRevue Lyrics, 8 November 1993

On the whole I remember the better of my lyrics well and have forgotten some of the less interesting ones. But just occasionally I surprise myself and this mini-opera falls into that category.

The conceit of these lyrics was to speculate a few weeks before the Autumn Budget as to its possible content.

Not only am I immensely proud of these lyrics on rereading them in April 2019, but I recall what a stunning job John Random and his NewsRevue cast did with this piece.

Ken Clarke, then Chancellor and the central villain of the mini-opera, is, 25 years later, seen as a voice of Tory moderation. Times change, to some extent. Yet the closing number seems as apt today as it did in 1993.

_ 1993 AUTUMN BUDGET RUN UP MINI OPERA _

(To various tunes from “Oliver”)
 
FOOD TAXABLE FOOD (tax inspector’s chorus to “Food Glorious Food”)
 
If we tax the sick and poor, will they live to 84?
Lets put V.A.T. on fu-el;
When they can’t pay off their loans, put them into paupers homes,
Then we’ll also tax their gru-el;
Duty on crusts, every crumb shall be fined, till they beg or they borrow or cadge;
Then charge more for prescriptions, when they get the flu, then we’ll tax funerals, just imagine:
 
Food taxable food,
VAT putting the lamp on;
Tax songs that are crude,
Excise a large tampon;
Huge levies on orange juice,
That’s normal in Denmark;
Which fruit was let on the loose?
Must be Ken Clarke……
(‘ere ‘ee comes fellers; the Clarkful Bodger)
 
I’M REVIEWING THIS NEW TAXATION (Ken Clarke is “Reviewing the Situation”)
 
I’m reviewing this new taxation,
I’m a lawyer and my sums are not so good;
With my budget for reinflation,
I should tax the rich and be like Robin Hood.
 
Cos I have the autonomy,
To fuck up the economy,
So don’t expect much bon hommie,
On budget day from John or me,
I’ll tax the wealthy hopefully,
But then they might not vote for me;
(thinks)….I think I’d better think it out again.
 
CON EVERYONE BUT THE RICH (tax inspector’s chorus to “Consider Yourself”)
 
Con everyone but the rich,
Con everyone who’s not a Conservative,
We’ve burdened the poor so long,
It’s clear, we’re, doing the numbers wrong;
See if yer chancella’s la-di-da or uppity,
Tax yer cup of tea ‘n’all;
But there’s a chance that Ken will end up at number ten,
‘less the Tory party falls.
Con everyone but your mate,
The poor never vote for us,
So after fiscal legislation Ken can state,
KEN:Con everyone not one of us.

Below is Food Glorious Food from Oliver! with the lyrics on the screen:

Below is Ron Moody singing Reviewing The Situation:

Here is a link to Reviewing The Situation lyrics.

Below is Consider Yourself from Oliver!

Here is a link to Consider Yourself lyrics.

Mr Director by Fay Weldon, Orange Tree Theatre, 6 November 1993

We took Pauline with us to this revival of Fay Weldon’s Mr Director at the Orange Tree.

I think we were all a little underwhelmed by the play, but never mind.

We went to Don Fernando afterwards. There’s a good chance we had paella there, as Janie made some notes in her diary about waiting times for same in Don Fernando.

I don’t think anyone argued or passed out or anything dramatic on this occasion.

Underwhelming drama all round.

Panto Act, Written For Ben Murphy, 2 November 1993

Ben Murphy must have asked for material along these lines and I must have written this. Reading between the lines, he was playing Baron Hardup in Rhyl. This short set is a mish mosh of:

I don’t think anyone will be telling their grandchildren about this one.

_ PANTO ACT _

(Ian’s wierd attempt to write panto material)
 
SHAGGY BARON (Ugly Duckling)
 
There once was a shaggy Baron,
With whiskers all stubbly and grey;
And the audience,
Yelled “Ben you are dense,
But find a song to play.
Sing a song,
Sing sing a song,
Sing sing a song today.”
 
[Perhaps insist that children yell the sing sing stuff and refuse to continue until they have done so loud enough etc]
 
FILLER 1
 
Oh alright then.  As you asked so nicely.  The only thing is, I am a very poor Baron.  Baron Hardup.  So I have to travel all over the country singing nasty songs to try to scrape a living.  Do you mind if I sing you nasty songs?   Really?   Are you sure?  See if you can work out who I am now.
 
BETTER FACE (Heal The World)
 
There’s a mug that you see on your TV frequently,
‘Though I look differently I’m Michael Jackson;
It may be a surprise ‘cos you may not recognise,
The new bits that my plastic surgeon tacks on.
I may have a face lift, a nose job or a skin shift,
To have a better face and a different race.
 
Every year, I’m gonna have a better face,
Both my eyes and my nose will be in a different place;
Now my cheeks need grouting,
And my lips have been fixed pouting,
It’s the strangest face that you’ve ever seen.
 
FILLER 2
 
I like children.  Really I do.  Hey kids; what’s orange and sounds like a parrot?  A carrot.  Kids, you’ll have to sing along to the next song.  Here we go. 
 
IF I HAD A STAMMER (If I had a hammer)
 
Oohh oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh oohh, oohh, oohh,
Oohh oohh, oohh, oohh, oohh oohh, oohh, oohh;
If I had a stammer,
I’d stammer in the morning,
I’d s s s s s s;
 
FILLER 3
 
This next one’s a slower number for all you parents out there.
 
MARIO (Maria)
 
Mario, I’ve just bought my kids a Nintendo,
And suddenly that game, seems boring and seems tame, to them;
Mario, I am singing this in the wrong key-o,
And suddenly each note, is catching in my throat badly;
Mario, in one day my kids clocked your new meter,
Now they’re bored sitting watching Blue Peter;
Mario, how I wish that your upgrades were free-o.
 
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (Nellie the Elephant)
 
Sonic the hedgehog has packed his punch,
And made a pile for the Sega,
Off he goes with a jumpety jump jump jump jump.
 
FILLER 4
 
Do you like Take That?  I can’t hear you.  Do you like Take That?  Pardon?  etc
 
TAKE THAT FANS PANTO (Teddy Bear’s Picinic)
 
If you go down to the pantomime you’re in for a big surprise,
If you go down to the pantomime you’d better go in disguise;
For every kid that’s sitting in Rhyl,
Is sure Take That are totally brill,
Today’s the day the Take That fans go to panto.
 
IT ONLY TOOK FIVE MINUTES KIDS (It only took a minute girl)
 
It only took five minutes, kids,
To write this act,
And gosh it shows,
It only took five minutes kids…..
 
Goodnight!!

Below is Danny Kaye singing the Ugly Duckling Song with lyrics on the screen:

Below is the song Maria with lyrics on screen:

Below is Mandy Miller singing Nellie The Elephant:

This link shows the lyrics to Nellie the Elephant.

Below is It Only Takes A Minute sung by Take That! with lyrics on the screen.