I don’t think this lyric was used. I had loads in the show at that time, not least plenty of John Major material. Frankly, I think the others that were used were probably better. But a few decent ideas in this one.
The disaster song genre seemed appropriate at that time…
…retro-writing in the spring of 2019, that disaster genre would be good for our current times too.
_ JOHNNY LEADS HOPELESSLY _
(To the Tune of “Johnny Remember Me”)
VERSE 1 – JOHN MAJOR
{Ah, ah, ah-oh}
When the press is prying and the smears are flowing,
And the daily papers are full of innuendo; {oh-oh}
I’m castigated by Norman,
The Chancellor that I sacked a year ago. {oh-oh}
CHORUS 1 – NORMAN LAMONT
Johnny leads hopelessly.
VERSE 2 – JOHN MAJOR
Well it’s hard to believe, I know,
But he’s still so tactless when he talks to the press;
‘Specially if they feed him, {oh-oh}
And get him legless. {oh-oh}
CHORUS 2 – NORMAN LAMONT
(Now sounding quite drunk) (hic) – Johnny leads hopelessly.
(Then coming to a little) But, now I can remember,
Ginny Dougary, made a buggery -(hic);
Ginny, misquoted me.
{GINNY:oh-no, oh-no, that’s what he said to me}
VERSE 3 – JOHN MAJOR
Well I’m glad, I guess, I found myself, another Chancellor,
To take the place of that juice head;
But as long as I live I know, Norman will be loitering around in the House,
Feeling like a leper, and buying booze at Threshers;
CHORUS 3
NORMAN (soaked):(hic) Johnny remembers me,
JOHNNY:Yes, I’ll always remember;
Your skulduggery,
NORMAN (soused):(hic) Oh bugger me,
Johnny dismembered me (hic).
(Norman passes out and is dragged off by chorus {Johnny, dismembered him})
Below is John Leyton singing Johnny Remember Me: