Have I The Right, Regrettably Unused NewsRevue Song, 12 February 1995

I can usually tell now why songs were unused, but some were most unjustly overlooked…like this one.

Perhaps a bit too much going on in one item? Still, pearls before swine, were some of these lyrics. Ian Paisley singing “come right back to 1690” should have been performed.

I co-wrote this one with John Cowen. Perhaps that explains why so much is going on in one lyric.

John Random might choose to explain why this one was unused, as it transpires it was submitted to him.

HAVE I THE RIGHT
(To the Tune of “Have I The Right?”)
VERSE 1 – JOHN MAJOR

Have I the right behind me?
Or will the rebels gag and bind me,
Will Tebitt ever ever stop;
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh.
Have I the right invectives,
Bastard and dimwit are ineffective,
So I might soon be for the chop.
(Sing along now, entourage, yes, both of you)

CHORUS 1 – JOHN MAJOR & HIS ENTOURAGE

Come right back, you Eurosceptics,
You’re loud and mad and you’re apoplectic,
Come right back, to 32 Smith Square (oh yeh);
Come right back, rejoin our party,
Or we’ll get Blair and his arty-fartys,
Slick right back like Mike Portillo’s hair (oh yeh).

VERSE 2 – JOHN MAJOR

Have I the right wing morons?
The Teddy Taylors and Theresa Gormans,
I wish that I was reassured,
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh.
Have I the Ulster crazies?
The Molyneauxs and the Ian Paisley’s,
They’re angry with my peace accord;

CHORUS 2 – IAN PAISLEY

Come right back to 1690,
We won at Boyne and we’re part of Blighty,
Come right back to Ulster Union (oh yus);
Come right back, to times medieval,
Talks with the Irish are a damn-ed evil,
Come far right or you will soon be gone, (oh yus), (JOHN MAJOR: Oh no)
ALL: Soon be gone, oh yeh, (JOHN MAJOR: Oh no)
Soon be gone.

If you want to hear the Honeycombs and see their lyrics, click below.