Greenpeace, NewsRevue Lyric, Probably Unused, 26 November 1995

This one must be a slightly tinkered version of one I submitted in October. I don’t think it was ever used. Presumably Greenpeace were trying to stop nuclear tests at that time. A few good puns in there…

…and I can play Greensleeves on my baroq-ulele – I might give this one a go now.

GREENPEACE
(To the Tune of “Greensleeves”)
VERSE 1

As I was watching the forests fail,
And collecting water up in my pail;
I thought I’d save the Bikini Whale,
So I signed up a contract with Greenpeace.

CHORUS 1

Greenpeace is an Irish cause,
Cos they said “Muroa Atoll, Atoll”,
Although I had never sailed before,
I took charge of a boat name of Greenpeace.

VERSE 2

As I was sailing the southern seas,
A frogman got on beside of me,
He said “zis vessel aaass now been seized”,
And he made the sea boil round the Greenpeace.

CHORUS 2

Greenpeace were a mite upset,
Cos I lost their boat in his fishing net,
I’m cold and scared and I’m soaking wet,
And don’t know why I’ve now got these green sleeves.

VERSE 3

Then Greenpeace took me to task in spite,
And their weird tribunals went on all night,
If I had wanted a frigging fight,
I’d have signed for the French Foreign Legion.
(Shows arm) I’ve got a French foreign lesion on this arm and it’s getting bigger.

CHORUS 3

Greenpeace, I’ve now made my mark,
And my heads both glow when I’m in the dark;
I pee for laser shows in the park,
Which is why my nickname now is Green Piss.

Here is a version of Greensleeves with some Tudor-sounding lyrics: