The Shit Of Araby, NewsRevue Lyric, 26 November 1995

This lyric did nicely, if I recall correctly. Very performable.

I am delighted to report that Jonathan Aitken did not get away with his crimes, despite the outcome inferred by the lyric.

THE SHIT OF ARABY
(To the Tune of “The Sheikh of Araby”)
VERSE 1 – JONATHAN AITKEN

I’m the shit of Araby,
A right fat cat Tory;
Jon Aitken is my name,
Gun running is my game.

When I meet those Saudi gits,
They put me in the Ritz;
With cars and jewellery,
Cos they want my weaponry.

MIDDLE EIGHT – THE PRESS

He’s the shit of Araby,
And when he leaves the Treasury,
You should see him follow sheikhs around;
That’s bad.
Even though he’s ripped off half the Nation,
He’ll still sue for defamation,
Guardian and World in Action found.

AITKEN: I’m a cad;

When he’s laying down to sleep,
He’s counting guns instead of sheep;
From his pockets,
Arms and rockets sprout;
Who’s counting?
He knows vital statistics,
Like girls with huge ballistics
He’s a shit who knows arms dealing inside out.

OUTRO – AITKEN

I’ll sue the media liberally,
Cos I’m the Chief of Treasury;
And if I treat the judge nicely (winks),
I’m sure the court will side with me.

Here is a YouTube of Spike Jones and His City Slickers version, including the “patter” section parodied above:

Here is a link to the lyrics, including the patter verse.

I also found a wonderful video version of Spike Jones & His City Slickers performing this number, but without the patter – amazing vid though, Spike Jones himself seen on percussion.

I wrote an update 24 June 1997:

THE SHIT OF ARABY – 1997 REMIX
(To the Tune of “The Sheikh of Araby”)

 

VERSE 1 – JONATHAN AITKEN

I’m the shit of Araby,
A right fat cat Tory;
Jon Aitken is my name,
Gun running is my game.

When I meet those Saudi gits,
They put me in the Ritz;
With cars and jewellery,
Cos they want my weaponry.

MIDDLE EIGHT – THE PRESS

He’s the shit of Araby,
And Aitken left the Treasury,
Just to follow gun-crazed sheikhs around;
That’s bad.
Even though he ripped off half the Nation,
He still sued for defamation,
Guardian and World in Action found.

AITKEN: I’m a cad;

When he’s laying down to sleep,
He’s counting guns instead of sheep;
From his pockets,
Arms and rockets sprout;
Who’s counting?
He knows vital statistics,
Like girls with huge ballistics
He’s a shit who knows arms dealing inside out.

OUTRO – AITKEN

I sued the media liberally,
I thought the judge would side with me;
But lost my seat on the Privy;
And I’ll go down for perjury.