The Tax Cuts Are The Weakest, NewsRevue Lyric, 27 November 1995

Almost certainly unused, this feels like a pun on a song title stretched beyond reason. I’m not even sure what I was really trying to say with this one.

THE TAX CUTS ARE THE WEAKEST
(To the Tune of “The First Cut is the Deepest”)
VERSE 1 – KEN CLARKE

I would have levied your hearts and your souls,
But we’ve fallen behind in the polls;
And since I’ve taken almost all that you’ve got,
This time around I’ll hand it back again,
Voters, I’ll hand it back again, but you know…….

CHORUS 1

Our tax cuts are the weakest,
(Surely you know)
Our tax cuts are the weakest;
Cos when it comes to pleasing people we’re cursed,
So when it comes to lower tax, we’re first,
But once we’re back in number ten it’s reversed,
(That’s how it is)
Our tax cuts are the weakest,
(Surely you know)
Our tax cuts are the weakest.

VERSE 2 – KEN CLARKE

I still want you fiscally,
So I’ll stump up fag and booze duty,
And sneak some extra dosh through VAT,
With half a chance I’d tax and spend again,
Voters, I’ll tax and spend again, cos you know…..
Ooohhh ooohhh

CHORUS 2

Our tax cuts are the meanest,
(Surely you know)
Our tax cuts are the meanest;
And when it comes to help the needy we’re worst,
Cos looking after number one comes first,
That’s why we’re squeezing you pip-squeaks ’til you burst,
(That’s how it is)
Our tax cuts are the meanest,
(Stuff Tony Blaire)
Our tax cuts are the weakest,
(Load of hot air)
OUR TAX CUTS ARE THE WEAKEST!!!

Here is Cat Stevens singing The First Cut Is The Deepest. Load YouTube to read lyrics in the text area beneath: