Christmas Song, NewsRevue Lyric, 26 November and 30 November 1995

I like this lyric but I’m not sure it got used much, if at all. I assigned the rights to ChildLine.

I wrote two versions in quick order – the second is better I think – here’s the second (I’ll place the first version right at the end for completist purposes):

CHRISTMAS SONG – VERSION 2
(To the Tune of “Mary’s Boy Child”)
VERSE 1

Long time ago in Kingston town,
A calypso star went wrong;
Harry Belafonte sang,
A putrid Christmas song.

CHORUS 1

“Merry Christmas” Slade does sing,
But no-one’s having fun;
And Cliff will try for ever more,
For Christmas number ones.

VERSE 2

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had,
A very shiny nose and fur;
Frosty snowman cut a disc,
With Oasis and with Blur.

CHORUS 2

Santa Claus has come to town,
To get on all our tits;
And man must listen ever more,
To ghastly Christmas hits.

OUTRO

Preach goodwill one day each year,
Pretend we’re all not gits;
And charities will ever more,
Launch putrid Christmas hits.

Here is Harry Belafonte singing Mary’s Boy Child with the lyrics:

Here’s the first version of my lyric:

CHRISTMAS SONG
(To the Tune of “Mary’s Boy Child”)
VERSE 1

Long time ago in Kingston town,
A calypso star went wrong;
Harry Belafonte sang,
A putrid Christmas song.

CHORUS 1

“Merry Christmas” Slade does sing,
But no-one’s having fun;
And man will bill for ever more,
A Christmas number one.

VERSE 2

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had,
An extremely shiny nose;
Frosty snowman cut a disc,
With Seal and Axil Rose.

CHORUS 2

Santa Claus has come to town,
To get on all our tits;
And man must listen ever more,
To ghastly Christmas hits.

I even had another go with it in December 1996:

CHRISTMAS SONG – 1996
(To the Tune of “Mary’s Boy Child”)

VERSE 1

Long time ago in Kingston town,
A calypso star went wrong;
Harry Belafonte sang,
A putrid Christmas song.

CHORUS 1

(Ding dong ding dong)
“Merry Christmas” Slade does sing,
But no-one’s having fun;
And Cliff will try for ever more,
For Christmas number ones.
(Funk it up now)

VERSE 2

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer had,
A shiny nose and shiny fur;
Frosty snowman cut a disc,
With Oasis and with Blur.

CHORUS 2

(Ding dong ding dong)
Santa Claus has come to town,
To get on all our tits;
And man must listen ever more,
To ghastly Christmas hits.

OUTRO

Preach goodwill one day each year,
Pretend we’re all not gits;
And charities will ever more,
Launch putrid Christmas hits.