I think this one could have done very well in the show, but no-one other than me believed…
HOORAY FOR BOLLYWOOD
(To the Tune of “Hooray For Bollywood”)
(The more Indian paraphernalia the better for this one)CHORUS 1
Hooray for Bollywood, Bombay’s equivalent of Hollywood;
Where any actress name of Shah or Patel, can be like cattle,
A holy cow who can’t act;
A punkawallah can leave his squalor,
To join a crowd scene that is at least as packed.
Hooray for Bollywood, we’re making movies, they’re no bloody good;
Where any caste may have Sudras and Brahmans to sing like Carmen,
And dance around their manhood,
They’re worse than Bombay duck but no-one gives a fuck;
Hooray for Bollywood; Hooray for Bollywood!!INTERMISSION
And now for a commercial break.
“You don’t have to go to England to try genuine English cuisine. Merely three minutes walk from this Bombay cinema and you are in the Buckingham Palace Fish and Chip Restaurant. Peter Parker and his friendly staff serve you fish and chips in typical Northern English style. Batter flavours include Madras and Vindaloo. Peter Parker’s Pukka Palace Place”.CHORUS 2
Hooray for Bollywood, where women sing and dance more than they should;
They howl and shriek in Tamil and in Urdu, they sound like nerds who,
Have just got their privates nailed;
They sound more arty in Gujarati,
Cos then the wailing sounds like they’ve been impaled.
Hooray for Bollywood,
Get it on cable in your neighbourhood;
Now Rupert Murdoch can broadcast a channel, That’s so much flannel,
It makes Sky One appear good;
Subscribe your weekly pay,
And watch these films all day;
Hooray for Bollywood,
That cow’s half naked,
Hooray for Bollywood,
Is nothing sacred?
Hooray for Bollywood!!
Here is Benny Goodman and his Orchestra with Johnny ‘Scat’ Davis & Frances Langford, performing Hooray For Hollywood: