I don’t recall this one making the show, but I was attending NewsRevue a bit less often by late 1996, so it might have done without me seeing it. It shows due reverence for the fag end of that Tory government, and for the rock group Oasis.
WHAT’S THE STORY, BORING TORY
(To the Tune of “What’s the Story, Morning Glory”)
VERSE 1
All our dreams are made,
When were chained from the goolies by a chambermaid,
This is Conservative morality;
Another conference afternoon,
Listening to the crap from our favourite loon,
The public only hope it’ll all be over soon.CHORUS 1
Need some little lies to make up, Need some little lies to make up, make up,
Need a few more lines to fake up, Need a party line to bend your mind,
We’ll get your vote in the end so might as well.
What’s the story, boring Tory, Well?
We need a few more lies to make up make up, Hell?
What’s the story, boring Tory, Hell?
Need a few more lies to make up make up.VERSE 2
All our votes are won,
When the press gets all jingoistic, read the Sun,
We’re sprouting on so Eurosceptically;
Another low opinion poll,
Another gaff and minister deep in a hole,
Tomorrow no-one knows what was the controversy.CHORUS 2
Need a minister to scapegoat, (Ken Clarke), Need a good excuse to scapegoat, Ken Clarke,
Need to exorcise the turncoat, Not the party line, so just resign,
Not one of us, so we guess you might as well.
What’s the story, warning Tories, Well?
Just hold the party line and wake up wake up, Well?
What’s the story, boring Tories, Well?
Need a few more lies to make up make up, Well?OUTRO
MAJOR: Why can’t we be successful like Oasis?
CLARKE: We’re very much like Oasis, Prime Minister. Always squabbling, consistently failing to please the public, and no-one outside Britain takes us even faintly seriously.
Below is Oasis singing What’s the Story, Morning Glory with lyrics on the screen.