This was an attempt at a perennial silly summer holiday song for NewsRevue. I’m not sure it works, despite a few good lines. I’m pretty sure it didn’t get used in NewsRevue.
YOU ME AND JULIO DOWN BY THE SEASIDE
(To the Tune of “You Me And Julio Down By The School Yard”)
VERSE 1 – BOTH
We’re Sharon and Tracy, plan to get away,
Want to fly to the Costa Brava;
Gary got sloshed, so we borrowed his dosh,
Which started the whole ffff palaver.
It’s not against the law,
It’s not against the law,
A bit of fun and more,
That’s what we came ‘ere for.VERSE 2
SHAZZA: Julio waits in the “Cafe Ole”,
So we ordered his huge paella,
TRACE: Shazza got laid, while muggings here paid,
And got a bleedin’ dose of salmonella
We’re well on our way,
We don’t know where we’re staying,
We’re well on our way,
We’ll ‘ave some fun while we sort it out;
Goodbye to Gary and Wayne back in Essex,
It’s you, me and Julio down by the seaside;
Screw you, me and Julio down by the seaside.VERSE 3
In a couple of days, coppers took us away,
And the Spanish cells are not well nice;
The judge looked delighted when he had us extradited,
We was all over El Pais;
(TRACE: You was all over the bleedin police ‘n’ all
SHAZZA: Shut up you fat slag. You can bleedin’ talk)
We’re well on our way,
We’re flying back to England,
We’re well on our way,
Hopin’ Gary and Wayne don’t mind;
Goodbye to Julio and his Tapas on the ‘ouse
(SHAZZA: Tap us on the arse – ha ha
TRACE: Shut up you fat slag),
You, me, Wayne and Gary down home in Southend,
You, me, Wayne and Gary sloshed down in Southend,
Shaz, Trace, Wayne and Gary sloshed down in Southend – Ole.
Below is the official Paul Simon video of Me And Julio Down By the Schoolyard which I’d never seen before and is well worth the three minutes investment required.
Click here for the lyrics to Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard.