I remember that this one was used and I remember that it amused several of the regular NewsRevue writers (as well as, hopefully, the audience). It’s an “aftermath of volcano eruption” story, basically.
MONSERRAT
(To the Tune of “Monster Mash”)
VERSE 1
I was walking down the street in a Leeward Isle,
When I saw a huge eruption in New Labour’s style;
Something hot was smouldering in southern ports,
Robin Cook was rowing with his muse, Claire Short.CHORUS 1
She is a bat,
(Down in Monserrat);
In Monserrat,
(It’s a New Labour spat),
In Monserrat,
(Down in Monserrat)
In Monserrat
(It was in Monserrat)VERSE 2
Ancient rocks descended on the Albert Hall,
Elton, Sting, Phil Collins, Ringo, George and Paul;
Many paid a hundred, others paid yet more,
Tho’ no-one left on Monserrat is faintly poor.CHORUS 2
They passed the hat,
(Round for Monserrat);
For Monserrat,
(Now that the ground’s less flat);
Volcano’s shat,
(All over Monserrat),
It’s Monserrat,
(Oh Fuck Monserrat!!)
Below is a video of Bobby “Boris” Pickett singing The Monster Mash: