20 September 2010: Second Long Finance Conference, Guildhall
Not content with being berated by the Evening Standard and mobbed by a groupie after singing at the inaugural Long Finance Conference…
…I agreed to write another singalong for the second Long Finance conference. Another high-falutin’ bunch, including Neal Stephenson and Faisal Islam graced our event. Here is the rubric on the event.
I thought I took great care to choose a suitably reverent but not religious tune for this event and explained such on the lyric sheet:
Interlude
WHO WOULD REAL COMMERCE SEE
(Song to the Tune of “He Who Would Valiant Be” *)Who would real commerce see,
Let us come hither;
Market stability,
Come wind, come weather;
There’s no discouragement, shall make us once relent;
Our first avowed intent, to see long finance.Growth came so thick and fast,
For many seasons;
Few thought it wouldn’t last,
Despite the reasons;
Up graphs and surging charts, disguised the trend in part;
Still we can make a start, to be long finance.No goblin nor foul gnome,
Can much restrain us;
We know that in the end,
Truth will sustain us;
Stale thinking go away, we’ll find a better way;
And labour night and day, strictly long finance.Who would real commerce see,
Let us come hither;
Market stability,
Come wind, come weather;
There’s no discouragement, shall make us once relent;
Our first avowed intent, to see long finance.We would like to thank Steve Cunliffe for kindly providing the soundtrack.
* This traditional folk melody is also known as “Our Captain Cried All Hands”, “Monksgate”, “Blacksmith” and probably several other names. With acknowledgement to John Bunyan’s poem “Who Would True Valour See” and to Ralph Vaughan Williams who spotted this lovely folk tune’s anthem quality.
Nevertheless, one battleaxe attendee accosted me and complained bitterly that my use of that tune was sacrilege. No amount of explaining satisfied her; sacrilege was sacrilege. I thought at the time that I got off lightly with just a verbal handbagging – she looked ready to let rip.
I discussed this with Brian Eno some days later, who suggested that, across two gigs, a total of one rubbishing by the press, one flattering groupie and one nutcase hater was about par for the course.
Anyway, the speakers and we organisers had a dinner with Dudley Edmunds at The Farmers Club that evening, which was an interesting and pleasant way to end the day.
28 September: Beyond Crisis, Gill Ringland, Gresham College, Museum Of London
I was to give a lecture in the same series a few weeks later…
…so felt it was only polite to turn up to the other lectures in the series. In any case, Gill Ringland is always good value and this Gresham Lecture was no exception.
The Gresham site says that the lecture was at 12:00 midnight but believe me it was early evening:
30 September: An Even Shorter History of Nearly Everything, Bill Bryson, Gresham College, Guildhall
Two days later I was in the Gresham fold again and also back at The Guildhall; the scene of the “crime” that was my Long Finance song.
Bill Bryson‘s lecture was excellent.
The Gresham site says that the lecture was at 12:00 midnight but believe me it was early evening:
For some reason, Bill’s is embeddable whereas Gill’s is not:
I seem to recall a pleasant reception afterwards too and a brief opprtunity to meet the great man.
5 October: Payroll Giving Awards, Scheduled For No 11 Downing Street But Actually At the Treasury That Year
I was still chairing the panel of judges at that time.
I recall some amusing business with regard to the Police Service of Northern Ireland, who didn’t want to commit to travel to the event unless they had won, but we were of course sworn to secrecy over the matter.
I managed to find a way to encourage them to come without actually telling them that they had won. i think I used language along the lines of:
The last thing I’d want is some angry policemen from Northern Ireland in the room at the end of that evening, but I would very much like you to come along if you possibly can.
I think the gentleman got the hint because they came and were thrilled with their win, which was much deserved that year. Here is a link to results.
Nick Hurd did the presentations that year (as he did again two years later) – he came across as somewhat tired and emotional at the 2010 event – unimpressively so.
We had been scheduled for No 11 that year, but something went awry with those plans. We did land No 11 the following year, thouygh, to make up for it.
Still, we had a very good evening at the Treasury in 2010.