Category: Cricket

Middlesex v Surrey Day 3, Lords, Stumpfmerde & MTWD Match Report, 30 July 2010

Another day of county championship cricket at Lord’s that needs a bit of explaining.

Michael Mainelli and I had formed a bit of a tradition that, each year, we’d spend a few hours at Lord’s watching first class cricket and chatting strategically/laterally/crazily about our business, Z/Yen.

In earlier years, before such sessions took place at Lord’s, we called them “Stiermerde sessions”, not that bullshit came into it…of course it didn’t. Once such sessions were at Lord’s, we called them “Stumpfmerde sessions” instead.

Michael must have enjoyed it because his e-mail that evening included:

Great Stumpfmerde and thank you…

My response included:

Indeed I have cleared my e-mails and shall down tools. But I couldn’t do so before scribbling and uploading today’s match report.

http://www.cricketnetwork.co.uk/main/middlesex-ccc/s66/st161035/surrey-completely-clerihew-cornered

Very enjoyable day. And productive Stumpfmerdwise and bookwise too.

Oh, and you really did miss lots of excitement by leaving early – 6 wickets in the last hour, five of them to the youngster Toby Roland-Jones who is the product of your charming neighbour’s brother at the Middlesex Academy. What a happy coincidence!

Just in case anything ever goes awry with the MTWD website, I have scraped that strange match report to here.

I must say that it had completely escaped my memory that I witnessed that exceptional breakthrough performance by Toby Roland-Jones on a Stumpfmerde day – in my mind I would have completely separated the two events.

Here is a link to the Cricinfo scorecard for that match.

I’m glad I spotted the star quality that evening. Neville Cardus would not have spotted it better. Nor would Cardus have reported in clerihews.

Middlesex v Sussex, Uxbridge, Party At End Of Day Two Plus MTWD Match Report Day Three, 22 & 23 July 2010

Uxbridge Cricket Club and Ground

This will take a bit of explaining, as the match report I wrote for the Middlesex Till We Die (MTWD) website – click here to see that – is a sequence of haikus.

(If anything by chance happens to MTWD, that article is scraped to here.)

But I do remember the events of the 24 hours or so in question.

In those days, Vic Demain, now the head groundsman at Durham CCC, was the groundsman at Uxbridge. He would organise a charity party night during the county championship match to raise money for a good cause – breast cancer mostly.

This particular year, I was unable to attend the cricket on the day of the party, as it clashed with business meetings of such import I can barely bring myself to read the appointments for them in my diary without trembling.

So, I decided to hot-foot it to Uxbridge after my last meeting (in Kings Cross) and arranged for Daisy kindly to collect my weekend gear from the flat and take it to the house.

That way, I could commute to Uxbridge to the party, cab it to Daisy’s after the party, commute to Uxbridge the next day (Day Three, the Friday) and have Daisy join me for the conclusion of play and a lift home.

Simples.

I recall the charity party was a good one that year. I think I might have ended up with some Middlesex memorabilia and a lighter wallet, but that’s the idea of such things I suppose.

I also remember having terrible trouble meeting up with my minicab driver, as the gate I thought would work for my collection was locked and we struggled to work out how I might get out without walking for 10-15 minutes around the ground and adjacent fields. I think we ended up with me jumping the gate, in the style of the escape Daisy and I had made from Laos some years earlier:

When Janie And I Jumped The Border Into Thailand At Chong Mek And Then Blagged Our Way Out Of Thailand Again, 19 and 26 February 2001

But I digress.

The haikus describe Day Three in superb detail – here’s the link again – but just in case you want to know more, here is a link to the Cricnfo scorecard etc.

It seems the real drama was to unfold the next day.

There aren’t many websites upon which the groundsman might report the day’s proceedings in fine style, but MTWD managed to secure the good services of Vic Demain for the Day Four match report – click here for that report. A thumping good read.

Z/Yen Cricket Pairs Tournament, Kensington Memorial Park, 19 July 2010

The 2010 manifestation of Z/Yen cricket was steeped in logistical difficulties, if the extended e-mail correspondence is anything to go by.

Initially we were due to play on 11 July with Children’s Society folk at Bentley, as we had done the previous couple of years…

Ian Harris Invitation XI v Charles Bartlett Invitation XI, Bentley CC, 20 July 2008

But that Sunday idea fell through for lack of willing participants.

We had in any case planned to have a team bonding cricket session on Monday 19 July. We’d originally planned to play in Regent’s Park, but with that location unavailable we arranged for the match to be played at Z/Yen’s spiritual cricketing home, Holland Park. That facility got closed on us at the last minute, so the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea, bless them, switched us to Kensington Memorial Park instead.

I’m not sure that the locals around Kensington Memorial Park had been informed that recreational cricket had been switched from Holland Park for a few weeks. Several of the locals let their unease with cricket be known to us in no uncertain terms during the evening.

But before the evening, there was a great deal of too-ing and fro-ing regarding the nature of the tournament and who might play with whom. In the end, the pairings and rules uploaded here, designed and crafted by Jez Horne, became the tournament.

Despite handling all of constantly moving goalposts regarding the logistics of this event, there’s no evidence that Monique Gore attended that evening, by which I mean there are no photographs from it. Monique’s attendance normally meant photographs.

Back then, if no-one was there with a camera (remember those) then you might not have any photographs to show.

The headline picture depicting Simon McMullen, one of the eventual winners, was taken the previous year.

How do I know that Simon was a winner? Now & Z/Yen tends to record these matters and the result of this event was thus recorded.

If it’s summer that means there must be some sort of Z/Yen cricket match and 2010 was no exception. We decided to play a pairs tournament this year, which made sure that everyone got a go. Indeed, Xenia Mainelli was drafted in as a last minute replacement for
her mother and came a close second – and who are we to judge whether her contribution or that of Louwrens was the key to that
partnership’s success.

Chiara von Gunten, fresh over from Switzerland and experiencing
cricket for the first time managed to take two wickets, which is quite an achievement.

Congratulations to the winners, Jacques Malan & Simon McMullen.

Rumours of match fixing at Z/Yen cricket matches are most certainly untrue, but we can confirm that the 2011 cricket match will be won by Ian Harris in partnership with Linda Cook.

Perceptive readers might have noticed that Simon’s picture was taken at the Lord’s academy, thus demonstrating that practice pays off. Indeed the photo was taken on the day that most of us Z/Yen folk played a practice game at the Lord’s academy, as witnessed by Garry Sobers, no less. Have I ever mentioned that before?

The Day Garfield Sobers Watched Me & Z/Yen Play Cricket, Lord’s, 30 June 2009

A Day Of Neutral Test Cricket At Lord’s, Australia v Pakistan Day Three, With Paul Deacon, Mat & Tim, 15 July 2010

Paul Deacon, taken a few week’s earlier at England v Bangladesh

The Pakistan cricket team had just started their 10+ year sojourn following a terror incident in their homeland. England hosted a couple of neutral tests and I was keen to sample the delights at Lord’s.

To join me that day, Paul Deacon (this was to be his last hurrah of test cricket before he and his family went into self-imposed exile to Canada) along with Mat and Tim from the gym.

This was the second of two farewell treats for Paul, the first being England v Bangladesh a few week’s earlier:

England v Bangladesh Day 2, Lord’s, 28 May 2010

Paul clearly enjoyed himself at the neutral match but did not take (or at least did not post) any photos on the second visit. The headline picture and the one below are from the Bangladesh day.

But Paul did write this:

Hi Ian


just to say another big thank you for a fantastic day at Lord’s.
Thoroughly enjoyed it. A nice tumble of wickets today!

Will fix a time for us + partners to meet up for a meal. Do you like Indian? Chinese? Thai? Or all 3 on one plate even?

Paul

In the end it took us some years to get together family-wise but it was worth the wait when we did:

A Day With The Deacons, Music Exchange & Lord’s, 8 August 2017

If by any chance you want to know what happened in that particular cricket match – here is the scorecard. Day Three had left the match poised.

Z/Yen Nets At Lord’s Followed By Drinks In The Star, 6 July 2010

Ahead of the impending Z/Yen cricket matches that season (which ended up being scaled back to a pairs tournament in Kensington Memorial Park), Steph Rochford was keen to have a go at the Lord’s academy and I was keen to encourage same.

Here is a summary from our extended correspondence a few weeks earlier:

At the moment it looks like you, me, Jez, Ben, Alex and little Si.
Thanks,
Steph

From: Ian Harris
Sent: 07 June 2010 15:57
To: Stephanie Rochford
Subject: RE: Cricket Nets?

Steph

Booked for the 6th – two nets and one coach.

Try not to overextend the numbers – 3 or 4 people in each net is the “sensible maximum” if everyone is going to get a decent go, so 6 to 8 for the two nets.

Don’t forget that you’ll need to sort out protective gear if you are going to have a go at keeping – helmet should be easy in any half-decent sports shop but “abdominal protectors” and the like for women cricketers are probably only available at shops that specialize in cricket quite a bit. Unlike the helmet (which you really do need to try on and make sure is right for you), you could probably get those other bits and pieces on the web. Keepers gloves and keepers pads we have in the Z/Yen kit.

Best

Ian

In the end I think it was about half-a-dozen of us in the nets and jolly good fun it was too. I think Steph might have abandoned her wicket-keeping ambitions quite quickly but I think she did sensibly procure an abdominal guard.

The other thing I remember very clearly about the evening was a gathering of about 10 of us in The Star – a now late lamented pub in St John’s Wood. Four or five Z/Yen people gathered there and were waiting for those of us from the cricketing party who fancied some libations after our net.

Star, St Johns Wood, NW8 (6934060680)

The soccer world cup was going on at the time. Alexandra Flynn, who has some Uruguayan extraction, was “put through the wringer” by Steph with regard to a controversial moment a few day’s earlier. At one point during her monologue, Steph, more or less without pausing for breath, said words to the effect of:

…oh my goodness I’ve just heard myself sounding off about this – I’d better stop right now…

…which came across to me as very self-aware, in a eureka moment sort of way. There was much myrth about that and indeed throughout the evening, which I remember fondly as a very pleasant few hours with the Z/Yen team.

Middlesex Till We Chai, MTWD Match Report, Middlesex v Bangladeshis, 5 July 2010

While thinking through what to do with my old MTWD match reports on Ogblog, I stumbled across this one – I think one of the last (or should I say most recent) reports for MTWD. I thought I’d retroblog it right now.

Here’s a link to the article on MTWD, in all its glory with pictures and everything.

Given SportNetwork’s track record, I have uploaded the text of my MTWD pieces into Ogblog, so if the above “proper” link doesn’t work, you can at least read the text here.

Finally, if you are the sort of person who cannot bear to read a match report without a scorecard, here’s a link to the scorecard.

 

 

 

Middlesex v Australians, Lord’s, 19 June 2010

Looks cold…IS cold!

One of my favourite King Cricket “match reports” this – it is the story of a freezing cold day at Lord’s in mid June with Daisy (Janie) watching Middlesex play a match to help warm up the Australians.

Here is a link to the King Cricket match report.

Just in case anything ever happens to King Cricket, here is a link to the scraped version.

Here is a link to the scorecard and all those geeky details on Cricinfo.

I don’t think we stayed until the end – we went to the National Theatre that evening and I’m pretty sure we went back to the flat first.

Middlesex v Surrey T20 At Lord’s With Z/Yen Team, 17 June 2010

I almost missed out on reporting this one – in my diary with question-marks and the like, but it seems we organised a mini-outing for the very keen to this match.

Looks as though Jez did most of the organising:

I’m just dropping you all a quick line with the arrangements for tomorrow night. Firstly, I may be slightly late as I have to go and get my wedding registered in North London, but as long as they run on time (famous last words), I should be at the gates with plenty of time to spare. As a precaution, I have given all of your tickets to Simon S…

I chimed in with some of the more vital logistical details:

I suspect it might be quite busy on the Tavern Stand side again tonight, so I suggest that all those who arrive in decent time come straight in and help me to hold sufficient good seats…I’ll probably aim for a little closer to Father Time in the Lower Tavern Stand, Jez, for the “Turkey Corner” effect.  It’s the least we can do for brother Ben.

“Brother Ben” is Jez’s younger brother who, perhaps for contrarian reasons, supports Surrey almost as fervently as Jez supports Middlesex. Other guests that night were the two Kiwi Simons (Strez and McMullen), Ben Morris, Heinrich Groenewald and Louwrens Verwey.

The scorecard – click here – suggests that this was not one of Middlesex’s better matches nor one of the better matches from a neutral spectator’s point of view.

I’ll guess that Simon McMullen’s (first left in the picture) favourite memory of visiting Lord’s was the previous year – click here or picture below.

2009 at Lord’s. Simon M, Me, Linda, Jez, Garry Sobers and Nick

Middlesex CCC Mid Season Forum, Lord’s, 14 June 2010

I don’t remember much about this forum. I wasn’t even 100% sure I was there, even though the date is in my diary.

But Barmy Kev’s MTWD report confirms that I was there – click here.

Same report scraped to here.

That report contains everything you need to know…

…and far more besides.

Middlesex v Essex T20 At Lord’s With John White & Family, 13 June 2010

I remembered that we had done the Lord’s T20 thing with John and family a couple of times, but it wasn’t until I found diary/e-mail references to this Sunday afternoon gig that I realised that there were several years between visits.

I had written up the 2007 visit under assumed names for MTWD – see this Ogblog piece for the text of that masterpiece.

I recall that, in many ways, the 2010 outing was more successful. None of the Friday afternoon/evening stress – this was a Sunday afternoon outing in good weather.

I think the girls had genuinely enjoyed the Lord’s visit in 2007 so had been really looking forward to this afternoon visit and they weren’t disappointed.

John was possibly a little disappointed by the result – another “close but no cigar” match for Essex. Here is a link to the scorecard.

I seem to recall the weather smiling on us that first half of June, which made the unseasonable cold snap the following weekend all the more surprising…but that’s another Ogblog story all together – click here for that.