Travel, Theatre, Music, Cricket, Tennis, Writing, Life
When I say that we had our niece Charlie for dinner, I don’t mean that we had Charlie for dinner, obviously…
…according to Janie’s diary we had pork for dinner…
…what I mean is that Charlie came over to our place that evening and we three had dinner together.
It will have been a very pleasant evening and I’m sure the grub was wonderful.
John Random’s rallying cry for this one read as follows:
…the next Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner is to be held on Thursday March 5th at 8 o’ clock at the Cafe Rouge in Clifton Thingamy. Look forward to seeing you all,, and if you haven’t been for a while, please don’t think that means you can’t come along now. Regrettably, Sir Fred Goodwin has had to cry off. Says he’s a bit strapped for cash at the moment.
Don’t ask why, but John also sent the following photo of himself along with the message:
John’s thank you e-mail after the dinner was not very forthcoming about our event itself:
…A big thank you to all those who came out to the I don’t know 23rd Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner. It was a very enjoyable evening. If you couldn’t make it this time, rest assured that you were sorely missed.
Now, to more serious matters. Some of you may have heard about the disgraceful auction of some of our founder’s personal effects. Mike ‘MaHoddma’ Gandhi always eschewed vulgar displays of vulgaressness so the news that his original wire-rimmed spectacles (so humble that they didn’t even have any glass in them) and a pair of his even humbler sandals (the very sandals he wore during his famous March, which was just before his famous April) have come up for sale at Christie’s in New York will send a shiver down many a loyal spine. To us Newsrevue veterans these items are tantamount to sacred relics, and tantamount is next to Paramount, as you well know.
I sent the following, which should be recorded for all posterity:
…I amused (most of) those who were there on Thursday with the Washington Post invitational word “ignoranus”. I attach the list of all of this year’s winners from that competition – several of which are well worth the effort of reading:
Best
Ian
Here are the winners of this year’s Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition :
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright Ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7.Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8.Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (this one got extra credit).
Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s, like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade, v, To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Noel Christopher reported that:
…Wow. I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the new definition of “flatulence”. There’s probably a word for it…
…perhaps “posterity”?
We arranged for a gathering of friends and the three sisters to see in 2009. With Phillie’s health now unquestionably in decline, it was a fine balance between ambition and pragmatism. But the big points were that Phillie wanted to dance and she wanted that close set of friends and family with her.
So we planned to take a big table at a public gathering in that hotel in Ealing currently (2016) known as the DoubleTree Hilton – I can’t remember what it was called at that time – Janie thinks it might have been a Ramada back then. You know the one; on the junction of the Uxbridge Road and Hanger Lane. Not normally our sort of thing, but the ability for the out-of-towners to simply retreat to their room without the need for transport/going out of doors was a big plus.
These five must have been a terrifying quintet at school
Considering the quality of photographers present (not least Anthea Simms and Mitchell Sams) the overall quality of the photo set is less than special…
…with a handful of notable exceptions….
This proves that the photo pros were mostly busy enjoying themselves rather than taking snaps, which is a good thing.
It was a remarkable evening, not least because Phillie had been so poorly in the run-up to the evening, we thought even the day before that she might need to be in hospital over the new year festivities. In the end, Phillie had a great time and danced almost all evening. We did not get any pictures of the dancing, although dancing we all, not just Phillie, certainly did.
Indeed, we all had a great time. Even me, despite evidence to the contrary in the following picture!
13 December 2008 Hil & Chris
This will have been a Christmas presents visit with Janie cooking dinner for all of us. The details of the menu are not recorded in Janie’s diary, but we do know that Janie & I took a cab after dinner and stayed at my flat, letting Hil and Chris have Sandall Close for the night while we went back to Sandall Close via the tennis court in the morning.
21 December 2008 Charlie
Charlie visited her grandma and then came over to Sandall Close for dinner and to stay the night. The menu is not recorded again, but the words “Champagne in fridge” do appear in Janie’s diary. Priorities.
25 December 2008 Christmas Lunch In Battersea
With Dad and Len now gone, we felt that the gathering at Janie’s place would no longer be appropriate. We ended up booking a restaurant in Battersea – I cannot remember its name or how we came across it, but it seemed keenly priced for Christmas Day and suitably located twixt North-West and South-West London.
I recall our Addison Lee driver really struggling to find Battersea High Street and getting very stressy with us. I recall the place being pretty darned good for the price, in terms of food, drink and ambience. I’m pretty sure it was just me, Janie, Hils, Jacquie and Mum that year. Janie thinks Michael and Dorothy joined us, but I think their first appearance for a Christmas Day do was the following year.
I think mum picked up the tab for all five of us – hence me not having a record of the name of the place.
31 December 2008 – New Years Eve Gathering At The Ramada
Phillie really hadn’t been at all well that autumn and there was real doubt as to whether she should or would attend this event. But we had arranged it with her in mind – she wanted to dance – so we took a large table at a communal New Years Eve dinner and dance at the Ramada Ealing (the DoubleTree by Hilton at the time of writing, January 2019).
Wouldn’t have been our choice independently but, hey, it was what Phillie wanted and everyone at that time thought this might be her last hoorah. In the end, Phillie needed to have herself put together with sellotape and promise the doctor that she wouldn’t not to dance too much to get permission to attend.
We think the attendees were Max, Micky, Kim, Anthea, Mitchell, Hil, Chris, Tony, Phillie, Charlie (I think), Janie and me.
Phillie, in her inimitable style, complied with “doctors orders” by dancing all the rest of us off the dance floor – I’m talking non stop dancing for hours. Kim and Janie’s thoughts on the matter are captured photographically below:
14 August 2008
We crossed the river and played at Hampton Wick (Maz’s new place) for the first time. Some business on the e-mail about Andrea driving and co-ordinating pick-ups around North-West/West London.
My thank you note to Maz was not too revealing – it read:
Many thanks for a most enjoyable evening last night. Excellent meal and, as always, good company. Nice to see your new home, too, which I thought was very you; you seem very happy there. Shame we didn’t get the cards but you can’t have everything I suppose.
Looking forward to the next one.
20 November 2008
The next one turned out to be at Barmy Kev’s place. I supplied the card table and accoutrements, so must have driven there. Kev’s mother-in-law Mabel was in situ, as Kev’s set up e-mail revealed:
Ironically Olivia’s mum still with us, will be for a year now, don’t ask, but will find a way round this and no rowdy behaviour after 11pm.
Ged , if you can supply table cards , scoreboards etc, this will help.
Subsequently, by which I mean some 10 years later, Kevin and Mabel achieved more than 15 minutes of fame when a video about Kevin and Mabel’s use of a “Magic Table” to help people with dementia went viral – some 3 to 4 Million views at the time of writing (January 2019):
But back then, it was simply bridge with dinner en famille.
I can’t find any post match analysis (by which I mean bridge match, not magic table match) on the e-mail trails, so perhaps we didn’t get much in the way of magic bridge hands on the table that night. I do recall a very enjoyable evening, though and the e-mail wires were certainly busy trying to set up the next one for the January.
Lots of Worm activity (i.e. Janie’s “Wormleighton” family and friends) during August 2008 if my diary is to be believed, but no photographic evidence. For more detail on some of these activities, we might need to ransack the attic and retrieve Janie’s diaries.
Saturday 2 August – Phillie.
My diary also has “Anth” crossed out, so I think the original idea was for Anthea and Mitchell to visit when Phillie was with us, but I think they came the following week and Phillie alone stayed with us at the maisonette and had dinner. Tony was away on business if I recall correctly/
Monday 4 August – Middlesex v Somerset floodlit.
I took Paul (Belmonte) that evening and gave him the pavilion experience for some of the game and also I recall watching a fair bit from the Upper Edrich Stand. I think this was only the second floodlit game at Lord’s; at least only my second experience of it. Here is a link to the scorecard.
Saturday 9 August – Anth
Not sure what we did but quite possibly Anthea and Mitchell came over for dinner. I think my diary would have more detail if it had been a bigger adventure than that.
Sunday 24 August – Worms
The Monday was a bank holiday of course. This will almost certainly be Hil and Chris; I think we might have all have gathered at their place in Bristol – i.e. including Phillie, Tony and Charlie. I think this was the year that Janie and I went down just for the day – a late lunch barbecue – then drove home. Quite a success I seem to recall.
Correction/update: It is clear from Janie’s diary that she and I stayed at the Hotel Du Vin in Bristol that time – possibly our first stay in that place. We stayed in Berringer and at that time they parked us at the hotel. Still a success though, as described.
After the wonderful yet strange evening in Uxbridge 24 June, a quieter couple of weeks before the next excitement.
25 June
There was an England v New Zealand ODI at the Oval, which I didn’t attend but I was able to catch the end of it on the TV after work. The scorecard – click here – reveals how close the game was but does not reveal the controversy over Collingwood’s captaincy after he insisted, against the advice of the umpires, on progressing a run out appeal in unusual circumstances, against Grant Elliot – the Kiwis went on to win the match anyway. The Sussex v Middlesex match that evening seemed tame by way of comparison; I’m pretty sure I listened to most of it:
27 & 28 June
The last T20 group match was at the Oval against Surrey. I know I missed it completely, because Daisy and I were taken out for dinner by Jamil and Souad – I’m pretty sure we went to Noura in Belgravia, but Daisy’s diary should confirm or deny when we get around to checking – see “A Couple of nights out”.
27 & 28 June
A yes, we indeed had a couple of nights out:
4 July
Following a working week that looked quite light on meetings and evening engagements, but did include another Z/Yen Boat Trip on the Wednesday, on the Friday, I took a day out at Uxbridge. Middlesex were hosting the visiting South Africans in a warm-up match.
I wrote quite a lengthy report for MTWD on that day – click here.
Here is the scorecard from that tour match.
6 July
A relatively quiet weekend culminating in a lunch out with my mum at Gastro in Clapham. I had not seen this Jay Rayner review – click here – when I booked it.
It seems to divide opinion on TripAdvisor too – click here.
Actually, Janie and I rather liked the place, but I do recall that the Sunday menu was not quite as advertised and in any case the dishes on offer were of an kind unfamiliar to mum, who got a bit shirty about it all.
I’m not too sure how the matter got resolved but I seem to recall the lunch event being salvaged somehow, I think through some good staff making appropriate amounts of fuss around mum and looking after her nicely. Or did we move on to another place to get that fuss? Janie might remember.
I do recall resolving not to book such a place again for mum – the familiar “old-fashioned Italian or French bistro” places she’d been to before being the best bet for her now. Oh well.
Friday 27 June – Jamil & Souad
On the Friday we had dinner with Jamil & Souad. Both of our diaries are silent on the details of where we went, but I’m pretty sure they wanted to treat Janie for her birthday so my guess is that we went to one of the well posh Lebanese restaurants they favoured at that time – i.e. probably Noura in either Curzon Street or Hobart Place.
Those two are always jolly company and would have been extremely hospitable.
Saturday 28 June – Kim, Micky, Anthea and Mitchell
Again both diaries are well light on detail. There were thoughts of another Sandall Close party for that evening, but I think the combination of Charlie’s graduation the day before and Phillie’s poor health meant that idea was shelved. There is a half plan for Hil & Chris to come down in Janie’s book, but I think that was when we thought we might have a party. Janie notes in different coloured ink, which looks over-riding:
Annies…+ Kim, + Anthea…
…followed by cab bookings.
Annies will have been the Strand On The Green branch (I don’t think Ive been to the Barnes branch) and I must admit that neither Janie nor I remember much about this particular evening. It will have been enjoyable and I do recall liking the food and ambience in Annies.
I think that evening replaced one planned for a couple of week’s earlier (14 June), when we were hoping to see DJ too.
A few late May evenings with little to report.
Thursday 22 May 2008: Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner
This was at “Rogues” in Maida Vale, as was the norm in those days. John Random did the shout out and only provided limited feedback afterwards:
A big thank you to all of you who turfed yourselves out for the Ivan Shakespeare Memorial Dinner despite the cyclone, earthquake, Crewe and Nantwich Bye-Election and anything else that might have put off lesser mortals. To those of you who didn’t make it, you were much missed. Till the next time…
It will have been fun.
Tuesday 27 May 2008: Net At Lord’s
The e-mail trail tells me that this was Chas, Adam, Mat and me. Here’s my shout out/reminder:
Just a note to remind you all that we are netting this evening.
The “Flynn” reference is to a Kiwi player named Daniel Flynn who was not spared the need for dental work by his helmet – see video below:
See you at HQ Indoor School in whites just before 18:00.
Adam – FYI – I’ve bought and am bringing my helmet after our last net together! Although, having seen Mr Flynn on Friday, I’m not sure I’ll be trying to hook the head-high stuff anyway!!
Best
Ian
I think that net was my first go with a helmet. I had decided to wear one from that 2008 season on, after a couple of near misses the previous season – at least one of which was at the hands of Adam, albeit in outdoor nets. Chas commented afterwards:
Great being at Lords last night, but am I the only one suffering from multitude of aches and pains from the cricket net?…
…The helmet was ‘interesting’ although I did notice others wearing them as well.
Thursday 29 May: Bridge At Andrea’s Place
The four was again Andrea, Barmy Kev, Maz and me. Pre bridge e-mail chat between me and Barmy Kev revolved around Kev being available early and wanting to meet for a pre match drink, whereas I was a mixture of unwilling and unable to do that. My final word on what seemed to have been quite a stressy day:
I need to clear some work before coming out this evening so won’t be around until 20:00 as expected.
Also expect to drive, as could do with a detox and will be pushed for time.
Afterwards, my e-mail to Andrea:
Just a note to thank you very much for your hospitality on Thursday. Super meal and good bridge too. Is Kev still there? Looking forward to seeing you at the next one.
Andrea’s e-mail back to me:
V funny! Kev obviously likes it here as he turned up early and stayed about 20 mins after you lot left. See you at the next one – and don’t forget to get your visa.
The reference to a visa must mean that Maz had just moved South of the river and that we were going to play at her new place next.
Despite the fact that Andrea and I are both “propa sarf” people…”deep sarf” in Andrea’s case (Sutton), by 2008, after so many years north of the river, we needed metaphorical visas when venturing sarf.
This was a bit of an unusual week away for us. Kim had been persistently asking us to join her and friends in St Tropez for her birthday for a few years. We’d insisted that we didn’t think that St Tropez would be “our thing”. She wondered how we could judge such a thing without giving it a try.
So, our cunning plan to please everyone including ourselves was to arrange a fly-drive week in the South of France, initially doing our own thing for a few days…
and then joining up with Kim, Micky and others in “San-trop”.
Auntie Janet at Ultimate Travel helped us to construct our itinerary but I cannot find any papers from her, only this quote from her e-mail/invoice:
French Expressions holidays including flights;
Automatic car hire throughout and three nights accommodation
in a Junior Suite at L’Auberge du Chateau de Berne on a bed
and breakfast basis
So, in brief, we flew to Nice and picked up a car for our week in France. We stayed three nights at the delightful Chateau de Berne Hotel and Spa.
We did a bit of touring…
…together with a lot of resting, wining and dining; three nights there. Lovely sun deck for reading; great to try their wines and we even played some ping pong (Daisy’s favourite, because she normally wins).
Then on to St Tropez for four nights at the Tahiti Beach Hotel…
…where Kim and Micky regularly stay. We arrived the day before the others, so played tennis and then ate at a Vietnamese restaurant named Bahn Hoi, recommended by Anthea. Very nice but also very pricey. That’s St Tropez for you.
Next day we have an early morning snoop around the market…
…then finally meet up with Kim and Micky for lunch at Tahiti that day.
We worked off the lunch on the tennis court. Dinner that evening is at Villa Romana, with Robert, Fiza and their son/girlfriend too. A very fashionable place but it is heaving and displeases me; food ordinary apart from the price:
Next day, we played tennis in the morning. Indeed, we played tennis at Tahiti on the tennis court there a few times. Not the best surface we have ever played on, but far from the worst. As our short stay went on, we found it harder and harder to play tennis for an hour; a cautionary tale for all of us.
Same gang as last night for lunch at Tahiti; then after siesta an evening at a St Tropez nightclub, Stefano Forever.
I was dreading this one but actually it was more fun. As it was pre-season, the show was a tryout and we were the only guests, so we got to have a lot of fun as audience participation could only be us…
…and we were the only possible invitees to the after show party…
…Janie even tried her hand at pole dancing…of sorts…
…she got a wee bit better at it remarkably quickly when she actually took up pole dancing some 10 years later:
…but I digress.
The final day was Kim’s actual birthday. Despite the excesses of the night before, lunch between the four of us (the Robert Anthony family, perhaps knowing the score, made themselves scarce that lunchtime) was a boozy and celebratory affair:
Indeed, after siesta Janie swore that she couldn’t make it to the arranged dinner for six of us (son and girlfriend were gone by now) at L’Auberge de Maures, but then changed her mind. In this photo, I look almost as rough as I felt.
In truth, our view that this sort of eating and drinking extravaganza is not really our thing was reinforced by this trip, but we made Kim happy for her birthday that year and at least we can now say we’ve tried it.
Lots more photos, including those above, in this Flickr album, but surely more for the cognoscenti (i.e. those who were there) than for general consumption. I probably can construct a few good tales from the trusty journal once I get around to it; for now here is the indecipherable scribblings: Provence and St Tropez April 2008 Journal Notes.
