Royal Swallow Hotel – Now Marriot Royal Picture by Elisa.rolle, CC BY-SA 4.0
The biggest mystery in this pack is the 5 December 1997 9:00 p.m. “Tropicana Restaurant with Bobbie & Roger”. Neither Janie nor I can remember Bobbie being with someone named Roger, nor can we remember a Tropicana Restaurant.
Not only that, but we checked in to the Royal Swallow in Bristol at 13:00 the next day, both having massages at 14:00 if Janie’s diary is to be believed…which it is. If I recall correctly, that was a treat to selves after a very busy time, which turned out to be a rather ordinary massage experience, a treat that we did not repeat at that place.
We’d have dined at Hilary & Chris’s place and exchanged Crimble presents, like you do…or rather like we did.
Chinese meal with Hussein and Saji (neighbours in Sandall Close) was, if I remember correctly, mostly me showing off my Chinese cooking skills after they had both admitted to knowing little about such cuisine the previous time we had dinner with them. I do vaguely remember that.
I remember this day very clearly, although I am sure there are many details the others can add. It would be super if John and Jenny were to chime in with their recollections.
Janie and I had planned to take public transport to the north side of the embankment on the Isle of Dogs and walk the Greenwich Foot Tunnel – I think it had recently reopened after refurbishment back then.
But while we were preparing to go out, the phone rang. It was my mum. My mum never used to ring on a Sunday morning – she would almost always wait for me to ring her.
Mum sounded distressed.
“It’s so awful, a tragedy,” mum said, through tears of anguish.
I thought something must have happened to my dad or some other close relative/friend.
“What’s happened, Mum?”, I asked. “Try to gather yourself and speak slowly.”
“What do you mean, ‘what’s happened’? You must know what’s happened. I know you don’t care much for the royal family…”
“…Mum, we’re going out shortly, we haven’t seen the papers or switched on the TV or radio this morning; just tell me what’s happened.”
We set off for Greenwich much later than we’d intended – so the idea of using public transport and a stroll through the Greenwich Foot Tunnel went out of the window.
Plan B was to revert to the Janie norm – we got into the car and drove to Greenwich. By the time we found somewhere to park (we hadn’t thought about that bit)…eventually finding a place near the market but some way from the Trafalgar…then walked from the parking place to the Trafalgar…we were quite late.
John and Jenny were neither fazed nor surprised that we were a bit late in the circumstances.
I remember John and I bemoaning the fact that a rich seam of our topical comedy for NewsRevue had died in that car crash along with the victims of the tragedy. We also had one of those, “when, if ever, will we be able to make Princess Diana jokes again?” conversations.
We had a very good lunch and talked about much else besides the day’s news.
I recall the four of us having a bit of a stroll after lunch.
After we parted company with John and Jenny, Janie and I wandered around Greenwich market for a while, as the car was parked near there and we were in no rush to get home.
I remember buying a dozen or so CDs that afternoon, more or less doubling the size of my CD collection. I had only bought a CD player for the first time a year or so earlier. Being a reel-to-reel and records dude, I was wicked-late to CDs. I bought mostly sixties compilations that day, plus a few iconic albums; Pet Sounds (Beach Boys), Gift From A Flower To A Garden (Donovan) and The Harder They Come (Jimmy Cliff and others) to name but three.
No pictures from the day that Princess Diana died, but here is one from the 1977 set. I couldn’t possibly have imagined what I’d be up to 20 years later, let alone 40 years later, when the following picture was taken.
Time Traveller. Me at the Greenwich meridian line 31 August 1977
I went to NewsRevue so often in the 1990s, I’d rarely even note it in my diary.
Thursday night was “writers meeting and see NewsRevue night” most weeks.
But on this particular week things must have been different, as John Random has recently (July 2017) sent me a note from his own diary, as follows:
IT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY – SORT OF
Friday August 1st. Newsrevue. Especially good was Ivan’s Alice in LabourLand and Ian Harris’s Me and Paula Jones about Clinton’s sexual harassment case. Ian and Janie were there, as were Barry and Ali Robertson
John is such a nice chap, his note doesn’t actually ask me to upload the lyric so he can read it.
But I’m a nice chap too and I realise that a revisit to the lyric will please John, me and perhaps other Ogblog readers too, so “up it goes”…as Bill Clinton no doubt frequently used to put it.
After taking The Duchess to see Carmen at the ENO on the Thursday evening, Janie and I both worked full days on the Friday (Janie starting crack of dawn) ending up in New Orleans (in Ealing, not Louisiana) for a late supper on Friday night…
…then tennis at 10:00 on Saturday (not much change there in 25 years except the location) blah blah.
But then we relaxed for an evening at La Porte Des Indes on the junction of Old Quebec Street & Bryanston Street – recently (25 years on) departed but a relatively new restaurant then.
Below is Helen Fielding’s review from when it opened the previous year:
Janie had known Laurie & (especially) Dot Johnson for a great many years – the latter being one of Janie’s clients.
Laurie was very well known in show business and media circles, primarily for writing TV theme tunes such as the following, which Janie and I both remembered fondly from our childhoods:
In 1997, it seems that Laurie, in an attempt to stave off dotage, was launching an autumnal recording and touring career with a new combo; Laurie Johnson’s London Big Band.
Dot kindly invited us to the 8 June concert and the star-studded after show party.
We were among the youngest people in the audience that night. Actually, I think our combined ages at that time (75-ish) might still have made us among the youngest people at the show that night.
Janie and I, seated among the guest celebs in that central block of seats deemed the best in the Barbican Hall, enjoyed watching the bobbing heads of the elderly concert-goers in front of us, making micro-movements in recognition of the swinging beat of the music.
Indeed, for years…nay decades after the concert, Janie and I would mimic the uber-syncopation, not least the cymbal beats, of the Big Band’s rendition of the This Is Your Life Theme:
That one seemed to go down especially well with the elderly bobbing-head brigade.
The after show party was very enjoyable. I guess that we technically met a great many celebs: Laurie Johnson, Ron Moody, Jack Parnell, Don Lusher, Kenny Baker, Benny Green and Tommy Whittle were all on the bill…
…as was a lovely young woman named Alexia, who was a singing waitress at a restaurant that Laurie and Dot liked. They had taken Alexia somewhat under their wings and were promoting her through this show/tour.
We didn’t meet John Dankworth & Cleo Laine that evening, much to Dot’s chagrin, as she seemed very keen for Janie to meet them, but for some reason (health we think) they were unable to attend. Nor was Lionel Bart there, possibly for the same sort of reason.
I do however remember chatting at length with Herbert Kretzmer, who was a good friend of the Johnsons and was very interesting company for quite a while at that function. Fellow lyricists and all that – me and Herbie had a great deal in common. 😉
Go on, bob your head gently to the swinging strains of the This Is Your Life theme again – you know you want to:
…the sort of fortnight that looks, twenty-five years later, like an utterly mad way to over-fill one’s diary and hare around the country like a mad thing.
A tour for Barnardo’s. with whom I was working quite a lot back then, took in Yorkshire, Wales and Barkingside in the space of a few days, interrupted only for some meetings with other clients and a foreshortened weekend which included dinner with Janie’s lovely neighbours, Hussein and Saji on the Saturday.
I guess the frantic aspect of the work was somewhat self-inflicted, as I had arranged a proper long weekend in Stratford only a couple of weeks after returning from a three-week holiday.
Our main purpose in Stratford was to take in a couple of plays, which I shall write up individually and separately. On this slightly extended visit I do recall also having the time to have a proper good wander around the town and take in some of the touristic sites we wouldn’t normally find time to see when visiting Stratford for the theatre.
Was I welcome in these places or was I Bard?
We stayed on until Tuesday 22 April and went to a Seder (perhaps at Jacquie’s, perhaps at Mum & Dad’s) the evening of our return.
18 January 1997: John Random (Burns) & Jenny Mill At Sandall Close
I think this was the first time we had dinner with those two. Janie dutifully wrote in her diary “fish only, no meat” so my guess is that we did indeed eat fish.
Who would have thought that, inadvertently, we’d see those two for a meal almost exactly 25 years later, but we did indeed go to their place in Bromley for a super meal on Sunday 16 January 2022.
24 January 1997: Bridge At Maz’s Place
I’m guessing here, but the four would probably have been Maz (obvs), me (also obvs), Andrea and Tessa at that time.
I think Maz was living in Becklow Road, Acton by then.
The eating and drinking will have been as central to the evening as the bridge, if not more so.
25 January 1997: Dinner At Stuart & Cathy’s Place
Stuart Kent (“Little Mick” Kent, my dad’s cousin’s son) and his partner Cathy Andrews.
They lived in Muswell Hill in a rather eccentric-looking penthouse apartment designed in an uber-1970s garish style, which they had inherited from the previous owner – an unusual look they clearly liked & had enhanced.
On the Tuesday, Janie and I went to Viv’s place in Golders Green for the evening. I think it was a sort-of seasonal party, mostly of the foodie variety.
Thursday 19 December – Z/Yen Christmas Bash At Le Muscadet
Thursday evening was the Z/Yen Christmas do – a relatively small scale affair that year, at Le Muscadet in Paddington Street, a restaurant now long gone. I recall Michael and I had used that place a few times for “corporate entertaining” in those early days of Z/Yen, so we thought it would be a sensible venue for our small but sweet team to gather.
I’m pretty sure that the group comprised Kevin & Kate Parker, Teresa Bestard Perello, Mike & Marianna Smith, Michael & Elisabeth, Me and Janie. Perhaps one or two other associates. 10 or 12 of us at the most.
It was a very good meal – it always was at le Muscadet. I recall one earlier occasion when Michael and I took some visiting Australian former colleagues/prospective clients there and they waxed lyrical about the place.
Not sure what, if anything, we did in terms of a seasonal song that 1996 Christmas – I cannot find anything in my dated files for it. It might have been one of Michael’s efforts, but I have a feeling we didn’t do one that year as we were simply a table in an open restaurant and didn’t have the guts to sing in that circumstance. I think we resolved to try and book a private area in future, when possible.
Saturday 21 December, Kim & Micky’s Place
An early in the season visit to Kim & Micky’s that year – I’m guessing they went away for Christmas itself. There will have been excellent food and wine. Probably quite a few people – perhaps even as many as the Z/Yen team do.
But the celebrations continued for a further day, for those who chose to stay on a little longer. There were quite a few of us who did so. Unfortunately, 25 years on, my brain does not retain the full contingent for the Sunday celebrations. I might be confusing some of the people who were around for the early days with those who stayed the distance.
But I think that most of the American contingent – Michael’s family, Emma & Betsy, Tony Dillof & others – I think at least one if not two of the Amandas, Chris Webb, Chris the Bridesmaid, The Sealeys, The Nelsons, The Pooles, Rupert Stubbs & Sophie, at least one Lucas-Clements, Elisabeth’s family naturally enough…
Sunday 19 May 1996 – The Hooch Cellar & The Informal Party
We spent some time in the Reuss family village of Pfersdorf itself on the Sunday.
I especially remember the guided tour taking us to the home of an elder of the village named Connie, who had an informal distillery in his cellar.
Connie’s hooch cellar might have looked a bit like this
Janie showed a great deal of interest in seeing this cellar, so, in the great tradition of Franconian village hospitality, she was shown through the door that led to the cellar steps in an “after you” manner, at which point Connie closed and locked the door, to the mirth of the assembled villagers and visitors.
Janie shouted out a couple of times, but once she realised she’d been duped, went quiet.
The locals informed us that the traditional ending to this practical joke was for the duped person to seek release from the cellar again a few minutes later, once in a state of inebriation, as there is lots of hooch to be had in there and not much else to do.
All eyes and ears were on the door, until Janie tapped someone on the shoulder and asked who they were looking and listening out for in the cellar. A well known escapologist (at least, she is now), Janie had spotted a window in the cellar and worked out how to climb up to the window, out through it (not very high on the ground level side) and walk around the corner to find us.
The assembled villagers and visitors thought this was all very funny.
Janie knows how to get out of a hooch pickle
Despite going light on the hooch, we remember little about the Sunday evening party, other than the fact that we had a great time. The best parties are like that. Others might be able to fill in the considerable gaps in this account.
I had made three mix tapes for the wedding, I believe with this party in mind:
I don’t even remember the extent to which the tapes were used that night, but I think they featured.
A Fraught Journey Home, Originally Aiming To Catch The Wrong Flight, Monday 20 May 1996
Chatting with the remaining guests on the Sunday, it seemed sensible for everyone, on the Monday, to enjoy a leisurely breakfast at the Hotel Ross in Schweinfurt and amble together to the railway station to catch the train that would whisk us with Germanic efficiency to Frankfurt airport in good time for our BA flight in the afternoon.
Then, while Janie and I were grazing at our breakfast, it started to dawn upon me that we hadn’t flown out BA, we had flown out Lufthansa. It also started to dawn on me that we were probably booked on an earlier flight than the others.
I went to check our tickets. To my horror, I realised that we were flying out of Frankfurt more than an hour earlier than everyone else. We certainly wouldn’t catch our flight if we travelled by train with the rest.
Some frantic checking of train times made me realise that I had actually goofed good and proper – we should have caught a train that we had already missed. There was another train between ours and the BA mob’s train, but it would get us to the airport only 20 minutes or so ahead of our flight.
I phoned the airport to warn them that we would be a late arrival for our flight.
The German gentleman I spoke with at the airport explained politely but firmly that we needed to get to the airport sooner than that.
I explained that we had missed our train and that the train we were catching would, in all probability, get us to the airport just 20 minutes before the flight. I asked the gentleman to inform the desk for our flight that we would be arriving late.
No. You must get to the airport earlier than that.
The conversation was over.
Janie and I agreed that we should catch the first available train anyway and hope for the best.
We had to change train, a couple of times I think, on this hair-raising trip.
Everything ran incredibly smoothly and the train arrived at Frankfurt Airport’s railway station exactly 20 minutes before our flight.
We legged it towards our check in desk.
Perhaps my “friend” from the telephone call had informed the desk that some mad Brits were going to attempt a ludicrously late check in. Perhaps Lufthansa check-in desks, in those days, simply switched into hyper-efficient “we’ll try to get you through the system” machines. This is all pre-9-11 of course, so the security was not quite such a big thing.
We heard the announcements for passengers to proceed to the gate for our flight around the time that we started checking in.
Anyway, the Lufthansa folk whisked us through the airport system and we arrived at the gate, dry-mouthed and out of breath just in time to hear a “bing-bong” and an announcement in German.
My poor German was just about good enough to make out that the announcement was a delay to the flight. Then in English, that fact was confirmed.
There’s lucky, said Janie.
Not at all, I said, we made it for the flight on time. Now I’m really irritated that we’re delayed.
In truth, the 40 minutes to calm down and decompress before the flight probably did us some good.
Dancing feet, preparing for a fraught run through Frankfurt Airport
Ever since that near miss, I tend to double check our flight tickets/times a little obsessively. It was a peculiar ending to an unusual, celebratory week.
I made three mixtapes for Michael & Elisabeth Mainelli’s wedding, which were used at the informal party on the Sunday after the formal wedding. I kept track listings (dated 12 May 1996) and can therefore recreate the experience, 25 years later, mostly in embedded YouTube form. Occasionally such embeds get moved, removed or delisted, but you should be able to hear most if not all of them.
Here’s Tape Three, which I called “The Cynical Wedding Tape”. Side A continued the theme of a dance party mix from Tape Two, but all the tracks have an element of cynicism towards romance. Side B was intended to be an “after the main party” cynical selection, which I named “Sit Around & Think About It”.
A couple of the tracks on this tape have not yet found their way to YouTube in a suitable form (e.g. Ben Murphy’s recording of my own lyric, The Ultimate Love Song). I have uploaded MP3s of those tracks, so you can still hear them…if you dare.
Cynical Wedding Tape Side A: Dance Que Pasa / Me No Pop I, Kid Creole & the Coconuts Don’t Leave Me This Way, Thelma Houston Money, Flying Lizards I Heard It Through The Grapevine, Gladys Knight & the Pips Just Don’t Want To Be Lonely, Main Ingredient Why Do Fools Fall In Love?, Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers Thin Line Between Love and Hate, Persuaders I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor Mistra Know It All, Stevie Wonder She’s Gone, Hall & Oats One Day I’ll Fly Away, Randy Crawford Will You Love Me Tomorrow?, Shirelles
Cynical Wedding Tape Side B: Sit Around & Think About It The First Cut is the Deepest, PP Arnold Falling In Love Again, Temperance Seven Don’t Get Married, Roy Bailey & Leon Rosselson Ever Fallen In Love With Someone…, Buzzcocks Freebird, Lynard Skynard It’s All Over Now Baby Blue, Manfred Mann’s Earth Band I Used To Love Her But It’s All Over Now, Rolling Stones Born To Shop, Guns ‘n’ Charoses Single In Spring, Roy Bailey & Leon Rosselson Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, Neil Sedaka The Ultimate Love Song, Ben Murphy
