Category: School Life

A Truly Thrice Awful Day In My School/Sporting Life, 18 June 1975

The summer of 1975 was my sporting annus mirabilis at Alleyn’s School. This was the summer in which I considered winning a tournament quarter-final to be an uneventful day

An Uneventful Day Playing Fives, 9 June 1975

This was the summer in which I took a hat trick at cricket; at the culmination of a league-winning tournament in which my class, 2AK won all but one of the league matches:

The Day I Took A Hat Trick At Cricket, Alleyn’s School, 9 July 1975

But when you are as sporadic at sport as I am, no amount of enthusiasm nor occasional high achievement is going to protect you from the bad days.

18 June 1975 seems to have been such a day. And not just for me.

Just in case any readers are as sporadic at reading finely crafted handwriting as I am at sport, let me transcribe that 18 June diary entry for you.

We lost in cricket league. Boo hoo. Some hot revision. Had to catch 37 train home. Out of fives competition. TV Ascent of Man, Only On Sunday. England out of Prudential Cup.

That loss in the cricket league will have really hurt at the time. I have all of the scores neatly recorded in the back of my diary (I’ll write up the tournament at some point) so can confirm that we lost that game to 2BM by three runs (90 played 93). They were the other form team in the league – we had beaten them once before in our run of six wins at the start of the tournament. A seventh win on 18 June would have confirmed the tournament for us, but that loss kept our main rivals in the race – we were to face them once more a couple of weeks later.

It appears that I not only had to vice-skipper the cricket team that day but I also had to play my fives tournament semi-final. I dont record who my fives nemesis was that day, but I have a feeling, thanks to John Eltham’s extraordinary memory for our school’s sporting legends, that it was Neil Hodson.

The 18 June 1975 diary entry, I must say, is extraordinarily bleak, even in its brevity. “Some hot revision”, I sense, was my juvenile attempt to record that sense of being hot and bothered all day at Alleyn’s. Clearly even my preferred route home from school on that day of sporting disaster was confounded.

Then, to cap it all, “England out of the Prudential Cup”, that first cricket world cup that I had been following avidly since the very first day of the tournament.

A Tale Of Two Cartoons And An Historic Yet Cartoonish Cricket Match, 7 June 1975

And let’s be honest about it. England hadn’t just been knocked out. England had been soundly thrashed by Australia of all teams. Soundly thrashed – click here to see the scorecard.

England’s nemesis that day – a left arm swing bowler named Gary Gilmour. 1975 was to be his annus mirabilis too. But Gilmour’s sporting heights were mirabilis electi while mine were mirabilis ordinarius.

The Ascent Of Man was clearly compulsory television viewing in our household that summer and quite right too. But what was Only On Sunday? I had to delve deep for this one, but Only On Sunday turns out to have been a comedy pilot for a sitcom set in the world of village cricket. I don’t suppose that screening the pilot on the day England were thrashed out of the cup did much for its chances, despite the top notch writing team and cast. Others cashed in years later with a similar idea, Outside Edge.

I wrote the words “boo hoo”, cynically I suspect, but I wonder whether or not the 12-year-old me really did cry at some point during that day or evening. I must admit that, writing this up now, aged 56, I welled up a little imagining my much younger self going through and then reflecting on that awful sporting day.

For The Completists Amongst You…

Here is my transcription of that diary page:

Sunday, 15 June 1975 – took second half of exam. All over! Dined up films. John player – Derby V Essex, film panicking streets.

Monday 16 June 1975 school under 13s. We won by seven wickets. TV Star Trek, likely lads, Waltons, weekend, Horizon.

17 June 1975 – bar mitzvah class. Then came home lots of revision. TV add the seventh crown hooray.

Wednesday, 18 June 1975 – we lost in cricket league boo-hoo some hot revision had to catch 37 train home. Out of five competition. TV ascent of man, only on a Sunday, England out of potential cup.

Thursday, 19 June 1975 didn’t go to classes. Still sweltering. TV Dad’s Army, Jacques Cousteau, All in the Family.

Friday, 20 June 1975 – uneventful day. Still sweating. TV It’s a Knockout v good, more swatting.

Saturday, 21 June 1975 – West Indies won Prudential Cup…Still swatting.

I wrote up the Saturday some while ago:

The Very First Cricket World Cup Final, Australia v West Indies, 21 June 1975

Fives, Cricket, Exams And Telly; The Second Week Of June 1975

The handwriting was pretty wonky:

Sunday, 8 June 1975 – took first part of senior exam. Not too bad. Another sweltering day like the last two. Had a good time in garden. TV Doctor On The Go.

Monday, 9 June 1975 – uneventful day. Beat Eltham 11-5, 11-5 in quarter-finals. TV Star Trek, Likely Lads, Waltons, Rutland Weekend Television.

I wrote up 9 June 1975 some years ago:

An Uneventful Day Playing Fives, 9 June 1975

Tuesday, 10 June 1975– got to classes late because the bus. TV Edward VII.

Wednesday 11 June 1975 – we won cricket. I scored 7 and gave 5. TV Ascent of Man, Spike Milligan.

Thursday, 12 June 1975 – classes good – last one ever [i.e. last midweek Hebrew classes ever, not all types of class…obvs.] . TV Cousteau, All of the Family.

Friday 13 June 1975 – PE, cricket. TV Walt Disney, It’s a Knockout, 10 from 20s.

Saturday 14 June 1975 – scored under 13s, us 136 for one declared, [Wayne] Manhood 55 not out, [Perry] Harley 58, and them 96 all out – [Paddy/Sean] McGlone 4 wickets and a catch

My faint memory of scoring for the under 13s was pretty much solely of Wayne Manhood & Perry Harley batting. That 14 June 1975 report at least part explains why.

An Uneventful Day Playing Fives, 9 June 1975

Phil Bishop & Dave Fox playing Rugby Fives, RFA Website, GPL

Without doubt my favourite game in the early days at Alleyn’s was fives. Specifically at Alleyn’s we played Rugby Fives.

It was the only sport at which I was good enough to represent the school and no doubt that selection only came through my comparative ability with the left-hand as well as the right. Let’s not call this ambidextrous, in my case more like ambiclumsy. In any case, my doubles partner was Alan Cooke and he was good. I probably got my team berth more on the back of Alan’s skills than my own.

Still, I wasn’t bad and there are lots of references to my successes and failures throughout my diaries, especially 1974 & the first half of 1975.

But looking back today, early February 2016, I thought I should write a short piece about this simple entry I found for 9 June 1975.

Uneventful day.  Beat Eltham 11-5, 11-5 in Q-Finals.

Now in my book, John Eltham was good at sport. Really good at sport. I’m not sure John played fives much, but he was generally good at sport.

I was not good at sport. Really, really, really not good at sport. There was the occasional success, of course, not least one goalkeeping tale of derring-do that I have promised not to blog about…

…for the time being…

…until I can find the reference and/or unless the promised hush money proves not to be forthcoming…

…but my point is, looking back, I don’t see how the two sentences in the above quote could possibly be talking about the same day. Beating John Eltham at any sport made it an eventful day. Heck, just having got to the Q-Finals of any sport made it an eventful day for me.

But perhaps my young mind, turned by some fleeting success, was by then looking beyond a semi-final appearance to greater glory than that achieved.

The diary is silent on fives for the rest of the term apart from a fleeting mention of my semi-final loss a week-or-so later, with no mention of the score or the opponent – click here or below – clearly I couldn’t even bear to write down that particular losing result.

A Truly Thrice Awful Day In My School/Sporting Life, 18 June 1975

Anyone care/dare to own up to ruining this poor kid’s day by destroying his one chance at glory in the internal fives competition? I fancy a rematch.

Postscript One

John Eltham, on seeing this posting, e-mailed me the next day to say:

You modestly left out the fact that we had at least two national Rugby Fives champions in our year ! Hodson & Stendall.

Indeed we did, John. And indeed Jumbo Jennings latterly. I’d forgotten about Neil Hodson in that context.

I have a strange feeling that it might well have been Hodson who beat me in the semis – I have always had a sense of unfinished business with him and I probably would have been too gutted to report the loss. Whereas Chris Stendall was, like Alan Cooke, an old mate from primary school; I took my (more often than not) losses against them on the chin and regularly recorded those in the diary.

Postscript Two

After writing the above line “I fancy a rematch” and posting this piece, I then knelt down to put the 1975 diary back in the box under the bed and then…felt my left hammy twinge when I got up again. Perhaps a fives rematch at the age of 53 is not such a good idea after all.

Postscript Three

For reasons of his own, Rohan Candappa presented me with a trophy commemorating this historic fives victory, in December 2018, described here:

An Award-Winning Evening During Which I Hung Out With The Alleyn’s Old Boys Crowd, Sripur Restaurant, 6 December 2018

From left to right: John Eltham (just in picture), Rohan Candappa, Paul Driscoll & Ollie Goodwin

Selected For Cricket First Eleven Aged 12 & Other Alleyn’s School Hard Ball Stories, Plus Mum’s Hip Op & More, May 1975

1975 was my sporting annus mirabilis – or perhaps I should say that Alleyn’s Trinity Term 1975 was my sporting tempus mirabilis – for several reasons. For example, I have previously (out of sequence) reported my fives quarter final success.

An Uneventful Day Playing Fives, 9 June 1975

My most mirabilis hard ball (cricket ball, I hasten to point out) moment was also in June 1975, but I’ll keep readers in suspenders for that one at this stage.

Still, almost as astonishing was my selection for the cricket first eleven, on 3 May 1975, while I was still only 12. It’s there in the diary:

What do you mean, you can’t make out what that page says?

Sunday, 27 April 1975 – classes good. Salt beef excellent. Kalooki from 15p down to 11p up. Nice day and all.

Monday 28 April 1975– fives good. TV The Likely Lads, The Waltons, The Goodies.

Tuesday 29 April 1975 – uneventful day. TV The Rockford files, Edward the Seventh.

Wednesday, 30 April 1975 – cricket 2AK won – Me 6–0 runs 1-9 bowling, one catch. [Family dentist Harry] Wachtel came. TV St Trinians, Survivors, Woodhouse Playhouse.

Thursday, 1 May 1975 – Mom’s birthday. Classes good. TV Are You Being Served?

Friday 2 May 1975 – went into Barnett’s [Cyril and Marion]. Went to Camden. TV The Main Chance.

Saturday, 3 May 1975 – scored for first 11. Us 150 for 7 declared them 130 for 6.

OK, so I didn’t PLAY for the first XI at the age of 12, I scored for them. Give me a break, readers, I was only 12. Still, this was I’m sure an unusual promotion for one so young. Colin Page looked after the first XI and must have spotted (or been tipped off to) one of my many superpowers while I was still very young.

I simply will not accept the argument that Colin Page must have been desperate in his search for a scorer for that match. Nor that his desperation might well have had something to do with the fact that the FA Cup Final was that day and a London derby to boot. That is an outrageous slur on my burgeoning talent, aged 12.

Colin Page utilised my enthusiasm for cricket a great deal over the years, as the diary will attest. Scoring, umpiring…pretty much anything other than taking to the field of play. Still, he repaid my enthusiasm in spades at the end of my Alleyn’s journey, by giving me a glowing reference for Keele University in 1980:

Getting In To & Starting At Keele University, 8 October 1980

But that bit of the past was way in the future in 1975. Let’s press on with the next week:

Sunday 4 May 1975 – classes good. Played in afternoon. Nice day. TV War Film.

Monday, 5 May 1975 – fives good. TV The Likely Lads, The Waltons, The Goodies.

Tuesday, 6 May 1975 – classes good. 18 out of 20 maths, 19 out of 20 Latin. TV Edward The Seventh.

Wednesday, 7 May 1975 – cricket was off. Finished Treasure Island. TV cartoon film, Survivors, Woodhouse Playhouse.

Thursday, 8 May 1975 – went to Grandma Jenny. Classes good. TV Love Thy Neighbour, Are You Being Served? Goodies Special.

Friday, 9 May 1975 – event swimming. Little men [goodness only knows what this means?]. TV The Best Of Dick Emery, The Good Life.

Saturday, 10 May 1975 – school in morning. Uneventful. Afternoon TV Eastern?, Sale of the Century, Mike Yarwood, Cannon.

Sunday, 11 May 1975 – dined at “Dragon” [Golden?] – v good. Flew planes. Stick stretch [was that a type of model plane?] excellent. TV Waterloo Road, Waltons film.

Monday 12 May 1975 – fives v good. Mom went into hospital. Dined at Peach Blossom. TV RWT [Rutland Weekend Television].

Tuesday, 13 May 1975 – went to classes. Had a nice dinner. TV Edward The Seventh.

Wednesday, 14 May 1975 – won cricket 54 to 38. Went to Barnett’s for dinner. Went to Camden Town. Beat Uncle Cyril at chess. TV Wodehouse Playhouse.

Thursday, 15 May 1975 – went to see mom. All right after operation. Dined at Peach Blossom. TV All in the Family (no good).

Friday, 16 May 1975 – had chicken etc. Went to see mum. Went to Grandma Anne’s. Don [Knipe] in bloody swear mood.

Saturday 17 May 1975 – went to school in morning. Andrew [Andy Levinson] for the rest of the day. Won snooker competition.

I owe an apology to readers who are wondering why I am again reporting my mother’s hip replacement surgery having previously reported it in/as February 1975:

A Private Lesson In Arthroplasty, Hockey, Supervising Entrance Exams, Viola Mooted, A Field Trip To Kew Gardens & Far Too Much TV: Alleyn’s School & Beyond In The First Half Of February 1975

I now realise/remember that mum’s surgery in February was a preparatory operation for her scheduled hip replacement, as she had, some years earlier, had a plate inserted in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt at using femoral osteotomy to provide a long-term solution to her hip problem.

The main, hip replacement surgery was in May 1975 and what a marathon that was compared with today. Mum was in hospital for more than two weeks having her Stanmore inserted…

…whereas my own experience of a total hip replacement, fifty years later (sixteen weeks ago as I write) was to spend only two days in hospital and then acquainting myself with  Pinky, my brand-new hip, at home.

The upshot for me and dad in May 1975 was a chance to try out several different Chinese restaurants and multiple invitations from friends and neighbours. What a kindly community we had back then.

My visits to Cyril and Marion Barnett next door had started before the hip business. They were in the schmutter (clothing) business and had a storeroom/showroom thing in Chalk Farm/Camden. It became one of their/our habits for them to feed me, take me for a ride in the back of their van to Camden, where I would help them move clobber around or whatever, then they would buy me (and themselves) ice cream at Marine Ices and then home. I loved Marine Ices Marsala wine flavoured ice cream best and can never taste Marsala or see a bottle of the stuff without thinking of those days.

You can keep your madeleines – my Proust phenomenon comes from Marsala wine.

I also mention, on the Friday, “Don [Knipe] in bloody swear mood”. I have told the tale of Don Knipe (our doctor, Edwina Green’s husband) in a previous article, which, as it happens, also involved the idea of involuntary memory.

Strange Case Of Dr Green And Mr Knipe…And Beluga Caviar And Scotch Whisky And A Bust Of Hitler, c22 December 1981

Another bit of the past that was still way in the future in 1975. Let’s move swiftly on.

“Won snooker competition”, which I mention on the Saturday, was most likely a tournament comprising three or four of us: Andrew (Andy) Levinson for sure, me also for sure (as I won it, remember) and most likely Stuart Harris [no relation], with possibly other competitors such as Fiona Levinson and Gail Harris (Stuart’s sister). My annus/tempus mirabilis simply knew no bounds at that time.

Sunday, 18 May 1975 – classes morning. Afternoon saw mum. Evening Andrew.

Monday 19 May 19 75– Fives good. Beat Edwards 15-10 and Johnson 15-12. Saw mum.

Tuesday, 20 May 1975 – classes good. Had Langers again. TV Hughes[?] Rockford, Edward Seventh.

Wednesday 21 May 1975 – did all prep in chapel service. Cricket again got two catches. We won 52-46. Visited mum. OK.

Thursday, 22 May 1975 – field day very good. Scored 3 C[ricket matches?]. [Wayne] Manhood in best match. Grandma Jenny’s for tea. Classes Ok.

Friday, 23 May 1975 – went to Grandma Jenny for lunch and afternoon. Went to [dad’s] shop then visited mummy.

Saturday 24 May 1975 – Andy’s barmitzvah went well. Stayed with Benji’s [Stanley, Doreen, Jane & Lisa] for day. Saw mum in morning and evening.

Andy Levinson at my bar mitzvah some weeks later

Sunday 25 May 1975 – no classes. Dad at home of course.

Monday 26 May 1975 – dad home. Visited mummy. Mum’s walked. Went to see Earthquake (shake)

Tuesday 27th of May 1975 – went to Grandma Anne’s for lunch. Played with Andy. Classes good.

Wednesday, 28 May 1975 – we won cricket verses 2BM. I caught Andrew out. Saw mummy.

Thursday, 29 May 1975 – went to Grandma Jenny for tea. Classes good. TV Dad’s Army, Jacques Cousteau, All In The Family.

Friday, 30 May 1975 – went to visit mum. Getting better every minute – should be out soon. Went to Grandma Anne’s.

Saturday 31 May 1975 – scored for under 13s v Whitgift. Tied match. 83 all out each. Went to Richmond Rendezvous with Uncle Cyril [Barnett].

Earthquake – oh deary me. Those disaster movies were all the rage back then. Earthquake was in Sensurround, which made you feel as though you were experiencing the quakes in the cinema. Lovely.

I seem to recall that Grandma Anne was nevertheless able to sleep through the experience.

And talking of quakes, I wonder how my good friend Andy Levinson feels now about me reporting that he was caught out by me on the cricket pitch so soon after his bar mitzvah?

Ah, right!

Vice Captaincy, Back When the Phrase “I Scored At the Weekend” Meant Cricket At Alleyn’s, Plus So Many Unanswered Questions For The Hive Mind Of Alleyn’s Alums, Start Of Trinity Term, April 1975

Folks – I need help.

I am so stuck trying to decipher my diary from the start of the Trinity term of 1975, I have been putting off progressing my write-ups…

…well, actually, to be fair, real life has intervened a lot these last few weeks.

Anyway, I really am stuck on one page so much, I am going to throw my questions out to the hive mind of Alleyn’s alums from my era and see if the collective brains can solve some of these mysteries.

Here’s an attempt at unpicking the words in the diary page pictured above, Tuesday to Saturday.

Tuesday 22 April 1975 – went back to school. Classes good. TV Edward The Seventh.

Wednesday, 23 April 1975 – appointed cricket vice captain. TV Robin Hood, The Survivors, The Fight Against Slavery.

Thursday, 24 April 1975.– Taking violin grade 2. Rotten fish. TV Are You Being Served.

Friday 25 April 1975 – Dr Chow took rest Fartleck training. TV The Husband of the Year, The Good Life.

Saturday 26 April 1975 – scored in cricket match. Good match. Richards c Cox b Cummings 75. TV Canon (Fatso Fuzz).

Questions – let’s start with the Wednesday’s cricket vice-captaincy. This will have been an appointment for my class, 2AK, team, not the firsts or seconds. But can anyone out there tell me:

  • what did the role of vice-captain entail in such a team? Was it a bit like being the vice-president of the United States, only without the hate? I have no recollection of doing anything captain/vice-captain like at that time. Indeed, finding that diary entry was a bit of a surprise.
  • who was the captain of that team? We weren’t the sportiest class and the few sporty people we had tended not to condescend to play cricket for the class. I’m pretty sure that Jumbo Jennings, for example, was far too busy dominating other sports to show his face on a cricket pitch until his terrifying arrival with ball in hand the following season. I’d guess Ian Feeley but hopefully someone (e.g. Ian) remembers.
  • who would have chosen these key roles in that vital tournament? Tony King, our form master, presumably.
Aye, you – Harris! Look at me when I’m talking to yer. Cricket. Vice!

Moving on to Thursday, what does the phrase “Rotten Fish” mean in that context? Was that a slang phrase we were using to show discontent? I don’t remember it. Or was it some in joke or code phrase of my own, which I expected to remember for all time? Paul Deacon – you were our form catch phrase merchant.

Similarly, even worse, on Friday, what on earth do I mean when I write that Dr Chow “took rest Fartleck [sic] training”? I am pretty sure that Chris Liffen taught us biology that year and Chow taught us chemistry. But perhaps I am wrong. My chemistry was never very good, so perhaps the phrase “rest Fartleck training” makes perfect sense to a decent scientist. Or to other reluctant scientists like me who had made up some sort of lingo.

Update: Paul Deacon chimed in on Facebook to point out that, “From Wikipedia: Fartlek is a middle and long-distance runner’s training approach developed in the late 1930s by Swedish Olympian Gösta Holmér.” My failure even to do a simple Google search on the term Fartlek makes me feel “old fart-like” 🤪

Gösta Holmér – clearly his method did not spare his knee

I cannot unpick Richards, c Cox b Cummings 75. Who were we playing for a start? And what level was I scoring? I don’t think I was promoted to scoring first eleven games until a little later in the season.

Returning to slang, the only phrase I recognise as being family slang is the notion that Canon, the TV detective, was “fatso fuzz”. My dad would have cultivated that phrase, in part as self-effacing humour.

Dad sort of liked and sort of disliked the Canon series. He liked the idea of a portly cop but liked to ridicule the plots and writing. Indeed, he had a theory that the studios had computers that were generating the scripts for such programmes, as each week’s programme seemed like a slight variant on its predecessor story.

You were 45-50 years ahead of the curve, dad.

Anyway, I apologise unequivocally if I have hurt the feelings of any portly people or anyone who works (or has ever worked) in law enforcement.

Three Weeks Of Easter Holiday During My Second Year At Alleyn’s School, Including Football, Violence On The Terraces, Tennis, Snooker & Even The “B” Word, April 1975

The Thinker, 1975

I didn’t much use the B word (“boring”) in my teenage diaries, but that word does crop up more than once during the first three weeks of April 1975, deployed recklessly, as I shall point out later in this piece.

Tuesday, 1 April 1975 played on my own. TV Flintstones, Edward VII. Made model plane.

Wednesday 2 April 1975 – went to Andrew’s [Levinson] in afternoon. Played snooker etc. TV 20th Century Fox Presents, Fight Against Slavery.

Thursday, 3 April 1975 – played tennis and football in morning with Andy [Levinson] and Stuart [Harris]. TV man about the house, are you being served, Dave Allen.

Friday 4 April 1975 – played with Andy in afternoon. In morning got record missing from library [?].

Saturday 5 April 1975 – went to Spurs in afternoon. TV Pot Black, Canon.

I cannot fathom what I am trying to tell my diary about the record library. I do recall borrowing a lot of records from the library over the years, probably starting around then.

I can convincingly report through the power of memory that Stanley Benjamin took me to see that match. My memory (as enhanced by Google) can also report that a star-studded Spurs beat Luton Town 2-1 that day.

Picture from e-Bay listing – click here.

Sunday, 6 April 1975 – classes morning. Kalooki in afternoon and evening. All square!? Times seven.

Monday, 7 April 1975 – played with Andy. TV Likely Lads, Alias Smith and Jones, Goodies, Horizon.

Tuesday, 8 April 1975 – went shopping. Classes, grammar, whole book!! TV High Society, Edward The Seventh.

Wednesday, 9 April 1975 – Paul Deacon came over for day. Nice time.

Thursday, 10 April 1975 – classes! Andrew in the afternoon. TV Man About The House, Are You Being Served?

Friday, 11 April 1975 – another boring day! Tennis Stuart Harris. TV Caribe, The Good Life, Within These Walls, ? by 10!

I can only apologise to my friends whose names are juxtaposed with the word boring. I am quite sure I meant to say, “boring day apart from…” rather than suggest that my activities with friends were boring.

Saturday, 12 April 1975 – went to Chelsea V Man City. Lost 0–1. Good match though.

That match will have been with Andy Levinson and his dad Norman. Asa Hartford scored the solitary goal. Here’s a link to a report with pictures.

Sunday, 13 April 1975 – Kalooki 4p. Classes pretty boring as usual. Benjahair turned up! Mini squidge joined.

I cannot work out exactly where those nicknames came from, or even in the case of the first one whose nickname it was. Benjahair might have been Alison Benjamin‘s nickname at that time. Mini Squidge was Graham Laikin, younger brother of “Squidge” who was Richard Laikin. I’m sure these lovely people will be thrilled to have their teenage nicknames dug out of the archives for posterity. This is what happens when information treasure troves are opened under the fifty year rule. 🤪

Monday 14 April 1975 morning uneventful. Afternoon Andrew and Henry. TV Likely Lads, Alias Smith & Jones, Goodies – goody goody yum yum!

Tuesday, 15 April 1975 – Andrew afternoon snooker 7-6 to me after 5-1 to him. Molivers [Josh & Sadie] came in evening. Nice day!

Wednesday, 16 April 1975 – hospital mum in within three weeks. Taken by Marjorie and Wendy [Levinson]. Brixton haircut. TV Survivors, Fight Against Slavery.

Coincidentally, a few days after writing this piece, I spotted “Auntie Marjorie’s car” in Waitrose, Ealing. The proud owner, who had recently acquired the car, was delighted that I wanted to photograph it:

I cannot recall who Henry was. If it was someone from Alleyn’s School, Henry is a nickname which has slipped my memory. Apologies. Perhaps a friend of Andy’s from his previous school, Dulwich Prep. Sadie Moliver was mum’s cousin, although a generation older than mum in fact. Sadie was one of the few people on the planet who terrified my mum. It might have been on this occasion that I helped make the tea and mum demanded in a trembling voice that I ensure that Sadie’s cuppa was strong or else she would denounce it…

“this tea tastes like piss”.

Sadie when much younger. Thanks to Sidney Pizan for the picture.

Thursday 17 April 1975. I’ve – went to Alan’s [Cooke] for day. Lovely time. Went to classes. TV Love Thy Neighbour, Are You Being Served.

Friday, 18 April 1975 – had diarrhoea! Went shopping. In afternoon saw film on TV: The Village, Husband of the Year, The Good Life.

I’m sure that many of my readers are appreciating this level of detail in my juvenile diary, especially the many readers who like to use Ogblog as mealtime reading. [Please insert your own joke along the lines of “verbal diarrhoea diary” here]

Saturday, 19 April 1975 went to see Chelsea V Spurs. Fighting on terraces. Lost 0-2. Boo. TV Pot Black final, G[raham] Miles won. Canon.

Regarding THAT football match, I remember the occasion quite clearly. Again I was with Stanley Benjamin & some other members of the Benjamin family in their season ticket seats. The scrappiness of the football can be seen in this “classic match” video:

The match, the violence and the long tail of resentment between the two sides is captured in this article – click here -one of many I could have chosen.

I didn’t feel any sense of danger, as my hosts knew (or at least held themselves out to be knowing) how and when to leave the ground to avoid trouble.

My parents, however, were unnerved by the fact that I was on my way home from a football match while they were seeing scenes of violence from the ground on the news.

It might have been that occasion, more than anything else, that made my parents a little more reluctant to let me go off to football matches, while being quite relaxed about me toddling off to see county cricket at The Oval.

Friends who have shown concern about my football allegiances at that time (Perry Harley – you might be one of many) will spot the clarity of my express emotions in the April 1975 diary – my heart at that time was with Chelsea. Whereas I can now honestly say that my heart is not with (or against) any football team.

For those who find snooker more to their taste than football, I have found that Pot Black final on YouTube too:

You might sense that I was becoming a little skittish for the last two days of that school holiday. Dig the final two holiday entries:

Sunday, 20 April 1975 – found snail (Sydney). Kalooki, won 22p. Nice day in all!

Monday, 21 April 1975 – went to Tooting. Played around. TV Likely Lads, Alias Smith and Jones, Goodies – a goody goody yum Yum.

What I did in Tooting and with whom I played around on that last day of the holidays is lost in the mists of time. Andy Levinson and/or Stuart Harris most likely.

The ultra violence of those London derby football matches was clearly starting to have an effect on us youngsters! 🤪

Last Week Of March 1975: Alleyn’s End Of Term, Passover, Easter, Subbuteo Cricket At Home & Full-Sized Football At White Hart Lane

Colourful diary pages and a few colourful…or at least memorable… diary comments that week too.

Don’t bother to tell me. You need me to transliterate the above diary page, don’t you?

Monday 24 March 1975 – Five’s good. Made echo with recorder. TV Likely Lads, Alias Smith & Jones, Goodies, Horizon

After the dreadful noise I made “performing” Britten’s Psalm 150, recorded for posterity the previous day…

Alleyn’s Concert “A Big Flop”, “Concert Went Well”, Trial By Jury, Battle Of Stamford Bridge…Reviewed With Evidence, Late March 1975

…the noise of me playing with the echo effect capabilities of our Sony TC377 were probably a relative mercy to my parents ears. I am relieved and delighted to inform you that those particular echo chamber efforts appear to be lost for ever, so you are spared the indignity of hearing them. But fear not, echo lovers, I think there are one or two other recordings of that ilk that have survived – eh, Paul Deacon? 😉

Far too much telly, as usual, but it does seem that the Harris family TV vigil was mostly in front of BBC2 in those days, which at least had some educational content. See this link for the BBC2 schedule that night. Strangely, I remember that Horizon programme about the Milgram Experiment very clearly, as it affected me profoundly and I still think Milgram’s work has currency, despite it not conforming with modern standards of control and rigour.

Tuesday, 25 March 1975 – no [Hebrew] classes. TV Flintstones, Gillette Cup 71, Napoleon, Police Harrow Road.

Wednesday, 26 March 1975 – broke up from school. Not bad report. Andrew Levinson] in afternoon. Our own little Seder with duck. TV Rhoda, Slaves

“Our own little Seder” would have been me, mum and dad. Radical choice of duck for that “dress rehearsal” ceremonial meal, but dad was always partial to duck (as am I) and it was, after all, our own little Seder. I can tell you for sure that dad would have rushed through the ceremonial verbiage to get to the meal as quickly as possible. The next night we’d have been on better behaviour and the whole thing would have been more “regular”. I expect lamb was involved on the Thursday.

Thursday 27th of March 1975 played Subbuteo cricket. Seder with Marie and Louis and Grandma Jenny.

The first mention of Subbuteo cricket in my diary. I am pretty sure I would have been given it for – or rather funded the purchase from money given to me around – Christmas.

The approach of the cricket season…which even in those days included the BBC showing highlights from a Gillette Cup final from a few year’s earlier…must have prompted me to get started with my Subbuteo Cricket on the first day of the Easter holidays. Good for me.

Home

I had the Club Edition. The fancier versions were for the posh boys.

Club Edition

I probably tried to emulate a Roses Match, using a press clipping of the scorecard from the 1974 May Bank Holiday match scorecard as my team sheets.

Seder nights with Marie & Louis Barst and Grandma Jenny became a regular feature of my Pesach experience for many years. Latterly we went to communal seders at Kingston Liberal Synagogue…or rather the local Unitarian Church hall that the Liberal Synagogue took over for communal seder nights…but at this stage we had them over to our place for the second seder night. Marie, who was a professional singer and singing teacher, would ensure that the singing was top notch. I describe that phenomenon some more in this one, from a few years later:

Ten Days In London For Passover & Easter 1982

Friday, 28 March 1975 – went to see Spurs V Wolves 3-0. Went to Grandma Anne’s in evening. TV Around The World In 80 Days.

The visit to White Hart Lane to see Tottenham Hotspurs play Wolverhampton Wanderers will have been with Stanley Benjamin. The Benjamins (Doreen & Stanley, plus daughters Jane & Lisa) were friends of the family and lived in our street.

Mum with Doreen & Stanley, late 1950s or c1960.

The entire male branch of the Benjamin family had season tickets at White Hart Lane. Andy Levinson and I were convenient substitutes if one or more of Stanley’s brothers/kin were away. On this occasion, as I don’t mention Andy, I think it was just me and I think we joined one or two of Stanley’s brothers in the posh stand where their season ticket seats were located.

There was a big bank holiday crowd that day and I remember oh so clearly that John Duncan scored one of the goals and Steve Perryman scored the other two…

…OK, in truth I remember nothing of the sort, but I do know how to Google a scorecard.

If you want to see the programme, it is available on e-bay – click here. I note that I saw Cyril Knowles play that day. No doubt there were many choruses of “Nice One Cyril” ringing out around White Hard Lane that afternoon, as the promise of a Spurs victory came good. Go on, click the embed, you know you want to hear the song.

Saturday 29 March 1975 – went to shule. Went shopping. TV Doctor Who v good.

Sunday 30 March 1975 – no classes, lunch at Feld’s, Grandma Anne around for tea and evening. TV film Camelot.

Monday, 31 March 1975 – Dad was home. In all day. TV Scooby Doo, two Al Jolson films, Paper Moon, Goodies, Futtocks End, Alias Smith & Jones, Further Up Pompeii

An insane amount of telly on Bank Holiday Monday. I’ll guess it was a wet day. Futtocks End was one of those short comedy films that came around with alarming regularity on public holidays. I remember that there were no words – just grunts and exclamatory noises. My dad loved that film. Here are some clips:

John Burns, aka John Random, reports below that we both must have been watching the same stuff on TV. Well, there were only three channels; I’m sure the choices of discerning viewers such as our parents would often overlap! As evidence, John has sent in a magnificent sketch of his own – not a comedy sketch on this occasion but a pencil sketch. My dad would surely have approved.

Up Pompeii starred Frankie Howerd – it was a sort of cross between “A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To the Forum” and “Carry On Cleo”. I’m not sure the material has aged well…or perhaps it was always somewhat infantile… but in any case I do recall liking Up Pompeii as a child, whereas I find this short clip excruciating now

Alleyn’s Concert “A Big Flop”, “Concert Went Well”, Trial By Jury, Battle Of Stamford Bridge…Reviewed With Evidence, Late March 1975

An artist’s impression of the Alleyn’s Lower School Orchestra in Spring 1975, sometimes misattributed as “The Battle of Stamford Bridge, from The Life of King Edward the Confessor by Matthew Of Paris“

I somehow remained in the Lower School Orchestra that season, despite having shown no aptitude whatsoever for playing the violin, even though the violin was “the family instrument” on my mother’s side.

Turn It Up To Max & Spit: The Baltic Origins Of My Mother’s (Marcus) Family Revealed

My mother’s pain at my musical ineptitude was exacerbated by the cruel fact that Andy Levinson, from our street, showed some real talent for the violin. How could that be fair? The Levinsons were a medical family. Andy should have been fiddling around with medical instruments, not literally fiddling with far more musical instrument success than Ian, who was, after all, trying his very best.

Me switching to the viola for a while didn’t help. For the March 1975 concert, I was consigned to the second violins, ensuring that I had a little less to do, thus causing minimal disruption to the overall sound of the orchestra.

“There are other options, little Ian. Have you considered viols, viola da gamba…”

Anyway, all of the above is context…as is the fact that my mum was still grumpy and still hobbling around the place in mid to late March, I think with walking sticks rather than crutches by then, having had her hip replaced in mid February.

Here’s the diary:

Here’s a transliteration of that diary page.

Sunday, 16 March 1975 classes good. Feld’s lunch. Came home with Grandma Anne. Kalooki 2p up. TV Golden Shot.

Monday, 17 March 1975 – Fives good. Prepared for Tuesday. TV Likely Lads, Alias Smith and Jones, Goodies/Rolf Harris.

Tuesday, 18 March 1975 – first day of concert. In my opinion a big flop. TV Flintstones (Rock Quarry)

I’ll return shortly to the question of whether or not the concert was a big flop.

Meanwhile, and far more interestingly, for some reason I thought it important to note the name of the Flintstones episode I enjoyed that same day. This meant that, 50 years later, I could track that episode down and include it in Ogblog. I might have had five thumbs back then but clearly I also had forethought.

Wednesday, 19 March 1975 – concert went well this evening. Watched Trial By Jury. Mr. Tindale very good indeed.

“It’s hard to tell how the concert went from these conflicting reviews, but the judgement on Mr Tindale as the judge is very clear”, Tindale J.

Thursday, 20 March 1975 – some good results. Classes good. TV Man About The House, Dave Allen.

Friday, 21 March 1975 – concert went well. TV Porridge, MASH.

Saturday, 22 March 1975 – went to 1st soccer match Chelsea V Middlesbrough. Concert, mum & dad, Trial By Jury.

I have written up my first ever visit to a football match – a visit to Stamford Bridge, previously – click here or below:

My “First Soccer Match”, Chelsea v Middlesbrough, Stamford Bridge, 22 March 1975

But had the concert been any good or not? We need evidence. Below is an extract from Mr Kingman’s Scribblerus review of the entire event, mostly covering the Psalm 150 bit which was the bit in which I participated.

If you are aching to read the entire review, including the review of Trevor Tindale’s performance in Trial By Jury, click here for a pdf of the full page.

Sunday. 23 March 1975 – classes mock Seder. Recorded Psalm 150 and me. Took up most of the afternoon and evening.

Good gracious! Is it possible that the recording of me & Psalm 150 has survived these 50 years? Of course it is more than possible.

Firstly, my rather lengthy intro, which is also a supplement to my diary notes, I suppose:

Then the five minute concert piece recording that apparently took much of the day. Arguably, that was not time especially well spent. Had I spent more hours learning my instrument than twiddling knobs on the tape recorder, who knows how my playing might have sounded. As it is, you need a trigger warning, only click if you have robust hearing and a broad mind:

Mercifully, that is the only known recording of my attempts with the violin.

My final recollection from the concert is my mother’s comment, in the form of a question, after my performance:

Why was your bow going up at the same time as everyone else’s coming down…and coming down while everyone else’s was going up?

I never forgot that damning question, mum; never.

A Highly Representative Fortnight For Alleyn’s School While In My Second Year, Early March 1975

Trevor Tindale – an excellent judge of character

Quite early in this fortnight, my mother emerged from hospital following her pre-op (plate removal I think) ahead of her hip replacement, grumping at home on crutches during that period. This element gets little mention in my diary after her escape.

Grumpy? Me?

Sunday 2 March 1975 – classes good. Visited mum today [in Kings College Hospital] great improvement – TV Cat Ballou.

Monday 3 March 1975 – mum came out of hospital. Adam’s ribs. TV Smith and Jones, Goodies.

Tuesday 4 March 1975 – classes very good. Kentucky chicken. TV The Great Match.

Wednesday, 5 March 1975 – hockey good. Worked on practical. TV Pioneers of Photography, Worldwide, Rhoda, The Evacuees.

Thursday, 6 March 1975 – classes good. TV The Roman Way, Dave Allen, Controversy.

Friday, 7 March 1975 – uneventful school. Went to Doreen and co [Benjamin family] for dinner. TV Porridge, MASH.

Saturday, 8 March 1975 uneventful. TV Doctor Who, Walt Disney, Pot Black, film: Elephant Walk.

Sunday, 9 March 1975 – classes/parents. Went to Pam and Michael’s fish!?!?!? TV Ice Skating, The Great War, The Golden Shot.

Pam & Michael (my aunt and uncle) a few month’s later

Mum was still temporarily unable to cook and dad was not the cooking type – hence the myriad of take-aways and kind invitations by neighbours and family. I remember that there was something memorable about Auntie Pam’s fish dish that Sunday. Dad’s verdict went beyond colourful punctuation.

Monday 10 March 1975 – fives good. TV Likely Lads, Alias Smith and Jones, Goodies (goody goody yum yum).

Tuesday 11 March 1975 fives match v Rutlish, Loftus etc. Tea nice. TV McMillan and wife.

Wednesday, 12 March 1975 yet more fives v Henry Thornton. Cookie and me, 89–64 and all – 13 points Tea nice. TV Rhoda/Mary Tyler Moore.

Thursday 13 March 1975 Psalm 150 practice good. TV Man About The House, Taste For Adventure, Dave Allen At Large.

Friday, 14 March 1975 form dito from PE. TV Porridge v good.

Saturday 15 March 1975 exeat, shule, Gabriel’s bar [bar mitzvah?]. TV Doctor Who, Walt Disney, Pop Black.

A lot of fives there, at the start of the week, including two representative matches; the first against Rutlish School, the second against Henry Thornton. I am pretty sure that these matches were both played at home. Hence, the consistent verdict of “tea nice” is surely a big thumbs-up for the Alleyn’s dinner ladies.

I’m sure there are many readers who would like more detail on the contents of that tea. Sadly, my diary is silent on those details. Alan “Cookie” Cooke might remember the vital tea details. I’ll hazard a guess that white bread with butter and jelly-type jam utterly devoid of solid fruit content would have qualified as “nice” in my book, especially if some sort of spongy cake was also involved. Tea would have been served in the buttery, I’m pretty sure.

I remember taking great pride in representing the school at fives and I also remember getting few chances as a junior to do so. I was a bit surprised to see that we played two representative matches in as many days.

I’m not sure what “Loftus” means in the context of the Rutish game, but I suspect we nicknamed one of the Rutish players for his height and I suspect that he and his mates got the better of us, especially as I document in great detail our superior points tally against Henry Thornton.

Cookie – please chime in if you remember anything about these matches. I do recall thinking that we paired well in doubles, both in internal matches and these representative ones.

Trevor Tindale oversaw proceedings and wrote a small paragraph about lower school fives in Scribblerus that year.

I’ll leave it to you, dear reader, to decide whether Trevor was a fine judge of character with regard to my sporting maturity.

Revives For Fives, An Afternoon Of Hard Ball At Lord’s, 28 February 2022
The MCC Real Tennis Club Weekend & Related Potty Adventures, 31 January To 2 February 2025

In truth my memory of these 50 years ago events is weak. I don’t remember who Gabriel was, on that Saturday; apologies to him.

But I must warn everyone that I not only remember a fair bit about the Psalm 150 “performance”, but the diary, Scribblerus and even my archive of reel-to-reel tapes preserves plenty of…arguably too much…information. To be reported in more detail next time.

Me Mugged, Mum Knifed…All In A 10 Day Stretch Around Alleyn’s School & Camberwell in Late February 1975

DeepAI Imagines The 01 Once Daily Streatham Hill To London Bridge

We had our own special train that took us from Streatham Hill directly to North Dulwich (and then on to London Bridge). A great service for us Alleyn’s kids from Streatham Hill, not needing to change. It was even named/numbered the 01, perhaps in honour of its once a day status.

Of course it was not just for us Alleyn’s kids; there were kids from other schools – Tulse Hill Comp. and William Penn to name but two – on that train too. No self-respecting adults rode on that train as far as I can remember.

In the early days, there were very few of us from Alleyn’s who got on at the start of that run – possibly just me and Andy Levinson. We loved the fact that we could see the train in the siding and that it pulled into the station, seemingly for us.

Andy a couple of years later

Latterly for sure Rupert Jefferies, Justin Sutton and I think one or two others from Alleyn’s joined the train at Streatham Hill, but those guys I think started after the “mugging” described below.

Friday 21 February 1975 – “mugged” on train. TV Sportstown, Rhoda, Porridge and MASH v good.

I remember a fair bit about the incident, although I don’t think I could identify the brace of assailants now. In those days, British Rail had 10×10 person compartment carriages on those suburban trains. Andy and I usually had a compartment to ourselves, but on this occasion we were joined by two larger lads. They seemed well big to us, but we were 12; they might have been 15 or 16.

Hey boys, they shouted, have you got any money…and we said…

…very little. We had very little money. We were schoolboys who had no need for money on a regular school day, so I suspect we had a couple of bob between us. (That’s 10p if younger readers are unfamiliar with the terminology).

We gave them what little we had and then, I remember this so clearly, the assailants sort-of boxed…pretty much just slapped, our ears, perhaps in frustration at the paucity of their haul and/or possibly because our suits betrayed the fact that we were from a posh school.

Ultra-violence it wasn’t, which is why my diary entry used the term “mugged” rather than, for example, MUGGED.

Saturday 22 February 19 75 – TV Doctor Who, Walt Disney. David Aarons – Monopoly, I won. [He] taught me gin rummy.

Two Saturdays in a row my parents must have gone out, two Saturdays in a row David Aarons (one of Lionel & Dina Aarons’s children) came around. Mum and dad must have been fitting in a few socials ahead of mum going in for her hip replacement.

At age 12-and-a-half, I clearly didn’t have it in me to use the term “babysitting” in my diary, but that is what this would have been. David could have only just turned 16 by then. Prior to David, it was quite often one of his big sisters, Ruth or Judith, who would babysit for me. They had probably outgrown that role by then – indeed one of them at least was probably already at University by then. I don’t think the fourth Aarons “kid”, Robert, ever babysat for me.

I remember those sessions with David well. My perception was that he treated me more like a grown up than his sisters. Possibly I WAS quite a bit more grown up with him, or at least a fair bit closer to his age and stage of life. I do remember him teaching me games, although I had quite forgotten that he set me on the road to Gin Rummy. I remember him using some choice phrases that I liked and emulated for a while. I especially liked:

Expletive deleted…

…when indicated a desire to swear but the restraint to avoid doing so. I still use that one occasionally. I was saddened to learn that he died of brain cancer tragically young.

Sunday 23 February 1975 – classes good. Chinese good. Came home after lunch. TV The Great War, Who Do You Do.

Monday 24 February 1975 – went to visit mum in hospital. TV Goodies, Call My Bluff.

Tuesday 25 February 1975 – went to visit mum again. Rather uneventful day. Saw muggers in next door café.

Dad couldn’t cook to save his life, so while mum was in hospital having a pre-operation (plate removal from a failed attempt to avoid hip replacement) ahead of her hip replacement surgery, we ate almost every night in restaurants and cafes – either in Streatham, Camberwell or somewhere inbetween.

I recall the fact that I spotted the previous week’s assailants in a cafe just a few days later and pointed the fact out to my dad. It was one of those moments when you realise that your dad is not the all-embracing protector that your childhood assumes him to be. I can’t remember exactly what dad said, but it would have been something along the lines of…

…put it out of your mind, son.

It’s possible that he didn’t believe that I had really spotted the right guys. After all, even the police had a lousy reputation for identifying and nailing the right young criminals in such circumstances.But I’m equally sure that dad would have, quite rightly, felt loathe to take on such a situation.

Wednesday 26 February 1975 – went into Uncle Cyril’s cos of operation, went to [Cyril’s] shop, masala yum yum, played chess and I won!

Uncle Cyril in this instance is our next door neighbour Cyril Barnett. This was probably the first time that Cyril and his wife Marion took me in the back of their van up to Chalk Farm to deliver stock to his shop and have a treat at Marine Ices as a reward for helping them.

What would “elf & safety” say about a 12 year old kid rattling around in the back of a van with a whole load of shutters on rails? We could probably have Cyril and Marion taken away in chains for that today, but back then we all rolled with such risks and I rather enjoyed the thrill of those van rides…

Cyril: proof positive that you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs

…and I absolutely loved Marine Ices masala-flavoured ice cream. I fear the place has now gone, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Thursday, 27 February 1975 – visited mummy after shop. Dinner, “Adam’s Ribs”. TV The Roman Way, Dave Allen At Large.

”Dinner Adam’s Ribs” is a reference to a segment in MASH, where one of the characters was dreaming about his favourite Chinese spare ribs restaurant, which was named Adam’s Ribs. After visiting mum in Kings College Hospital, Dad and I found a Chinese restaurant in Camberwell where we both thought the spare ribs especially fine, so we declared that they were Adam’s Ribs.

Friday 28 February 1975 – Went to shop. Visited mummy. TV Porridge and MASH..

Saturday 1 March 1975 – Went to Andrew after school. Played snooker. Visited mummy again.

Mum was in hospital for 10 days or so, I think, preparing to having her Stanmore inserted in May.

It is strange sitting writing this article in the clinic, almost 50 years to the day that mum started the process of a hip replacement, having just yesterday had mine replaced. She got 40 years out of hers, I doubt if I’ll need or want 40 years out of mine!